I could not agree more, CJane. I was so pissed that son did not wind up detained yesterday. My hope was that he would, and perhaps learn a few things. That was also the hope of a therapist who I had evaluate my son the very day he left to dad's on June 20th when he didn't come. She again reiterated it was a lost opportunity to what might have been a come to Jesus moment. I was so hot. Instead of seizing the moment for a lesson, he got rewarded by being at dad's. That therapist also predicts he will wind up in jail at some point. All that to say that I agree, and that I have and will continue to reach out to professionals for his mental needs. That therapist told me today that she believes son is sick.
I ask these things of her and explore what to do so that I don't bury my head in the. Dad, on the other hand again insisted he has "no problems at all" with son. *That was right after I'd enlightened him about some of the lies son has been telling him. It's no wonder you don't have any problems. You do no follow through or verify what son says. If son says it, it's true.
Anyhow, I got a call from the Detective who handles these youth charges. Turns out we're acquainted (worked together last year). He told me TWICE that there was no no-contact order and to go get son. I went there and dad said there was. Had to call police to file report. Cop told dad w/o paperwork if what he said does not turn out to be the truth, the judge won't like it and will likely issue that arrest warrant. Cop told him he will be running it later to find out. He was in the cop's face and all whiny. I thought the cop might cuff him right there.
And I had a talk with son. Basically, if I'd have agreed to give him the phone back (I told him not for three days!), he'd have likely have come home. Dad was pleading his case, too.
So I'll get clarification on the no-contact order tomorrow and go from there.