Child Support for Failed Vasectomy

[Carl3789]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

Hi, I had a vasectomy in 2011 and confirmed zero sperm count not long after that. I found out 3 weeks ago that my ex girlfriend is pregnant with my child. I got a sperm count immediately and the Dr told me he's never seen this in 25 years, but that yes, my sperm count is back and no longer zero. My tubes must have reconnected.

I don't have any other children and never wanted them, and am freaking out because despite my responsible efforts to prevent pregnancy, I'm now going to face huge child support payments that I cannot afford. I know little about this process and am interested in learning just how much it will cost me and if there's anything I can do to lower the payments. My ex girlfriend lives with her family and at first they said they wouldn't even need my money, but they've since changed their tune, as I knew they would.

Some more info:

-I'm divorced, employed, and make a decent living (low six figures) in CA. Of course, with the cost of living so high, my disposable income isn't much and I don't live large at all. I've always been fiscally responsible.
-My ex girlfriend is here on an international student visa, still in college, and not yet a US citizen.
-She does not earn an income. She works for the school but her earnings reduce her tuition as opposed to coming in the form of a paycheck.
-She will have 100% custody. Her family will help her raise it while she finishes school. I will have 0% custody and have little to no involvement in the child's life. This is fine with me.
-Her insurance, which her dad pays for, will cover the baby.

Some have advised me to not sign the AOP, but she can always file a paternity suit and then the courts would came after me and force me to take a DNA test. No DNA test has been performed (and can't until the baby is born), but I know the baby is mine. For purposes of this discussion, please just assume that it is mine, because people always question this and it just wastes time discussing it. My vasectomy failed, I have a sperm count, and bad luck happens. It's mine.

I have an attorney who's supposed to call me back, but until then, any advice would be welcome. Because of the circumstances, I have a feeling the courts will make me pay through the roof despite that this was a failed vasectomy and the fact that her family has the financial means to take care of the baby. Thank you.

 

[Zigner]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

Hi, I had a vasectomy in 2011 and confirmed zero sperm count not long after that. I found out 3 weeks ago that my ex girlfriend is pregnant with my child. I got a sperm count immediately and the Dr told me he's never seen this in 25 years, but that yes, my sperm count is back and no longer zero. My tubes must have reconnected.

I don't have any other children and never wanted them, and am freaking out because despite my responsible efforts to prevent pregnancy, I'm now going to face huge child support payments that I cannot afford. I know little about this process and am interested in learning just how much it will cost me and if there's anything I can do to lower the payments. My ex girlfriend lives with her family and at first they said they wouldn't even need my money, but they've since changed their tune, as I knew they would.

Some more info:

-I'm divorced, employed, and make a decent living (low six figures) in CA. Of course, with the cost of living so high, my disposable income isn't much and I don't live large at all. I've always been fiscally responsible.
-My ex girlfriend is here on an international student visa, still in college, and not yet a US citizen.
-She does not earn an income. She works for the school but her earnings reduce her tuition as opposed to coming in the form of a paycheck.
-She will have 100% custody. Her family will help her raise it while she finishes school. I will have 0% custody and have little to no involvement in the child's life. This is fine with me.
-Her insurance, which her dad pays for, will cover the baby.

Some have advised me to not sign the AOP, but she can always file a paternity suit and then the courts would came after me and force me to take a DNA test. No DNA test has been performed (and can't until the baby is born), but I know the baby is mine. For purposes of this discussion, please just assume that it is mine, because people always question this and it just wastes time discussing it. My vasectomy failed, I have a sperm count, and bad luck happens. It's mine.

I have an attorney who's supposed to call me back, but until then, any advice would be welcome. Because of the circumstances, I have a feeling the courts will make me pay through the roof despite that this was a failed vasectomy and the fact that her family has the financial means to take care of the baby. Thank you.

I don't know what you want to get information about. Are you trying to find a way to get out of it because your chosen form of birth control failed? Not gonna happen. Why can't you step up and be a father to the child you (may have) created?

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

Hi, I had a vasectomy in 2011 and confirmed zero sperm count not long after that. I found out 3 weeks ago that my ex girlfriend is pregnant with my child. I got a sperm count immediately and the Dr told me he's never seen this in 25 years, but that yes, my sperm count is back and no longer zero. My tubes must have reconnected.

I don't have any other children and never wanted them, and am freaking out because despite my responsible efforts to prevent pregnancy, I'm now going to face huge child support payments that I cannot afford. I know little about this process and am interested in learning just how much it will cost me and if there's anything I can do to lower the payments. My ex girlfriend lives with her family and at first they said they wouldn't even need my money, but they've since changed their tune, as I knew they would.

Some more info:

-I'm divorced, employed, and make a decent living (low six figures) in CA. Of course, with the cost of living so high, my disposable income isn't much and I don't live large at all. I've always been fiscally responsible.
-My ex girlfriend is here on an international student visa, still in college, and not yet a US citizen.
-She does not earn an income. She works for the school but her earnings reduce her tuition as opposed to coming in the form of a paycheck.
-She will have 100% custody. Her family will help her raise it while she finishes school. I will have 0% custody and have little to no involvement in the child's life. This is fine with me.
-Her insurance, which her dad pays for, will cover the baby.

Some have advised me to not sign the AOP, but she can always file a paternity suit and then the courts would came after me and force me to take a DNA test. No DNA test has been performed (and can't until the baby is born), but I know the baby is mine. For purposes of this discussion, please just assume that it is mine, because people always question this and it just wastes time discussing it. My vasectomy failed, I have a sperm count, and bad luck happens. It's mine.

I have an attorney who's supposed to call me back, but until then, any advice would be welcome. Because of the circumstances, I have a feeling the courts will make me pay through the roof despite that this was a failed vasectomy and the fact that her family has the financial means to take care of the baby. Thank you.

You won't pay "through the roof." Look up the CA guidelines for child support.

I would never take on 18 years of child support for someone else's child: get the DNA done.

 

[justalayman]

. Because of the circumstances, I have a feeling the courts will make me pay through the roof despite that this was a failed vasectomy and the fact that her family has the financial means to take care of the baby. Thank you.

what her family can afford has nothing to do with you supporting your child

your term "through the roof" is subjective but what it will cost, if the mother actually seeks child support, is what the state guidelines require given her income and your income and the amount of time the child spends with each parent.

the failed vasectomy will not factor into the amount of child support

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

Hi, I had a vasectomy in 2011 and confirmed zero sperm count not long after that. I found out 3 weeks ago that my ex girlfriend is pregnant with my child. I got a sperm count immediately and the Dr told me he's never seen this in 25 years, but that yes, my sperm count is back and no longer zero. My tubes must have reconnected.

I don't have any other children and never wanted them, and am freaking out because despite my responsible efforts to prevent pregnancy, I'm now going to face huge child support payments that I cannot afford. I know little about this process and am interested in learning just how much it will cost me and if there's anything I can do to lower the payments. My ex girlfriend lives with her family and at first they said they wouldn't even need my money, but they've since changed their tune, as I knew they would.

What is the percentage of success on a vasectomy?
http://www.uptodate.com/contents/vasectomy-beyond-the-basics
According to that 99%.

Some more info:

-I'm divorced, employed, and make a decent living (low six figures) in CA. Of course, with the cost of living so high, my disposable income isn't much and I don't live large at all. I've always been fiscally responsible.

Okay.

-My ex girlfriend is here on an international student visa, still in college, and not yet a US citizen.
-She does not earn an income. She works for the school but her earnings reduce her tuition as opposed to coming in the form of a paycheck.
-She will have 100% custody. Her family will help her raise it while she finishes school. I will have 0% custody and have little to no involvement in the child's life. This is fine with me.
-Her insurance, which her dad pays for, will cover the baby.

Her dad is responsible for nothing. You are responsible because you had sex and vasectomies are only 99% effective. Nothing but abstinence is 100% effective.

Some have advised me to not sign the AOP, but she can always file a paternity suit and then the courts would came after me and force me to take a DNA test. No DNA test has been performed (and can't until the baby is born), but I know the baby is mine. For purposes of this discussion, please just assume that it is mine, because people always question this and it just wastes time discussing it. My vasectomy failed, I have a sperm count, and bad luck happens. It's mine.

I have an attorney who's supposed to call me back, but until then, any advice would be welcome. Because of the circumstances, I have a feeling the courts will make me pay through the roof despite that this was a failed vasectomy and the fact that her family has the financial means to take care of the baby. Thank you.

You might -- very very very very slim chances -- of having a wrongful birth suit. But if mom wants the child, most likely not. You will pay child support when paternity is established because this is your child. You got the fun so you get the consequences.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

You should also consider that it might not be yours. Even though some find me a bit disagreeable, I have had 2 woman decide I was daddy when the child was not mine. A paternity test is always a good thing.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

Hi, I had a vasectomy in 2011 and confirmed zero sperm count not long after that. I found out 3 weeks ago that my ex girlfriend is pregnant with my child. I got a sperm count immediately and the Dr told me he's never seen this in 25 years, but that yes, my sperm count is back and no longer zero. My tubes must have reconnected.

I don't have any other children and never wanted them, and am freaking out because despite my responsible efforts to prevent pregnancy, I'm now going to face huge child support payments that I cannot afford. I know little about this process and am interested in learning just how much it will cost me and if there's anything I can do to lower the payments. My ex girlfriend lives with her family and at first they said they wouldn't even need my money, but they've since changed their tune, as I knew they would.

Some more info:

-I'm divorced, employed, and make a decent living (low six figures) in CA. Of course, with the cost of living so high, my disposable income isn't much and I don't live large at all. I've always been fiscally responsible.
-My ex girlfriend is here on an international student visa, still in college, and not yet a US citizen.
-She does not earn an income. She works for the school but her earnings reduce her tuition as opposed to coming in the form of a paycheck.
-She will have 100% custody. Her family will help her raise it while she finishes school. I will have 0% custody and have little to no involvement in the child's life. This is fine with me.
-Her insurance, which her dad pays for, will cover the baby.

Some have advised me to not sign the AOP, but she can always file a paternity suit and then the courts would came after me and force me to take a DNA test. No DNA test has been performed (and can't until the baby is born), but I know the baby is mine. For purposes of this discussion, please just assume that it is mine, because people always question this and it just wastes time discussing it. My vasectomy failed, I have a sperm count, and bad luck happens. It's mine.

I have an attorney who's supposed to call me back, but until then, any advice would be welcome. Because of the circumstances, I have a feeling the courts will make me pay through the roof despite that this was a failed vasectomy and the fact that her family has the financial means to take care of the baby. Thank you.

You are a gross excuse of a "man".

 

[TigerD]

You are a gross excuse of a "man".

I disagree. This is a guy that didn't want kids. He undertook extreme measures to ensure he didn't have kids. He was tested to ensure those measures worked. She's pregnant and he still doesn't want kids. She does.

He should have a DNA test done before committing to parentage, but why demean him for not wanting to be a parent? He actually had himself mutilated to prevent this from happening.

DC

 

[Just Blue]

I disagree. This is a guy that didn't want kids. He undertook extreme measures to ensure he didn't have kids. He was tested to ensure those measures worked. She's pregnant and he still doesn't want kids. She does.

He should have a DNA test done before committing to parentage, but why demean him for not wanting to be a parent? He actually had himself mutilated to prevent this from happening.

DC

That is not why I posted my comment.

Why I did so is that he expects others to support the child he may have made due to the fact he "tried" to prevent conception and failed.


Forgive my spelling, grammar and punctuation as i snapped my finger in two and can barly type.

 

[Carl3789]

I disagree. This is a guy that didn't want kids. He undertook extreme measures to ensure he didn't have kids. He was tested to ensure those measures worked. She's pregnant and he still doesn't want kids. She does.

He should have a DNA test done before committing to parentage, but why demean him for not wanting to be a parent? He actually had himself mutilated to prevent this from happening.

DC

Thank you for saying that. I'm not trying to get out of paying child support, as that would be wrong and yes, I assume responsibility for the failed contraception even though the chances are 1 in 4,000. What I'm trying to learn is roughly what I'd be forced to pay and if there's anything I can do to make it more reasonable. The online calculators are complicated, but it's looking like around 30% of my net income, which is ridiculous. I'd have to move to a different city and make an entire lifestyle change, and again keep in mind I'm not a big spender to begin with. I do not have $1,300 extra a month to pay a woman who already told me her family doesn't need the money. I know this won't factor into the court's decision, so I'm hoping there are alternatives such as a custom child support order that she and I come up with that the courts could approve. Or maybe I don't sign the AOP and then just work something out with her without involving the courts. I don't know how the process works of how the courts learn and enforce paternity and if her visa status affects anything at all. I'll consult an attorney but thought I'd come here first to learn as much as possible. The online research I've done doesn't all pertain to this unique case.

Please assume the baby is mine, as stated earlier. Yes, I know women can lie. The baby is mine and any discussion otherwise gets us nowhere.

And yes, I'm looking into legal action against the Dr. There have been plenty of successful suits for guys in my situation, so I know it's possible. But this is a family law thread so I'll leave that part out of it for now. Thank you.

 

[Zigner]

The online research I've done doesn't all pertain to this unique case.

There is nothing unique about your case. Your chosen method of birth control failed. It's not different than if the condom had broken. Furthermore your statement of there being a 1 in 4,000 chance is way off. It's more like 1 in 100.

Please assume the baby is mine, as stated earlier. Yes, I know women can lie. The baby is mine and any discussion otherwise gets us nowhere.

That's fine for the sake of discussion, but please do not actually do this. Get the DNA test.

And yes, I'm looking into legal action against the Dr. There have been plenty of successful suits for guys in my situation, so I know it's possible. But this is a family law thread so I'll leave that part out of it for now. Thank you.

Please point out how many there have been. You have nothing showing that the doctor did anything wrong. What happened to you is a known risk.

 

[TigerD]

That is not why I posted my comment.

Why I did so is that he expects others to support the child he may have made due to the fact he "tried" to prevent conception and failed.


Forgive my spelling, grammar and punctuation as i snapped my finger in two and can barly type.

It is reasonable to want to minimize the impact of an unwanted expense. If someone made me buy a boat I didn't want, I'd try to get it down to the 2-person inflatable at Walmart for $150 instead of $150k blue water cruiser.

I hope for his sake that he isn't the father. The kid's sake too.

DC

PS: $1,300 a month in child support? Try closer to $2,500. And don't forget the increase in insurance.

 

[Carl3789]

Of course I'll get a DNA test, but I already know the answer. That's why it's not relevant right now.

The odds of the vas deferens reconnecting are 1 in 4,000. That data comes from Harvard Medical School. Any other data you see includes men who had sex before reaching the zero sperm count. I waited until mine was zero.

Whether it's a known risk or not, there have been successful malpractice cases for people in this situation. I'm leaving out those details (things my own Dr said and did) because they're also not relevant to this discussion.

 

[Carl3789]

$1,300 a month in child support? Try closer to $2,500. And don't forget the increase in insurance.

The online calculators I played with showed around $1,300 based on my income and other details. I already said that she's covering the insurance (paid by her father).

I know guys in CA who make half a million and pay less than $1,300 and have very little custody. This is why I'm seeking an attorney.

 

[Just Blue]

The online calculators I played with showed around $1,300 based on my income and other details. I already said that she's covering the insurance (paid by her father).

I know guys in CA who make half a million and pay less than $1,300 and have very little custody. This is why I'm seeking an attorney.

^=gross
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