Help from experts or divorce veterans

[stealth2]

I was looking for free legal advice and have seemed to only be "steered" towards getting a lawyer. I conclude that no matter what I say here, that will be the gist of the advice that I get.
My take on this is (as per this forum); any non-lawyer type seeking an uncontested divorce with kids should just go see a lawyer.

At the risk of being "brow-beaten", I still choose to handle this legal matter myself. Actually, it chooses me.
If you are truly compassionate individuals, as I am sure some here are, you will accept that and live with that. 'No negative reply necessary.

Apparently I did not state my case correctly, give proper details, or be submissive enough. 'No doubt, some will be angry at my words on this post.
I am a human being and not something less than that because I am not savvy to all legal matters.

If I say thank you for the help offered, that statement will only be invalidated by someone because of some prior instance of apparent rudeness of which I never begged forgiveness.

I will say it anyway. Thanks to all who offered assistance - even it the overall message was to see a lawyer.

Well... You actually did get good and relevant advice. It was suggested that you look into the TX visitation guidelines - because Mom WILL get visitation if she wants it. The links provided for you? Would have helped you with some of your questions - perhaps indicated alternate forms of service (because at this point, w/o that waiver? Your wife has not been served). Yet, every response to your situation was met with rudeness and sarcasm.

Fact is, if you are unwilling to do your own research? Unable to understand that Mom WILL get visitation of the children you share? Then you likely would be well served by at least a consultation with an attorney. It's not rude to suggest that to you. It's practical.

And frankly? If this is how you relate to people who you are asking for help? I can't say I blame your wife for taking off, and I pray you relate better with your children.

 

[GlennTX]

Here we go again

Well... You actually did get good and relevant advice. It was suggested that you look into the TX visitation guidelines - because Mom WILL get visitation if she wants it. The links provided for you? Would have helped you with some of your questions - perhaps indicated alternate forms of service (because at this point, w/o that waiver? Your wife has not been served). Yet, every response to your situation was met with rudeness and sarcasm.

Fact is, if you are unwilling to do your own research? Unable to understand that Mom WILL get visitation of the children you share? Then you likely would be well served by at least a consultation with an attorney. It's not rude to suggest that to you. It's practical.

And frankly? If this is how you relate to people who you are asking for help? I can't say I blame your wife for taking off, and I pray you relate better with your children.

'Just as expected.
Let me address misinformation about my situation of which is not true (and I do not know how got started).

1. I am not against the mother seeing her kids. I want her/us to have a healthy relationship now and in the future. So I accept some form of visitation for the mother and am open to anything positive - if it can or will be.

2. My wife has been served, also. I thought that was clear in my first post. Did you see this: {Concerning the legal notification, I had to have her sign a "waiver of citation"}.

3. You accuse me of using "rudeness and sarcasm" to every response that I received. Please give me an example. If I came across as stern or spiteful, well, I was just probably returning the treatment that I got or perceived that I got. here is an example: {Realistically you need an attorney. You clearly cannot handle this on your own.} I don't know about you, but that was very demeaning to me. Was that really that person's intent? I do not know, so I never said for sure. Read the following - it was my reply to that person: {I am going to assume that some here are actually here to help and others, not so much. I just do not know about this reply.... Firstly, you seem to talk down to me. Actually, from the words that I used to describe myself, a lot of that was just me being humble and humorous/less(?).}
How was that rude? All that was - was just me being honest.

4. (You wrote this) {Fact is, if you are unwilling to do your own research?} I don't even know if that is a question or a "fact" (in your mind), but it is wrong. I am perfectly willing to do whatever I need to do.

5. I never said that it was rude (of others) to suggest that I see an attorney. I just see it as a "cop out" of giving advice (my opinion!).

6. It had to come, sooner or later....someone had to do it:
{I can't say I blame your wife for taking off, and I pray you relate better with your children.}
You, in effect, have blamed me - my demeanor - for a failed marriage. If you want to strike a blow and misdirect the discussion, stoop down to adolescent behavior.
What is wrong with you?
Was it too hard to resist?
That, my friend, is rude!
You also mentioned my relationship with my kids. People like you have no limits as to how low they will go, huh?

Of course, none of that has any bearing with my posts on here or your perceived belief of my actions and demeanor. You got your cheap shot in because you desired to strike a blow to "the new enemy". You are so compassionate. Now that is sarcastic, but deserved.

 

[stealth2]

'Just as expected.
Let me address misinformation about my situation of which is not true (and I do not know how got started).

1. I am not against the mother seeing her kids. I want her/us to have a healthy relationship now and in the future. So I accept some form of visitation for the mother and am open to anything positive - if it can or will be.

2. My wife has been served, also. I thought that was clear in my first post. Did you see this: {Concerning the legal notification, I had to have her sign a "waiver of citation"}.

3. You accuse me of using "rudeness and sarcasm" to every response that I received. Please give me an example. If I came across as stern or spiteful, well, I was just probably returning the treatment that I got or perceived that I got. here is an example: {Realistically you need an attorney. You clearly cannot handle this on your own.} I don't know about you, but that was very demeaning to me. Was that really that person's intent? I do not know, so I never said for sure. Read the following - it was my reply to that person: {I am going to assume that some here are actually here to help and others, not so much. I just do not know about this reply.... Firstly, you seem to talk down to me. Actually, from the words that I used to describe myself, a lot of that was just me being humble and humorous/less(?).}
How was that rude? All that was - was just me being honest.

4. (You wrote this) {Fact is, if you are unwilling to do your own research?} I don't even know if that is a question or a "fact" (in your mind), but it is wrong. I am perfectly willing to do whatever I need to do.

5. I never said that it was rude (of others) to suggest that I see an attorney. I just see it as a "cop out" of giving advice (my opinion!).

6. It had to come, sooner or later....someone had to do it:
{I can't say I blame your wife for taking off, and I pray you relate better with your children.}
You, in effect, have blamed me - my demeanor - for a failed marriage. If you want to strike a blow and misdirect the discussion, stoop down to adolescent behavior.
What is wrong with you?
Was it too hard to resist?
That, my friend, is rude!
You also mentioned my relationship with my kids. People like you have no limits as to how low they will go, huh?

Of course, none of that has any bearing with my posts on here or your perceived belief of my actions and demeanor. You got your cheap shot in because you desired to strike a blow to "the new enemy". You are so compassionate. Now that is sarcastic, but deserved.

Alrighty then.

 

[GlennTX]

Does it really hurt so much to be wrong, stealth guy?

And Almighty!
Hoooah!

I'm glad I could clear it up for a senior member.

 

[stealth2]

And Almighty!

I'm glad I could clear it up for a senior member.

All you cleared up is that you have a very high (an undeserved) opinion of yourself.

 

[LdiJ]

And Almighty!

I'm glad I could clear it up for a senior member.

Glenn,

I am going to offer you a life lesson that you will probably consider to be rude as well....but is an attempt to educate.

I once owned a restaurant and I had a server who was normally a very good server, but sometimes when we were really busy she would get frazzled and as a result, would be rude to customers. She would NEVER apologize for being rude. She would dance around it by saying things like "I didn't realize there was a problem" to the customer, instead of just apologizing for being rude. As a result, I ended up having to apologize for her and ended up comping more meals than I liked. She and I had several discussions on this issue and I simply couldn't make her understand the value of a simple apology.

Finally, one night I instructed her to say to a customer: "I apologize for being rude, its a busy night and I am frazzled and it caused me to be unlike myself". I figured that it was a sincere apology that would allow her to save some face at the same time. She couldn't do it...I fired her on the spot. That same night my 12 year old daughter was at the restaurant with me. When she asked me why I fired the server I explained to her how important it was to learn the value of a sincere apology, and to actually MEAN it when she said it.

The following statement, and several others you have made on this thread were flat out rude:

I guess if I wanted to be sarcastic right back to you, I would say thank you for the "non-advice".

Thanking everyone for there advice was not an apology for being rude. It was dancing around the issue. A more appropriate response would have been: "I did not realize that I was coming across as so incapable, I apologize for being rude". Your children will grow up to be just like you. What lesson do you want them to learn from observing you?

 

[single317dad]

And Almighty!
Hoooah!

I'm glad I could clear it up for a senior member.

Glenn, from my armchair psychiatry position here, I get the sense that you're a very intelligent person, who has trouble in social situations, and probably don't even realize or believe that you're being rude and standoffish. It's common in my line of work, and is a trait that I myself have had to overcome in life. I suggest you try to do the same, for your own sake.

 

[stealth2]

Ooooh, look - he added a Hooah! LOL

Seriously - he reminds me of my ex. Blerg.

 

[Bali Hai]

Glenn, from my armchair psychiatry position here, I get the sense that you're a very intelligent person, who has trouble in social situations, and probably don't even realize or believe that you're being rude and standoffish. It's common in my line of work, and is a trait that I myself have had to overcome in life. I suggest you try to do the same, for your own sake.

I sense that you regress back to that trait from time to time. I suggest more frequent self examinations.

 

[Bali Hai]

Ooooh, look - he added a Hooah! LOL

Seriously - he reminds me of my ex. Blerg.

I noticed you were giving him alot more attention than usual.

 

[ecmst12]

OP, every single response you have posted has been condescending and rude. If you show up with the same attitude in court that you have here, expect to get your butt handed to you by the judge. There is absolutely nothing shameful or insulting about not being able to litigate your own court case - without significant independent research, most human beings would not be able to handle it. The people here who have handled their own cases did it with a lot of work and patience - case research, learning the rules of procedure, observing in the courtroom. You have done none of those things and came on here wanting someone to hold your hand and walk you through every step - and that is not what we do, that is what you pay a lawyer to do for you. If you had come on here already having done some research with a few specific questions, you would have gotten more help. Instead you come here completely clueless, so you got what all the clueless people are told - here are some links you can use to learn the basics, but your current level of knowledge indicates you will be best off hiring a pro. Instead of reading the links and coming back with specific questions about what you read, you were snarky and obnoxious to every single person who tried to help you. Repeatedly. So please, unless you are willing to put in the work to learn on your own before asking more questions, and unless you are willing to undergo a complete attitude adjustment, just go away.

 

[GlennTX]

Where do I start?
I am not going to appologize to anyone in particular. Get over that, I am not serving you (as in the example with the waitress). You are not obligated to serve me either. We are, in a manner, equals. I came here for advice (I had assumed from the name"Free Advice"). Legal advice, not advice to go to a lawyer.
I had to be upfront when I detected the similar speak towards myself.
I'm sure that none of you are held to moral or legal obligations to provide quality answers or replies to anyone's questions.
It's a forum, folks. You are not getting paid (I believe) and I am not paying for this. You can give me garbage information if you choose.
It's ironic that condescending was mentioned. People who could care less about my original post are replying based upon the tone and not the original intent.

My question is this: If this site is called Free Advice (legal), - you expect for visitors here to "do their homework (re: their own cases)" and be willing to do lots of additional work and research - OR - just see a lawyer.
So just what advice have you given to anyone here that was helpful?
Surely you have some examples.

 

[Zigner]

You are not getting paid (I believe) and I am not paying for this.

You're right - go pay somebody to listen.

Good day.

 

[frylover]

At the risk of being accused of being condescending, I would like to point out something many people do not realize. You speak of concern that your children will have to spend time in an "unsafe" environment, and that you are "open to a healthy relationship" between your children and mom. You have not mentioned why you fear for their safety, but please realize that your idea of safe and healthy may not be the same as the legal standard, which is often depressingly low.

 

[LdiJ]

Where do I start?
I am not going to appologize to anyone in particular. Get over that, I am not serving you (as in the example with the waitress). You are not obligated to serve me either. We are, in a manner, equals. I came here for advice (I had assumed from the name"Free Advice"). Legal advice, not advice to go to a lawyer.
I had to be upfront when I detected the similar speak towards myself.
I'm sure that none of you are held to moral or legal obligations to provide quality answers or replies to anyone's questions.
It's a forum, folks. You are not getting paid (I believe) and I am not paying for this. You can give me garbage information if you choose.
It's ironic that condescending was mentioned. People who could care less about my original post are replying based upon the tone and not the original intent.

My question is this: If this site is called Free Advice (legal), - you expect for visitors here to "do their homework (re: their own cases)" and be willing to do lots of additional work and research - OR - just see a lawyer.
So just what advice have you given to anyone here that was helpful?
Surely you have some examples.

You actually believe that one is not obligated to apologize to an equal if they are rude? You honestly believe it makes one subservient to someone to apologize for being rude?