Does a Custody Evaluation expire?

[_HappyDad_]

Yes, I have an attorney, and we will be heard in Court.

 

[_HappyDad_]

Update:

The child support issue was settled amongst parties during the hearing. It was agreed I was not in arrears. EX did plenty of lying during this hearing, starting with denying she was the one who filed with CSE in the first place. (The CSE worker told me my EX was in her office the day before I came in to sort things out in September). The Judge took a quick break to grab our case file, and encouraged our attorneys to talk to each other in the back of the courtroom.

When the Judge came back, this is when OC changed his tune and quickly understood the Child Support issue was a clerical mistake. I think this kept his client from having to pay my legal fees.

When they started in on their counter motion, which the Judge did not have a copy of, things got a iittle weird. They stated I blocked my EX's access to D3's medical records. My EX went on about how I convinced hospital staff to deny access to records. My attorney grilled the EX pretty hard about having any proof, which none was present. However, the Judge found he EX credible. No contempt was awarded, however. The same thing happened when the EX accused me of blocking access to our D3's daycare.

I was found in contempt for enrolling D3 without first "discussing" it with EX. I was ordered to pay half of EX's legal fees. In the past, EX has enrolled D3 into many activities, including "pre-school" where I flat out said I did not agree to such. No contempt was ever enforced on the EX. I did find it interesting that my attorney did not try to challenge their contempt filing during the hearing. My attorney assured me before hand that I was not in contempt for the day care enrollment. I think maybe my attorney and OC worked out a deal swapping the child support and child care contempt during their little conference while the Judge stepped away.

The EX was OVERRULED on her request that I notify if I take D3 more than 50 miles out of the area. The EX was also OVERRULED in her request that I have to use her step-mother as my child care provider.

The EX agreed during the hearing to switch from a 2-2-3 plan to a 2-2-5 plan. My attorney did great job of getting that accomplished on cross-exam.

 

[_HappyDad_]

How does being found in contempt effect possible proceedings in the future? Do I have a smudge on my name now? I will pay the purge, of course.

 

[LdiJ]

How does being found in contempt effect possible proceedings in the future? Do I have a smudge on my name now? I will pay the purge, of course.

Your attorney is familiar with the judge and would be a better person to answer that question. It really all depends on the judge.

 

[_HappyDad_]

According to my attorney, paying the purge makes it so that it never happened.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Thank you for your update.

In the future back up everything substantive that occurs in some medium that is admissible in court, if you haven't already.

 

[_HappyDad_]

Thank you for your update.

In the future back up everything substantive that occurs in some medium that is admissible in court, if you haven't already.

I have a large Trial binder. I have everything documented. All communications are done via email (and now OFW). It's frustrating because I have proof of everything, but my attorney doesn't use any of the info. I understand that the Judge isn't going to read through hundreds of emails, but I always have documentation to prove my EX is lying.

For example, the EX said I blocked access to medical records for D3. While my attorney did a great job of making my EX say she had no proof of this, even making her admit out loud she had no proof at all, the Judge "found her testimony credible". Meanwhile, I had an email where I asked my EX what medical records she was seeking, so that I could give them to her, even though I had given her every medical record I had. She did not respond to that email. My attorney had that printed email sitting right in front of him in his file.

I have several communications like that where it's clear she is lying. Very frustrating.

I do not waste my time in Court trashing her. I only bring up the few things I can prove.

Overall, I have gotten everything I wanted-- 50/50 parenting time, Joint legal, 2-2-5 parenting plan. Each time we go to court I get something else I want. It's too bad that that trying to be fair has to be such hard work.

 

[LdiJ]

I have a large Trial binder. I have everything documented. All communications are done via email (and now OFW). It's frustrating because I have proof of everything, but my attorney doesn't use any of the info. I understand that the Judge isn't going to read through hundreds of emails, but I always have documentation to prove my EX is lying.

For example, the EX said I blocked access to medical records for D3. While my attorney did a great job of making my EX say she had no proof of this, even making her admit out loud she had no proof at all, the Judge "found her testimony credible". Meanwhile, I had an email where I asked my EX what medical records she was seeking, so that I could give them to her, even though I had given her every medical record I had. She did not respond to that email. My attorney had that printed email sitting right in front of him in his file.

I have several communications like that where it's clear she is lying. Very frustrating.

I do not waste my time in Court trashing her. I only bring up the few things I can prove.

Overall, I have gotten everything I wanted-- 50/50 parenting time, Joint legal, 2-2-5 parenting plan. Each time we go to court I get something else I want. It's too bad that that trying to be fair has to be such hard work.

You may find that as the children get older an every other week 50/50 plan could work better for them than the 2-2-5 schedule. It allows them to settle into one place at a time for a week and that can be easier for school aged children. A mid week dinner for the other parent could be added if the children need that.

 

[_HappyDad_]

You may find that as the children get older an every other week 50/50 plan could work better for them than the 2-2-5 schedule. It allows them to settle into one place at a time for a week and that can be easier for school aged children. A mid week dinner for the other parent could be added if the children need that.

I agree with the benefits of the 7/7 plan. However, my EX will disagree with anything I offer. I am very happy with the 2-2-5 as it allows us to do our own thing if we don't always agree.

 

[_HappyDad_]

Update:

My EX continues to be difficult; she didn't want to start the new 2-2-5-5 plan until she was paid some CS arrears. However, I couldn't pay the arrears because she would not agree to sign the Agreed Order until she was paid the arrears. It doesn't make sense. The CS is going be collected by CSE. She caused this whole mess since I always paid her on time directly for two years. (she filed the claim with CSE, then played dumb about it in Court) Then, she didn't want to sign the Agreed Order until I proved I paid her a child care payment from two years ago. The thing is, I did pay her and have a copy of the processed check. She is being difficult just out of spite, IMO, because she isn't getting her way.

The above sets up the next part. So, the last set of Orders we received states we are not to block each other's access to any records including, but not limited to medical, educational, etc. The EX lied and said I blocked her access to D3's medical records (see post #67). I reached out to EX and asked her about joining a new pre-school central to our homes. She waited until the last second to finally agree, but she mentioned consulting with "our care team.... and our child development and psychotherapist" regarding our daughter. I have no idea who these people are, so I messaged her requesting the contact info. It's been a week, and I haven't heard back. To me it seems she is deliberately blocking my access. What do I do? I don't really feel like going back to Court. Do I continue to ask for the info and document for a later court date?

Also, I want to use my address for school district purposes. I'm not sure what EX is planning for school, but I've kept the marital home, and I don't plan on moving any time soon. At what time/age of D3 do I address this with the Court.

 

[LdiJ]

Update:

My EX continues to be difficult; she didn't want to start the new 2-2-5-5 plan until she was paid some CS arrears. However, I couldn't pay the arrears because she would not agree to sign the Agreed Order until she was paid the arrears. It doesn't make sense. The CS is going be collected by CSE. She caused this whole mess since I always paid her on time directly for two years. (she filed the claim with CSE, then played dumb about it in Court) Then, she didn't want to sign the Agreed Order until I proved I paid her a child care payment from two years ago. The thing is, I did pay her and have a copy of the processed check. She is being difficult just out of spite, IMO, because she isn't getting her way.

The above sets up the next part. So, the last set of Orders we received states we are not to block each other's access to any records including, but not limited to medical, educational, etc. The EX lied and said I blocked her access to D3's medical records (see post #67). I reached out to EX and asked her about joining a new pre-school central to our homes. She waited until the last second to finally agree, but she mentioned consulting with "our care team.... and our child development and psychotherapist" regarding our daughter. I have no idea who these people are, so I messaged her requesting the contact info. It's been a week, and I haven't heard back. To me it seems she is deliberately blocking my access. What do I do? I don't really feel like going back to Court. Do I continue to ask for the info and document for a later court date?

Also, I want to use my address for school district purposes. I'm not sure what EX is planning for school, but I've kept the marital home, and I don't plan on moving any time soon. At what time/age of D3 do I address this with the Court.

If you want to use your address for school district purposes why in the world haven't you addressed that before now?

 

[_HappyDad_]

If you want to use your address for school district purposes why in the world haven't you addressed that before now?

I've been badgering my attorney about this for the last two years. He keeps saying to wait. I insist we get this settled. It's frustrating.

 

[LdiJ]

I've been badgering my attorney about this for the last two years. He keeps saying to wait. I insist we get this settled. It's frustrating.

I understand your frustration but don't assume that just because you kept the marital home, that you will automatically be given the right to be the primary parent for school purposes. You odds of winning that are probably 50/50. Generally it goes to the parent who has the most school days, however with your 2 2 5 5 plan its going to be equal over time.

 

[_HappyDad_]

How is this argument best framed? The EX has moved three times in the last two years. She is currently renting. I'm sure she will either re-marry or buy a house herself. Either way, that will be at least one more move.

I live in the marital home. I work one mile away from the house. I do not plan on moving. The EX lives five miles away. We would use the same middle school and high school based on on our school districts. We are zoned for different elementary schools, and my elementary school is rated slighter higher than hers.

It seems like everywhere I read, the person who keeps the marital home is given preference for school district. Why would the person who moved out get any favor? Isn't that the reason to keep the home?

 

[LdiJ]

How is this argument best framed? The EX has moved three times in the last two years. She is currently renting. I'm sure she will either re-marry or buy a house herself. Either way, that will be at least one more move.

I live in the marital home. I work one mile away from the house. I do not plan on moving. The EX lives five miles away. We would use the same middle school and high school based on on our school districts. We are zoned for different elementary schools, and my elementary school is rated slighter higher than hers.

It seems like everywhere I read, the person who keeps the marital home is given preference for school district. Why would the person who moved out get any favor? Isn't that the reason to keep the home?

In this instance your child was not in school when you divorced...and if I understand you correctly that the child is 3, the child won't be going to school for another couple of years. Your reasoning would be valid if the child was already in school and you wanted the child to not have to change schools, but it isn't valid for a child who is not in school yet.

People keep the marital home because they want the home. Not for some advantage regarding custody or convenience. Also, its just as likely that your ex could move back into the same elementary school zone as you by that time, which would make your argument moot.