unwed pending court visitation HELP PLEASE

[Silverplum]

Will the judge take in consideration that my car is unreliable? If my car breaks down, I can't get back and forth to work, and wouldn't be able to provide for my children. I will do what I can to get another one but for the time being could I ask that he pay for transportation if I am willing to pitch in?

Not to my knowledge.

 

[Silverplum]

Is it possible that I could fight for sole custody and be the one that decides when and where the visits take place just because of my schedule? This new job I will be working 4 10 hr shifts. Off for 3. But my oldest daughter is in mma classes and soccer. Would the judge make me limit things in my oldests life just so he can visit with our baby?

Good grief.

*washes hands*

 

[wieletwarzy]

well I'm new to this

Sorry if my questions seem stupid. But I have never gone thru court. I've heard of some pretty ugly cases out there and can only assume the worst. Especially when I hear the tactics played by attorneys and fathers.

 

[wieletwarzy]

skype

And even tho skyping may not be fun but our baby will get more familiar with his voice and face so he doesn't seem that much of a stranger when the visits do take place. Think of those over seas. Face recognition is a very important thing. At least that's what I think. And she is 13mo old. She had fun interacting thru skype with her aunts and cousins

 

[Proserpina]

And even tho skyping may not be fun but our baby will get more familiar with his voice and face so he doesn't seem that much of a stranger when the visits do take place. Think of those over seas. Face recognition is a very important thing. At least that's what I think. And she is 13mo old. She had fun interacting thru skype with her aunts and cousins

I have no idea why you seem to have offended Silverplum, and frankly I don't care. What you need is info.


Since the child was born in Nevada, Dad would ordinarily be the one who had to travel for visits. If you do - for whatever reason - agree to split the travel, the court may well take into consideration your lack of reliable vehicle. The court won't expect a magic carpet to turn up on demand.

Skype can be a neat way even for little ones to see the other parent. No, they're not going to have deep discussions about Carl Sagan, but Dad seeing the little one babble on will be good for BOTH of them. I happen to agree that face recognition is very important and unfortunately so few people here mention it.

I like that you did.

In fact, it seems pretty obvious that you're actually trying to make things work and that's again unfortunately not too common here. Keep at it

Edit: Ooops. It's already been filed - I took out those parts. Carry on

 

[stealth2]

I'm going to ditto Pro's post. Even though your child is young, Skype can be an excellent tool for both Dad and kiddo to become more familiar with one another. You may want to remind Dad that the purpose of the supervised visitation is to allow the two of them to get to know and get more comfortable with each other. Skype will aid that process, and move things along to unsupervised visitation more quickly.

I will say that there is no reason that I see why your oldest's activities need to limit Dad's time with the little one - even while supervised. LO is not so very young that Dad couldn't spend time while the older one is playing soccer or doimg martial arts. In fact, the former is an ideal opportunity for Dad to chase a ball around with LO, or just run around together. Added benefit is you can focus on the older's game/practice w/o the distraction of a toddler.

 

[wieletwarzy]

reply

Thank you all for your input. Greatly appreciated. I do agree. He says he wants to visit her unsupervised so I don't understand why he wouldn't skype while in CA waiting for the next visit. I know exactly what's going on here. He has resentments against me for what ever reason. He just wants to be a di**. And that is fine. Sometimes I let him get in my head but not anymore. I am confident things will pan out in the best interest of our daughter. I have meticulously started a portfolio of every interaction we, and him and our baby have had. I will bring up to the judge how difficult it has been to work things out with him. I have many artifacts to defend myself and also things to use against him (if need be). I'd hate for him to make himself look bad in front of the judge but regardless I'm not doing anything inspite. I am doing what I know is the best for our child. I wish he could see it from my perspective. I will be asking more questions on here as the court process moves forward. Thank you all again.

 

[Ohiogal]

Thank you all for your input. Greatly appreciated. I do agree. He says he wants to visit her unsupervised so I don't understand why he wouldn't skype while in CA waiting for the next visit. I know exactly what's going on here. He has resentments against me for what ever reason. He just wants to be a di**. And that is fine. Sometimes I let him get in my head but not anymore. I am confident things will pan out in the best interest of our daughter. I have meticulously started a portfolio of every interaction we, and him and our baby have had. I will bring up to the judge how difficult it has been to work things out with him. I have many artifacts to defend myself and also things to use against him (if need be). I'd hate for him to make himself look bad in front of the judge but regardless I'm not doing anything inspite. I am doing what I know is the best for our child. I wish he could see it from my perspective. I will be asking more questions on here as the court process moves forward. Thank you all again.

Quite frankly, he wants to be a dad. You refer to him as the above and others could easily refer to you in unflattering terms. Have you tried seeing it from HIS perspective? You seem to have resentments against him as well. And that journal does NOT have EVERY interaction, "we, and him and our baby have had" -- not to the point that it will matter legally.

 

[stealth2]

At the end of the day, neither your perspective nor his are actually "the truth". That's somewhere in between. So be aware that most - including the judge - will take much with a grain of salt. I would still try to talk to him.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

My son works overseas. His wife was fabulous about including him with their son. There was a "daddy" ring for the phone that my grandchild learned quickly. The interactions with my grandson were small in the beginning but have grown as he grew. They were able to facetime - skype, same deal. In this case, it's where BOTH parents have to put on their big person panties and get past their resentment and feelings of "mine, mine, mine" and do what is best for the child to know both parents.

With young children, frequent visits is best, but obviously, not feasible here. It wasn't with my son either. When dad is home, it's like he's never been gone since he "talks" to dad nearly every day.

For exchange, I suggest a notebook that goes with the child so you talk about likes/ dislikes/ schedules/ etc.

I would ask for initial visits to take place in Nevada since that is where the child lives. Can you find and inexpensive place for dad to stay where he can easily visit the child without breaking the bank? Ditto if you make a road trip to California.

 

[Isis1]

Skype with an infant? Not impressive or fun.

Skype is how ALOT of our revered military personnel spend time with their family while they are out protecting our country. which makes this feature of communication awesome.

so yes, OP, absolutely keep skype as a part of the process for dad/child time.

 

[Zigner]

I find it interesting that OP is ok with a 60/40 time-share, but declares NO WAY to a 50/50.

 

[Silverplum]

Skype is how ALOT of our revered military personnel spend time with their family while they are out protecting our country. which makes this feature of communication awesome.

so yes, OP, absolutely keep skype as a part of the process for dad/child time.

Sure, this woman, who ran away, is exactly like our "revered" military serving overseas. Obviously.

Skype on.

 

[Zigner]

Sure, this woman, who ran away, is exactly like our "revered" military serving overseas. Obviously.

Skype on.

Ran away?

 

[Isis1]

Sure, this woman, who ran away, is exactly like our "revered" military serving overseas. Obviously.

Skype on.

i referring to the father/child relationship. you know? best interest of the child? if it's a tool for our wonderful military (no sarcastic quotes), why wouldn't it be good enough for a child?