Is this against the law?

[PayrollHRGuy]

A few months ago, she took the kids on a play date with another man and his 2 kids. I didnt know about it until one of my daughters accidentally let it lip out when i asked what they did over the weekend, lol. He wasnt a boyfriend though. They were interested in each other/had an attraction, but were not boyfriend/girlfriend. That was actually the first time my girls seen or heard of the guy. I was a bit upset about that. My current girlfriend has NOT yet been around my daughters. Only spoke to her on the phone and video chats via THEIR requests. I do feel its a bit different because they are getting to know her before actually meeting her in person. I told their mother about her as well and let her know that she(my gf) will be around, so i want the girls to get used to her.

Your wife seems capable of controlling her libido at this time. Maybe you should as well. For the sake of the children and an amicable divorce/custody agreement. If you get your wife lit up over this it isn't unheard of for judges to put limitations into custody agreements on what outside parties can be around the children.

 

[gettingtired45]

To be quite candid, I am a little biased against you, but only because you are insisting on talking to your girlfriend while in mom's home. I would be equally biased against mom if she were talking to her boyfriend while in your home.

I understand. I wouldnt know and im not going to ask the girls. But if she were, i respect her judgement. Especially if shes serious with the guy.

Plus, I think that your current arrangement is a wonderful one for the children, they get to see both of their parents nearly every day and THEY do not have to travel to do so. I think that you are on the verge of messing up a great thing for your children, just because you cannot be respectful enough not to talk to your girlfriend during the few hours a day you are in mom's home.

My ex and I had a somewhat similar arrangement to yours when our daughter was small, and he would have never dreamed of talking to his new girlfriend while he was in my home. He would have considered that to be horribly bad manners.

I agree. It is. Its drainig as hell on me, but i suck it up. I just feel that shes trying to control everything as usual. Its been months. My girls have not physically been around this woman. Have not had convos in private with her. They actually like her and ask for her, and their mother cant stand it. Its is a few hours im there, but also remember i work nights and my gf doesnt. We try to get in the time when we can. Usually ill get the "Daddy. cant we speak to...?" Then ill say "After we do what we have to do". I dont tell them no. Believe me, im soaking everything youre saying and i appreciate it.

 

[gettingtired45]

You are legally married to the mother of your children. The fact that you are not only dating someone else but have them chat with your children will be seen no better by the court than it has been here.

I get it. And id correct them as ive done you.

 

[gettingtired45]

Thank you all for your comments. Much appreciated.

 

[Just Blue]

I get it. And id correct them as ive done you.

You would "correct" a Judge? Really?

 

[gettingtired45]

You would "correct" a Judge? Really?

Sure, if they made statements implying something they knew nothing about.

 

[stealth2]

I'll be honest - I'd be more than a bit peeved if my stbx chose to "bring" his g/f into my home. And yes, that is exactly what you are doing, even though it is not physically. I'd let him choose being with the kids after school in my home w/o the g/f chats, being with the kids after school elsewhere but returning them at a reasonable time or the kids go to aftercare. If there wasn't a parenting time order pending the divorce, I'd file for one.

 

[stealth2]

Something else to b ear in mind - you are setting the tone for your future co-parenting relationship with your wife. This is unlikely to keep things amicable.

 

[LdiJ]

I would also like to make another point. Your relationship with this woman is new. What happens if your children get attached to her and then the two of you break up? Will that have been fair to your children? That is another reason why you don't involve your children in new relationships. You wait until you are sure that you are in a long term relationship that is actually going somewhere before you get your children involved.

 

[cbg]

Okay, let's just cut to the chase here. I haven't finished the thread so I apologize if this has been covered by now. It had not been, at least not effectively, by the time I lost my patience.

Is anyone violating any laws? No. No one is violating any laws. Not you, not Mom, not your girlfriend.

Can Mom legally request that you not talk to your girlfriend while you are in her home? Yes. Mom can legally request that. And if you refuse, Mom can get a court order that prohibits you from talking to your girlfriend, or allowing your girlfriend to talk to the children, when you are in her home. Such an order would be legal and can be enforced.

Yes. I understand that the children know her and like her and want to talk to her. That does not change my answer above.

Are we quite clear now?

 

[t74]

I think you and mom should consider having the girls in an after school program rather than create problems in your coparenting which is occurring with your current arrangement since both of you are being stubborn.

And, finish with the divorce,

 

[gettingtired45]

Something else to b ear in mind - you are setting the tone for your future co-parenting relationship with your wife. This is unlikely to keep things amicable.

We've been co-parenting fine for almost 3 years now, but i see what youre saying.

 

[gettingtired45]

Okay, let's just cut to the chase here. I haven't finished the thread so I apologize if this has been covered by now. It had not been, at least not effectively, by the time I lost my patience.

Is anyone violating any laws? No. No one is violating any laws. Not you, not Mom, not your girlfriend.

Can Mom legally request that you not talk to your girlfriend while you are in her home? Yes. Mom can legally request that. And if you refuse, Mom can get a court order that prohibits you from talking to your girlfriend, or allowing your girlfriend to talk to the children, when you are in her home. Such an order would be legal and can be enforced.

Yes. I understand that the children know her and like her and want to talk to her. That does not change my answer above.

Are we quite clear now?

I got it. Clear.

 

[LdiJ]

I think you and mom should consider having the girls in an after school program rather than create problems in your coparenting which is occurring with your current arrangement since both of you are being stubborn.

And, finish with the divorce,

That would not be in the best interest of the children because they would hardly get to see dad since he works nights. Mom is not being stubborn, dad is being both disrespectful AND stubborn. This is a divorce situation. Its just not nice what dad is doing.

 

[gettingtired45]

I think you and mom should consider having the girls in an after school program rather than create problems in your coparenting which is occurring with your current arrangement since both of you are being stubborn.

And, finish with the divorce,

I will consider that if need be. TY.