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Custody

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LdiJ

Senior Member
No I'm sorry you misunderstood. There is NO order placed for visitation at all. They my ex and son can decide on their own when to visit each other. I am not part of it at all. It is in the court order. And I have a very open and peaceful parenting in our home. I have a 23 year old son and my foster son is 14. I don't think that they would allow a foster child to live with a single mother if they thought my parenting skills weren't up to par. They also ask me to help them with the parenting classes at the foster agency. My 15 year old is a self directed learner and an entrepreneur. He is very well rounded as is my 23 year old music composer. I am truly sorry you feel that my parenting skills are not to your satisfaction. But the father of my child has not been a part of our child's life since he was a baby. And now that I had taken him to court for support is the time you want to see your son and take him away from the only parent that has ever been there for him? It's okay you are entitled to your opinion. Have a blessed day.
I think that we are still not quite understanding what is written in the court order because you are paraphrasing it instead of telling us exacting what the order says about visitation. Could you please give us more clarity about exactly what the order says?
 


Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
While logic would think that would be correct one has to wonder why it wasn't ordered November 2018.
I suspect that one side proposed it, the other side agreed to it, and the court sanctioned it. The change would be that the one side is failing to comply with the spirit of the order, specifically that visitation be ongoing and consistent.
 

PayrollHRGuy

Senior Member
I suspect that one side proposed it, the other side agreed to it, and the court sanctioned it. The change would be that the one side is failing to comply with the spirit of the order, specifically that visitation be ongoing and consistent.
What I don't think happened is the court told the father and the kid to work it out between themselves. If that happened the OP isn't on the hook for squat.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
Honestly, because I think they saw the truth of the matter and realized that you cannot force another human being of any age to accept a relationship with someone you do not feel comfortable with? I wouldn't want someone to force me to have a relationship with anyone that I don't want to. Children are smart and teens even smarter, they what is and what isn't good for them.
You are so very wrong. Children/teens seldom know what is good for them.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
What I don't think happened is the court told the father and the kid to work it out between themselves. If that happened the OP isn't on the hook for squat.
I don't think that's what happened either. But, even if it did, the court isn't going to be happy with a CP who let's kiddo refuse to visit dad after they were ordered to work out visits. The court isn't going to punish the kid. The court may not "punish" mom, but she may get a tongue lashing before the order is modified so that this nonsense doesn't continue.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
What I don't think happened is the court told the father and the kid to work it out between themselves. If that happened the OP isn't on the hook for squat.
Over the years, on forums like these, I have seen many examples of judges who left visitation between the children and the non custodial parent when the non custodial parent has been absent from their lives for a long time. So, yes, it not unheard of for a judge to kind of leave control in the hands of the teenage child. Its neither common nor normal, but its not unheard of. I have even seen a couple of examples of where a judge decided that it would be too disruptive to the child's life to force a relationship with a biological parent who tried to enter a teens life.
 

momof3nji

Member
I think that we are still not quite understanding what is written in the court order because you are paraphrasing it instead of telling us exacting what the order says about visitation. Could you please give us more clarity about exactly what the order says?
Exact quote from court papers: the father shall have visitation with the child that he and the child mutually agree upon.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Exact quote from court papers: the father shall have visitation with the child that he and the child mutually agree upon.
Ok, then you are in no way dishonoring the court orders. You really are out of it as long as you are not actively discouraging your child from spending time with dad. That kind of order is not unheard of. It's rare but not unheard of.
 

momof3nji

Member
Over the years, on forums like these, I have seen many examples of judges who left visitation between the children and the non custodial parent when the non custodial parent has been absent from their lives for a long time. So, yes, it not unheard of for a judge to kind of leave control in the hands of the teenage child. Its neither common nor normal, but its not unheard of. I have even seen a couple of examples of where a judge decided that it would be too disruptive to the child's life to force a relationship with a biological parent who tried to enter a teens life.
Thank you for this! I have always encouraged my son. Even though it may not be best but he would have to figure that out on his own without anyone’s influence. I would tell him when it’s his dads bday and he would respond I don’t know that guy nor do I want to and where has he been on my birthday. So what was I supposed to do but leave it alone. I can’t make excuses for the father can I?
 

momof3nji

Member
My parents hated my first wife from the moment they met her, but I sure knew that she was good for me.

My parents were very wise...
Same with my mom with my sons father. We never listen and learn the hard way and end up in these situations unfortunately.
 

momof3nji

Member
I think that we are still not quite understanding what is written in the court order because you are paraphrasing it instead of telling us exacting what the order says about visitation. Could you please give us more clarity about exactly what the order says?
Did you read what I posted what is said in the papers?
 

momof3nji

Member
I suspect that one side proposed it, the other side agreed to it, and the court sanctioned it. The change would be that the one side is failing to comply with the spirit of the order, specifically that visitation be ongoing and consistent.
I think they felt that he had been absent for so long that they didn’t want to disrupt him and force it on him. His law guardian had in depth conversations with my son, he told me how impressed he was with my son and how mature he is. Proud mom moment. He does not hold back his feelings and speaks his mind to the fullest!
 

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