I AM their mother.

[ajkroy]

I


Youre hilarious. Assume all you want.
Ive never lived off the government a day in my adult life. My work background is amazing. Certified in some medical, and animal behavior and training. I can cook anything from around the world, to remodeling whatever fancy house you live in.

Youre not giving advice. Youre judging and bashing. Get a life. One that doesnt victimize a victim even more. In fact ill save a seat for you next my HUSBAND in court. Go talk to people you can actually relate to and help. Not bash!

I said you were likely on state aid. Do you have medicaid for your pregnancy?

 

[ajkroy]

Actually, the problem is that she *does* have a husband. Who she met while pregnant with her first child, and married before the child was born. And she's in NY with her lover, while her husband is in TN with her 2 daughters, both OP and her husband have taken on new lovers, OP is pregnant with a love child and husband's lover is expecting as well.

"Fools Rush In" comes to mind...

OP has said nothing about divorce.

Nothing.

I think it's about time she starts thinking about it.

Good point. I should have said that she doesn't have an intact marriage or a husband to help support her.

 

[LdiJ]

You do not have a job, you do not have a car, you do not have a husband. Yet, you chose to be pregnant. I understand that *this* situation is an upgrade in your life, but you are not a productive member of society. And since you are likely on state aid, you are actually draining from society. You are even here asking for ways to get the custodial parent of your children to help *you* financially, when you should be the one paying HIM.

You're right. I do make "fat money" now. But I was a single mom for years, and did not receive child support. I went to school full-time while I worked full-time. I would never sit around for months and beg other people to support me. And I certainly wouldn't upset my kids' lives after their other parent stepped up and did it all without any help from me.

I realize that someone else "liked" this post, but I personally found it very offensive. You stereotyped this OP in a very offensive way that I do not believe was called for.

 

[ajkroy]

It wasn't my intent to offend you, so I apologize.

I find the OP offensive.

 

[stealth2]

This thread is beginning to reach unproductive status.

 

[Ohiogal]

This thread is beginning to reach unproductive status.

Well OP is still producing.

 

[CTU]

I cant afford a lawyer, and im not trying financially screw over my ex. But, cuz were still legally married... Doesnt that give some leverage on getting help from him? I hate even mentioning that. But my boyfriend and I just got our own place... And I just have no idea what im doing or where to begin. And i feel like everyday that slips by Im making it worse for me and my fight...

"Leverage"?

I wouldn't do that to him. Not because I "commited a crime" but cause I'm not one to use my kids as a weapon.

That's exactly what you're trying to do.

Your priority is clearly not the children you left with their father. Your priority is you.

 

[not2cleverRed]

I cant afford a lawyer, and im not trying financially screw over my ex. But, cuz were still legally married... Doesnt that give some leverage on getting help from him? I hate even mentioning that. But my boyfriend and I just got our own place... And I just have no idea what im doing or where to begin. And i feel like everyday that slips by Im making it worse for me and my fight...

No, it rather does the opposite, since the kids are with him, not you, and you haven't been supporting them. So actually, he is going to appear to be aggrieved one.

And yes, it is very clear that you don't know what you're doing.

 

[AshlynM9093]

I

What you are saying, "I'm a good mom!" and "I just WANT them!" are both all about you. From just the little bit you've told us, whether you are a good mom or not is somewhat questionable. You certainly do not sound like you've at any time put your girls needs anywhere above your own wants and what seemed easier at the time, not to mention reproducing with another new dad and giving yourself another huge responsibility when you aren't able to support that new child any more successfully than you have been supporting your other two children. They can very easily figure out what your priorities are.

If I were their father, I'd be frantic in my efforts trying to get them back with the parent who at least has car, money, place to live, you know, a few of the basics for successful parenting. You flew the coop because your ex's family was harassing you, possibly noticing what a poor parent you were, questioning that?

Any court in the land will see the custody thing this way. Your daughters need parents who can take care of them in all ways. They need someone who makes them a priority. Not someone who flew away on a whim, has just a new boyfriend with a baby due in June. And there's a very good possibility that this relationship won't be the replacement for a more successful life that you need to be working on to retain custody of your two older girls. If you want custody, get an attorney, which means, of course that you'd need to have this new baby, get a stable place to live, some form of supporting yourself and these children, and a way to show the courts you COULD be a good mother.

i agree with this completely, I’m sorry. I don’t give a dang HOW much my husbands family “doesn’t like me” I would NEVER EVER EVER move that far away from my kids. You straight up proved that your problems with them meant more than your relationship with your own kids. Who CARES if they don’t like you?? Are you planning on moving in with them? No. Then why does it matter? They don’t matter! Your kids are what matters! You say you aren’t financially stable, but Tennessee should be a better option just because of the fact that the cost of living is not nearly as high as New York and you would have a better chance at getting on your feet. And also, Why would you make the decision to move as far away as Arkansas in the first place? That is crazy. And then when you got kicked out, you just randomly chose New York? Like, what are you doing?? You could get an attorney and go to court but I wouldn’t bet on the judge being in your side or ruling in your favor. I’m not saying it’s bad to be poor or to struggle, but Just reading what YOU just said about yourself, I see exactly what the judge is going to see more than likely. You are horrible at making decisions, you can’t financially support yourself or them. You Randomly move from state to state. Your oldest daughter hates you, probably because she feels abandoned, Just like I would feel if I was young and in your daughters place. You are about to bring another child into this world, when you don’t even get to see your other two kids. You refuse to move back to Tennessee where your kids are because of someone else’s “opinion” of you. I’m sorry to say but your priorities as a mother are highly questionable and you seem too unstable to win a case against your ex husband. He has every right to have the concerns that he does.