unwed pending court visitation HELP PLEASE

[wieletwarzy]

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I am ok with 60/40 so he gets a great deal of time with her and she also has the stability in one house hold. It is not the best interest for any child to be split 50/50. 50/50 is in my eyes is a selfish thing. To put the child in different schools. Over and over. Be away from friends and family they create bonds with for extended amounts of time. How would you have liked to be thrown back and forth from state to state?. If an adult is stable and stays in one place because of work, or friends or family... why do the exact opposite to a child?

 

[wieletwarzy]

I would have no problem doing 50/50 if he was actually local and she could stay in the same school when she is older. I'd even be willing to do 50/50 at her age now under the same circumstances but in any case he still needs to establish a relationship with her first. What he expects is to just take her for 2 weeks automatically and where we are having issues right now is transportation. No need for me to see anything from his perspective when his perspective is altered and unfair to our child. I don't care what he deems unfair to him... If it is not healthy or fair to our child then there will be issues. But he lives in another state. That's where our differences lay.

 

[Silverplum]

I am ok with 60/40 so he gets a great deal of time with her and she also has the stability in one house hold. It is not the best interest for any child to be split 50/50. 50/50 is in my eyes is a selfish thing. To put the child in different schools. Over and over. Be away from friends and family they create bonds with for extended amounts of time. How would you have liked to be thrown back and forth from state to state?. If an adult is stable and stays in one place because of work, or friends or family... why do the exact opposite to a child?

Then why on earth did YOU you move AWAY from Dad to another state??

You really should read and learn about your issues, instead of spending energy making up scenarios: 50/50 timesharing does not mean 2 separate schools, or 2 states.

 

[wieletwarzy]

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I'm not going to argue with you. If you want to argue go to a different site. Thank you

 

[Ohiogal]

I am ok with 60/40 so he gets a great deal of time with her and she also has the stability in one house hold. It is not the best interest for any child to be split 50/50. 50/50 is in my eyes is a selfish thing. To put the child in different schools. Over and over. Be away from friends and family they create bonds with for extended amounts of time. How would you have liked to be thrown back and forth from state to state?. If an adult is stable and stays in one place because of work, or friends or family... why do the exact opposite to a child?

FOR ANY CHILD? REALLY? Okay, God. Good to know you walk the earth and KNOW everything. It may not be the best for YOUR child but that doesn't mean it doesn't work for any child. The golden uterus exists and you have it. Since you know about every child and what is best, WHY are you here? Oh yeah, because you have to convince a judge what is best. Which means you aren't God. You are just a misguided individual.

 

[Ohiogal]

I'm not going to argue with you. If you want to argue go to a different site. Thank you

Well you know what is best for EVERY child. You know how it WORKS FOR EVERY ONE. Why don't move on since you apparently don't have any issues and are just here to have people applaud you. Silver has been here for a long time. You are a rather egotistical newbie.

 

[wieletwarzy]

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Between you ohiogal and silverplumb, I wonder if you both troll this site seeking conflict. Do you both even work for a living or just sit at home behind a screen because no one wants to put up with you in real life. You know there is a psychological understanding with statistics to back it, that those who bully others are actually bullied themselves. Actions speak louder than words.

 

[wieletwarzy]

generous reply

But never the less I'm not going to partake in your little escapade.

 

[Ohiogal]

Between you ohiogal and silverplumb, I wonder if you both troll this site seeking conflict. Do you both even work for a living or just sit at home behind a screen because no one wants to put up with you in real life. You know there is a psychological understanding with statistics to back it, that those who bully others are actually bullied themselves. Actions speak louder than words.

I am an attorney. YOU are a jerk. You have determined what is best for every child without even knowing every child. But continue on with spouting off. If you would have said, 50/50 is not good for your child that would have been one thing. I have also seen studies that state that 50/50 works great for some children. Oh but those children don't matter. Statistics can say anything you want them to say. I know of many children that have thrived in 50/50 plans. I know some that haven't. But how dare you state it is SELFISH of any parent to want 50/50 time. Maybe the selfish parents are the ones who leave the state to put distance between the child and parent and then want to control everything. Maybe the selfish ones are those who have children outside of wedlock. Maybe the selfish ones .. see I can say who is selfish and who isn't. Make broad strokes. The funny thing is -- the selfish parents are the ones who without good cause want to disrupt a relationship between a parent and their child.

But continue on. You have no credibility and you have no clue about the law. Would you be satisfied with dad getting 60 time to your 40? Oh no? Then maybe you are selfish for that.

 

[Ohiogal]

But never the less I'm not going to partake in your little escapade.

Generous reply? Oh you have ego. GENEROUS? You are not going to partake even as you do. Funny.

 

[stealth2]

I'm not going to argue with you. If you want to argue go to a different site. Thank you

Well, no - you don't get to dictate that. You are free to see advice elsewhere, if you don't like the responses here. Sorry.

And 50/50 does not mean different schools - that you think it does means you have not spent time educating yourself on the topic. Perhaps you should do so before heading to court or posting further replies/questions. Here or elsewhere.

 

[Silverplum]

Between you ohiogal and silverplumb, I wonder if you both troll this site seeking conflict. Do you both even work for a living or just sit at home behind a screen because no one wants to put up with you in real life. You know there is a psychological understanding with statistics to back it, that those who bully others are actually bullied themselves. Actions speak louder than words.

It's a pity you are too wrapped up in yourself to read good advice.

Run to court with your current, unchanged attitude. Please.

 

[Silverplum]

Ran away?

Moved to another state while pregnant, thus creating the problems she whines about here, and the split situation she finds ever-so deplorable.

Not the same as serving in the military.

 

[Proserpina]

Well, that was hard to predict. Completely unexpected.

Y'all owe me some Starbucks.

 

[Isis1]

Well, that was hard to predict. Completely unexpected.

Y'all owe me some Starbucks.

i'll take a peppermint mocha on ice!


OP, despite the party line of "noooooo, you are a coward for not doing things the way i say because i've been on this forum for years", there are a few knowledgeable people that don't consider it as running away. and yup, some of those people are court officials. like judges. so let that slide off your back.

you live in a different state as dad. that's a fact. so let's work with the facts.

living in a different state...a 50/50 timeshare isn't going to happen unless you and dad can make it work.

offer supervised visits to start. in the child's community. once a month....every two weeks. work the way up to a weekend. think of in one year time he'll be at a one weekend a month, every other holiday or half of each holiday and anytime dad is in town he can contact you 72 hours in advance for extra time. skyping, phone calls and generous summertime. anytime you decide to move in dad's direction, or dad moves closer to the child the parenting share plan can be revisited for an increase.