At Our Witts End...Help?

[ConcernedSmom04]

My husband and I live in Columbia, MO. Recently, we relocated here to be closer to his 2 children from his previous marriage. His previous marriage has been, for lack of a better words, a complete burden on both of us. Being a victim of abuse through my step mother as a child, I welcomed my step children into open and loving arms. His ex however, has given us nothing but trouble. Since our arrival two months ago she has completely revoked any visitation we had with the kids whatsoever even though her and my husband were peaceful, he never abused her or the kids (although she tried to accuse him of spousal abuse behind his back with no evidence), and she even allowed him to have the children for extended periods of time while he was on leave. Now he is home, retiring from the military and also expecting another child and suddenly she has gone against every agreement they made in their divorce decree and stripped us bare with nothing more than a passive aggressive email. Our lawyer has been no help, we've been waiting a full month for him to get a hold of her lawyer to explain to us what classes my husband needs to take because the ones listed in the decree are no longer in existence. It's drived both us into a state of panic because we are concerned the children will begin to think wedo not want to see them, or that they are being replaced by the child I am currently pregnant with. Can anyone give us any pointers as to a plan of action?? A little more information, their decree state that the father will have weekly Skype sessions every Sunday at 6 o clock, and supervised visitations upon 48 hour notice until he completes either the MENS or SONS program. Upon completion of these programs the father will receive 2 days per week alternating weekends and holidays unsupervised visitation. This monster of a woman allowed us to see the children twice both times went fantastic, and has since stripped us completely including the Skype sessions. She has even gone so far as to punish my in laws and refuses to allow them visits with the kids. Please, we are desperate!

 

[TheGeekess]

My husband and I live in Columbia, MO. Recently, we relocated here to be closer to his 2 children from his previous marriage. His previous marriage has been, for lack of a better words, a complete burden on both of us. Being a victim of abuse through my step mother as a child, I welcomed my step children into open and loving arms. His ex however, has given us nothing but trouble. Since our arrival two months ago she has completely revoked any visitation we had with the kids whatsoever even though her and my husband were peaceful, he never abused her or the kids (although she tried to accuse him of spousal abuse behind his back with no evidence), and she even allowed him to have the children for extended periods of time while he was on leave. Now he is home, retiring from the military and also expecting another child and suddenly she has gone against every agreement they made in their divorce decree and stripped us bare with nothing more than a passive aggressive email. Our lawyer has been no help, we've been waiting a full month for him to get a hold of her lawyer to explain to us what classes my husband needs to take because the ones listed in the decree are no longer in existence. It's drived both us into a state of panic because we are concerned the children will begin to think wedo not want to see them, or that they are being replaced by the child I am currently pregnant with. Can anyone give us any pointers as to a plan of action?? A little more information, their decree state that the father will have weekly Skype sessions every Sunday at 6 o clock, and supervised visitations upon 48 hour notice until he completes either the MENS or SONS program. Upon completion of these programs the father will receive 2 days per week alternating weekends and holidays unsupervised visitation. This monster of a woman allowed us to see the children twice both times went fantastic, and has since stripped us completely including the Skype sessions. She has even gone so far as to punish my in laws and refuses to allow them visits with the kids. Please, we are desperate!

Good news! Legally, there is no we. So, you don't have a problem.

 

[ecmst12]

Please have the children's father sign up under his own account to ask questions about his custody situation.

 

[BigMouthWino]

My husband and I live in Columbia, MO. Recently, we relocated here to be closer to his 2 children from his previous marriage. His previous marriage has been, for lack of a better words, a complete burden on both of us. Being a victim of abuse through my step mother as a child, I welcomed my step children into open and loving arms. His ex however, has given us nothing but trouble. Since our arrival two months ago she has completely revoked any visitation we had with the kids whatsoever even though her and my husband were peaceful, he never abused her or the kids (although she tried to accuse him of spousal abuse behind his back with no evidence), and she even allowed him to have the children for extended periods of time while he was on leave. Now he is home, retiring from the military and also expecting another child and suddenly she has gone against every agreement they made in their divorce decree and stripped us bare with nothing more than a passive aggressive email. Our lawyer has been no help, we've been waiting a full month for him to get a hold of her lawyer to explain to us what classes my husband needs to take because the ones listed in the decree are no longer in existence. It's drived both us into a state of panic because we are concerned the children will begin to think wedo not want to see them, or that they are being replaced by the child I am currently pregnant with. Can anyone give us any pointers as to a plan of action?? A little more information, their decree state that the father will have weekly Skype sessions every Sunday at 6 o clock, and supervised visitations upon 48 hour notice until he completes either the MENS or SONS program. Upon completion of these programs the father will receive 2 days per week alternating weekends and holidays unsupervised visitation. This monster of a woman allowed us to see the children twice both times went fantastic, and has since stripped us completely including the Skype sessions. She has even gone so far as to punish my in laws and refuses to allow them visits with the kids. Please, we are desperate!

Please feel free to ignore the posters that imply you have no stake in this. You are the stepparent and, as you no doubt realize, have a very large stake in this matter.

What classes was your husband required to take? Why didn't he take them?

You can file an order to show cause as to why she is not complying with the divorce decree; however, I would get the two questions I above answered first.

 

[Proserpina]

My husband and I live in Columbia, MO. Recently, we relocated here to be closer to his 2 children from his previous marriage. His previous marriage has been, for lack of a better words, a complete burden on both of us. Being a victim of abuse through my step mother as a child, I welcomed my step children into open and loving arms. His ex however, has given us nothing but trouble. Since our arrival two months ago she has completely revoked any visitation we had with the kids whatsoever even though her and my husband were peaceful, he never abused her or the kids (although she tried to accuse him of spousal abuse behind his back with no evidence), and she even allowed him to have the children for extended periods of time while he was on leave. Now he is home, retiring from the military and also expecting another child and suddenly she has gone against every agreement they made in their divorce decree and stripped us bare with nothing more than a passive aggressive email. Our lawyer has been no help, we've been waiting a full month for him to get a hold of her lawyer to explain to us what classes my husband needs to take because the ones listed in the decree are no longer in existence. It's drived both us into a state of panic because we are concerned the children will begin to think wedo not want to see them, or that they are being replaced by the child I am currently pregnant with. Can anyone give us any pointers as to a plan of action?? A little more information, their decree state that the father will have weekly Skype sessions every Sunday at 6 o clock, and supervised visitations upon 48 hour notice until he completes either the MENS or SONS program. Upon completion of these programs the father will receive 2 days per week alternating weekends and holidays unsupervised visitation. This monster of a woman allowed us to see the children twice both times went fantastic, and has since stripped us completely including the Skype sessions. She has even gone so far as to punish my in laws and refuses to allow them visits with the kids. Please, we are desperate!

This is the legal reality for your husband.

Mom - and I don't care WHAT you think of her, that's the appropriate term, not "monster" - is under no obligation whatsoever to allow the grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousin's boyfriend's goldfish or anyone else visitation with the children.

That said, if the order specifically spells out visitation Dad needs to ask that the court finds Mom in contempt. That's his only option. (Assuming he's satisfied the other requirements)

 

[Proserpina]

Please feel free to ignore the posters that imply you have no stake in this. You are the stepparent and, as you no doubt realize, have a very large stake in this matter.

What classes was your husband required to take? Why didn't he take them?

You can file an order to show cause as to why she is not complying with the divorce decree; however, I would get the two questions I above answered first.

Except that you're dead wrong.

OP is not LEGALLY involved and she's not LEGALLY vested in this matter. And she certainly won't be filing anything.

(And before we get the inevitable responses, I'm a stepparent myself. So are many of the posters here)

 

[ConcernedSmom04]

Woah guys

You are right. I apologize for referring to her as a monster. Believe me, my frustrations are kept well hidden from the light of day because in hindsight she is not a bad mother. I do feel she is going about this wrong. My husband is a good man and hates conflicts such as this. He is working to get legal action done and has taken two parentin classes but the only reason e hasn't taken the men's or sons is because they no longer exist! I am on here only as an act of desperation to see if there are any options we haven't considered.

 

[ConcernedSmom04]

And please excuse my typing

I am on my phone.

 

[BigMouthWino]

You are right. I apologize for referring to her as a monster. Believe me, my frustrations are kept well hidden from the light of day because in hindsight she is not a bad mother. I do feel she is going about this wrong. My husband is a good man and hates conflicts such as this. He is working to get legal action done and has taken two parentin classes but the only reason e hasn't taken the men's or sons is because they no longer exist! I am on here only as an act of desperation to see if there are any options we haven't considered.

Why didn't he take the men's and son's class when it was ordered?

This is very important - it makes it look as though your husband views his child as a "son of convenience."

And while you may not have legal standing to bring a claim - you have to live with this situation every day and you have every right to research the remedies available to your husband which will greatly affect YOUR LIFE.

 

[ConcernedSmom04]

In regards to saying I have no matter in this..

You're right, legally this shouldn't matter. I, however, love those children regardless of who carried them in their womb. I would hate to ever know that there was something I could have done to help them have full happy lives my parents beer gave me, and I just didn't act upon it. I would give up everything for them to never feel unwanted again if it made a difference so please don't tell me I shouldn't care.

 

[ConcernedSmom04]

When this decree was written.

It was written before we moved here, therefore was made for when he left the military. He's only been here two months an within the first week he drove to the place the classes were given to register and was told they were no longer in existence. He immediately called his lawyer and we have been waiting on her lawyer ever since. Again, we did this as soon as we got into the area because he is military.

 

[ecmst12]

Please have the legally involved party sign up and ask questions about his situation that does not legally involve you.

 

[ConcernedSmom04]

So in the meantime he has taken two alternate classes of his own accord, even if they didn't count as the MENS or SONS

 

[ConcernedSmom04]

Please explain what difference this would make if this forum is made of non attorney peers?

 

[Proserpina]

You're right, legally this shouldn't matter. I, however, love those children regardless of who carried them in their womb. I would hate to ever know that there was something I could have done to help them have full happy lives my parents beer gave me, and I just didn't act upon it. I would give up everything for them to never feel unwanted again if it made a difference so please don't tell me I shouldn't care.

Of course you care. You'd be pretty awful if you didn't care!