Guardian Ad Litem

[t74]

OP, You are not objective and should not be making declarative statements like :
" this man has no business around a child. He will do no good. "

. You need to let the professionals assess the situation and make their recommendations. If they are not recommending "no contact" then you need to either follow their advice or seek additional assessments.

 

[not2cleverRed]

OP, You are not objective and should not be making declarative statements like :
" this man has no business around a child. He will do no good. "

. You need to let the professionals assess the situation and make their recommendations. If they are not recommending "no contact" then you need to either follow their advice or seek additional assessments.

The 5 year CPO would seem to indicate a reason to have reservations about contact.

The GAL has expressed concern for the safety of Mom and her family. (Post #55.)

 

[Just Blue]

OP, You are not objective and should not be making declarative statements like :
" this man has no business around a child. He will do no good. "

. You need to let the professionals assess the situation and make their recommendations. If they are not recommending "no contact" then you need to either follow their advice or seek additional assessments.

What is wrong with you?? Seriously...stop chastising this OP. She has every right to make that "declarative statement". FIVE YEAR CPO aren't handed out like Snickers on Halloween.

 

[WonderingGALohio]

Because I was young and stupid. And he wasn’t the same person 11 yrs ago, or at least I didn’t know he was.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

Because I was young and stupid. And he wasn’t the same person 11 yrs ago, or at least I didn’t know he was.

And he may not be the same person 2 years from now.

 

[Just Blue]

Because I was young and stupid. And he wasn’t the same person 11 yrs ago, or at least I didn’t know he was.

Ignore t74. She get's her granny panties in a twist whenever she perceives a woman not behaving like it's 1952. Ya know..".Men can do no wrong and if he beats the crap out of you and the kids you all likely deserved it" mentality.

 

[Just Blue]

And he may not be the same person 2 years from now.

And he may not. I can't blame OP for not wanting to take a risk, on the off chance the Ex might, at some point in the future, have an epiphany.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

And he may not. I can't blame OP for not wanting to take a risk, on the off chance the Ex might, at some point in the future, have an epiphany.

I'm not either. My point is all about why the outside parties are not so quick to sever the parenting rights of the father.

 

[WonderingGALohio]

Thanks everyone, I was just trying to get an opinion on whether or not I should now get another Dr. involved or just ask for Trial. It’s been two years of this and I am pretty over going to court all the time, seeing specialists, and quite frankly, not enjoying all this time with my son that I could be if I didn’t waste so much energy being worried.

 

[Just Blue]

Thanks everyone, I was just trying to get an opinion on whether or not I should now get another Dr. involved or just ask for Trial. It’s been two years of this and I am pretty over going to court all the time, seeing specialists, and quite frankly, not enjoying all this time with my son that I could be if I didn’t waste so much energy being worried.

Keep in mind that your ex is an abuser. Because he is an abuser with a CPO his only way of "hurting you", without ending up in jail/prison, is by instilling fear in you. Don't give him that satisfaction.

Although you haven't shared why you were granted the CPO, I am assuming it was because he hurt you, your child or both of you. Badly.

 

[WonderingGALohio]

Keep in mind that your ex is an abuser. Because he is an abuser with a CPO his only way of "hurting you", without ending up in jail/prison, is by instilling fear in you. Don't give him that satisfaction.

Although you haven't shared why you were granted the CPO, I am assuming it was because he hurt you, your child or both of you. Badly.

Thank you Just Blue.

 

[Just Blue]

"Still going through court stuff, just slowed down due to the virus. Per the Gal we had to hire another forensic psychologist. He is taking his time, so far only had a zoom meeting with me. Good news is the forensic psychologist is really only supposed to determine if no contact would have a mental impact on my son. Especially since he has a very stable father figure (my bf of 4 yrs). "

This ^^ was an little update WonderingGALohio sent me today...With her permission I thought I would share with you all.

 

[Ohiogal]

"Still going through court stuff, just slowed down due to the virus. Per the Gal we had to hire another forensic psychologist. He is taking his time, so far only had a zoom meeting with me. Good news is the forensic psychologist is really only supposed to determine if no contact would have a mental impact on my son. Especially since he has a very stable father figure (my bf of 4 yrs). "

This ^^ was an little update WonderingGALohio sent me today...With her permission I thought I would share with you all.

She needs to keep the boyfriend separate from this

 

[Maymee]

She needs to keep the boyfriend separate from this

I want to second this.

A stepfather of four years being brought into it can create some issues with the court, but a boyfriend will certainly ruffle some feathers.

I definitely understand what the OP is getting at, but a boyfriend has not made any commitment and thus the stability can be gone in the blink of an eye without any difficulties. So proclaiming the stability of a father figure of someone who has made no solid commitments to his relationship with the child by marrying the mother can be seen as an effort to push the father out of the child’s life. (Which, honestly, sounds like he made that effort all by himself but I’m viewing from the perspective of the Court.)

That said, I’m happy OP and her son have someone in their life with whom they feel safe and secure. I wish them all the best.