How to restrict access of ncp's girlfriend around daughter.

[ohiograndma]

grandma,

Truly your best course of action would be to get your daughter to accept that unless there is blatant abuse, she really has no business trying to control her ex. It's far worse for your grandaughter to have parents who can't get along than it is for her to see her dad dating.

I most likely will tell her she needs to let it go.

 

[ohiograndma]

Sounds like your responses are about what they should be. Except maybe instead of asking her when she will file for child support, you should ask when she's planning on getting her own place.

Its not an issue. I like having her and the baby living with me. If I don't mind, why should you or anyone else care?

 

[ecmst12]

Of course you do, but it's better for HER to stand on her own feet. But you're right, not my life.

 

[ohiograndma]

Of course you do, but it's better for HER to stand on her own feet. But you're right, not my life.

Perhaps it is. But its not a major concern of mine. She helps me out a lot too around the house, as well as financially.

 

[ohiograndma]

She doesn't have that right.

Well if she has sole custody doesn't she have the right to say who can and can't come around her kid?

Has your daughter introduced him to everyone in her life around whom she takes the child?

She is not asking about "everyone". She prefers he date on his own time and not when he has the baby. As for my daughter's male friend, they were not dating. She had no romantic interest in him at all.

Its just better to let the other person know you are seeing someone rather hear about it from your kid.

She doesn't need the birth certificate or social security number of the child to file. And he doesn't have to give them to her. She can get her own copies.

Yeah, I know. I only mentioned that because she has finally made up her mind to file for support, but this is delaying things slightly.

Your daughter is not queen of the world. Your daughter had a kid with him.

What about it?

 

[LdiJ]

Of course you do, but it's better for HER to stand on her own feet. But you're right, not my life.

I am not saying this to pick on you, but to pick on the whole American concept that unless an adult child lives in their own separate household that they are somehow not an adult and not standing on their own feet. In most of the rest of the world multi-generational households are very much the norm, and its unusual for adult children to not be sharing a home with their parents, and perhaps even their grandparents.

There can be lots of benefits to all parties to share a multi-generational household and I don't think that we have the right to criticize a family that makes that choice on a willing basis.

 

[ohiograndma]

As far as you know, you are wrong. Your daughter apparently just dictates whatever.

I must say, you're awfully hostile.

If I'm wrong, so what? I'm not clear on how that part works. I've heard of parenting plans. Do courts order them during court ordered custody proceedings? I've heard that parenting plans can include things like discussing with the other parent when its okay to introduce a new partner to your kid. Of course you both have to agree to it. Are parenting plans part of the custody proceedings or only if the parents want one?

 

[ohiograndma]

There can be lots of benefits to all parties to share a multi-generational household and I don't think that we have the right to criticize a family that makes that choice on a willing basis.

I agree and I think it is becoming more and more common. Things have changed and we no longer have the job security we once enjoyed in previous generations. I do taxes, and I see people in their 50s coming in that moved back home. Instead of taking care of their parents, their 90 year old parents are claiming them as dependents.

 

[13sierra32]

I understand how it may "seem" okay to make a request such as your daughter's- but it's just not enforceable...I do yard work with my husband regularly- and people driving by would not know at a glance if we are "romantically involved". I think the best course of action is to encourage your daughter to be a strong parent on her own time, worry about what she can control under her roof, and hope that the man she chose as her child's father comes through (hope- not "direct")...it's a tough lesson, but the sooner she learns it, the less turbulent life will be for all parties involved in the future (even live-in grandmas).

 

[mommyanme]

I must say, you're awfully hostile.

I've heard that parenting plans can include things like discussing with the other parent when its okay to introduce a new partner to your kid. Of course you both have to agree to it.

1. You sound more like a hostile 20 some year old. Not being mean but stating my opinion.

2.Nope I've never heard of any parenting plan that says each parent must talk to and agree with the other parent about who what when why and where they date or friends or family, EXCEPT, as you have already been told, the person is deemed to be a danger to the child.

Now think about this in a LOGICAL manner**************Did Mom or Dad have to discuss with anyone if they dated, slept with or had a child with each other? Nope! Why? because.....oh oh here it is...they are A D U L T S, that's why. If mom was so concerned with it, she should have stayed with him, then the issue would be moot.

I don't like that my kid has gone through 8+ women that I've known of and met, but honestly, that's his Dad's game when our child is old enough to realize it and ask questions, not my problem and I have all intentions that if our child asks me, I will say, "not my business baby ask your Dad".

Your daughter needs to let go of the "golden uterus" syndrom and deal with it

 

[>Charlotte<]

Well if she has sole custody doesn't she have the right to say who can and can't come around her kid?

The problem with this question is that you're confusing the concept of "custody" with the concept of "ownership".

 

[ohiograndma]

The problem with this question is that you're confusing the concept of "custody" with the concept of "ownership".

But like others have stated earlier, disallowing your kid to be around anyone you want IS one of the rights of sole custody. Whether she actually should or not is a different story. All in all, its best for my daughter to just get over it IMO.

 

[Proserpina]

But like others have stated earlier, disallowing your kid to be around anyone you want IS one of the rights of sole custody.

Uh...no, no it's not.

Sole custody absolutely does NOT mean you can control who the other parent has around the child.

 

[ohiograndma]

Uh...no, no it's not.

Sole custody absolutely does NOT mean you can control who the other parent has around the child.

Here's what I got off the internet:

In Ohio, when a child is born to parents who are not married, the mother has sole custody of the child. The father has no right to see the child at all until he goes to court to obtain those rights.

http://www.cornwell-law.com/07/ohio-parents-who-are-not-married/

That means she doesn't have to allow the father to see the kid at all, let alone who he wants to bring the kid around. That is actually my daughters situation, but it wouldn't really be a good idea to cut off contact.

 

[Proserpina]

Here's what I got off the internet:

In Ohio, when a child is born to parents who are not married, the mother has sole custody of the child. The father has no right to see the child at all until he goes to court to obtain those rights.

http://www.cornwell-law.com/07/ohio-parents-who-are-not-married/

That means she doesn't have to allow the father to see the kid at all, let alone who he wants to bring the kid around. That is actually my daughters situation, but it wouldn't really be a good idea to cut off contact.

That is NOT what you said.