How to notify court of noncompliance

[empressj]

Hi all.

I live in Florida.

Divorced for 8+ years.

Two children.

Court approved mediation agreement requires that all communication between parents occur on Our Family Wizard. Father recently requested that communications be done through phone, text or whatsapp. Not Our Family Wizard. My response was that if he desired a change, he would need to change the agreement.

In addition, Father is entitled to every other weekend visitation with his two children. However, he rarely exercises the visitation. He frequently leaves town to go to another state. I have tracked his visitation for the past 3 years and it is less than 25% of the time. He does get 60 consecutive days in the summer, which he does participate in.

Dad has put his home up for sale and has told the children he is moving to another state. He dropped off the kids in March and has not been back since. He is planning on coming back to pick up the kids for their 60-day visit in the other state at the end of this month. (He will fly them back to the other state)

The only reason we are here in this state is for their father (relocation laws). If he has been gone for 60+ days, do we file a notice to the court that Father is not abiding by the agreement with respect to his every other week visitation? Or do we wait until we have jobs in a new location and file for relocation?

Is there some sort of vehicle to notify the court of the father's non-adherence to our agreement? Between missing his visitations (consistently) and refusing to do Our Family Wizard, I feel like the court should be notified. Is this grounds for contempt or some other thing?

He also hasn't paid a few medical bills (they are about 6 months outstanding now), but I'm so used to that, I don't really report it...but it could be added to the list.

I would love to avoid hiring an attorney for housekeeping issues such as this. I have requested communication from the Father on these items in our family wizard, but he has allowed his account to lapse and will not renew.

Thanks!

 

[Zigner]

You can't force him to take his visitation time, but you can use the fact that he's not utilizing the time as a basis for a modification to the visitation schedule.

As for the Our Family Wizard matter...why don't you offer to pay for his subscription? It'd be cheaper than taking such a minor matter to court.

 

[empressj]

I've considered paying the OFW, but at this point, I have the kids full time, I pay all the medical, dental, etc. He pays nothing and doesn't exercise visitation. It feels like he has zero responsibility.

Still...I agree. $119 is nothing. But also, x8 more years of parenting, it does add up. I will definitely consider.

Thanks.

 

[Zigner]

I've considered paying the OFW, but at this point, I have the kids full time, I pay all the medical, dental, etc. He pays nothing and doesn't exercise visitation. It feels like he has zero responsibility.

Still...I agree. $119 is nothing. But also, x8 more years of parenting, it does add up. I will definitely consider.

Thanks.

If you take the matter (visitation) to court, you can address and adjustment to child support at the same time.

 

[empressj]

Yeah. I hate going to court. Ugh. But I guess if things don't improve, I will have to reopen it and modify our existing agreement.

Thanks.

In the meantime, if he decides to pick up the kids for his summer visit and doesn't have OFW by the time he picks them up, I will pay for his so that there is a reliable way to communicate.

Take Care.

 

[Zigner]

Yeah. I hate going to court. Ugh. But I guess if things don't improve, I will have to reopen it and modify our existing agreement.

Thanks.

In the meantime, if he decides to pick up the kids for his summer visit and doesn't have OFW by the time he picks them up, I will pay for his so that there is a reliable way to communicate.

Take Care.

Why do you feel that OFW is more reliable than texting or Whatsapp? OFW is designed so that there is a solid third-party record of the communications that take place. It is not necessarily more reliable than other methods.

 

[empressj]

I get what you're asking. Perhaps reliable isn't the correct word.

Peaceful?

When they are with him over the summer, I will often call multiple days in a row and get no answer. With OFW, I send a note saying, "I called xxx day and didn't get an answer, please have the kids call me when they are available."

He knows that OFW is admissible...so after a few days of repeated messages, he will have the kids call me.

Same with miscommunications. Not placing blame. He and I have a difficult time communicating. He hears one thing, I hear another. With OFW, there is a record of who said what.

With Whatsapp, even though I can save those messages and have the same results, HE seems to behave better with OFW...and since we've had it, our communications have been for the most part, peaceful.

For that reason, if I have to, I will pay for his portion of it. But it seems like that's really a minor part of my issue at this time.

Thanks!

 

[Zigner]

I get what you're asking. Perhaps reliable isn't the correct word.

Peaceful?

When they are with him over the summer, I will often call multiple days in a row and get no answer. With OFW, I send a note saying, "I called xxx day and didn't get an answer, please have the kids call me when they are available."

He knows that OFW is admissible...so after a few days of repeated messages, he will have the kids call me.

Same with miscommunications. Not placing blame. He and I have a difficult time communicating. He hears one thing, I hear another. With OFW, there is a record of who said what.

With Whatsapp, even though I can save those messages and have the same results, HE seems to behave better with OFW...and since we've had it, our communications have been for the most part, peaceful.

For that reason, if I have to, I will pay for his portion of it. But it seems like that's really a minor part of my issue at this time.

Thanks!

Fair enough - I understand.

 

[LdiJ]

Hi all.

I live in Florida.

Divorced for 8+ years.

Two children.

Court approved mediation agreement requires that all communication between parents occur on Our Family Wizard. Father recently requested that communications be done through phone, text or whatsapp. Not Our Family Wizard. My response was that if he desired a change, he would need to change the agreement.

In addition, Father is entitled to every other weekend visitation with his two children. However, he rarely exercises the visitation. He frequently leaves town to go to another state. I have tracked his visitation for the past 3 years and it is less than 25% of the time. He does get 60 consecutive days in the summer, which he does participate in.

Dad has put his home up for sale and has told the children he is moving to another state. He dropped off the kids in March and has not been back since. He is planning on coming back to pick up the kids for their 60-day visit in the other state at the end of this month. (He will fly them back to the other state)

The only reason we are here in this state is for their father (relocation laws). If he has been gone for 60+ days, do we file a notice to the court that Father is not abiding by the agreement with respect to his every other week visitation? Or do we wait until we have jobs in a new location and file for relocation?

Is there some sort of vehicle to notify the court of the father's non-adherence to our agreement? Between missing his visitations (consistently) and refusing to do Our Family Wizard, I feel like the court should be notified. Is this grounds for contempt or some other thing?

He also hasn't paid a few medical bills (they are about 6 months outstanding now), but I'm so used to that, I don't really report it...but it could be added to the list.

I would love to avoid hiring an attorney for housekeeping issues such as this. I have requested communication from the Father on these items in our family wizard, but he has allowed his account to lapse and will not renew.

Thanks!

Ok, apparently you would like to relocate from Florida as well. What you really need to file is a modification of visitation and child support based on the fact that dad no longer lives in Florida and that you intend to move away from Florida as well. You don't need all of the contempt of court bits (unless you want him censured for being behind with medical expenses and his reluctance to follow the order to use OFW) because this should be pretty much a slam dunk under the circumstances. You will end up with a long distance visitation plan which will likely give dad the same 60 days in the summer as well as every other Thanksgiving, a week at Christmas, and every or every other Spring Break. You will end up with a child support order that is based on your current financial situations.

 

[t74]

I hope your phone calls are not intrusive on dad's time. You may want to have clarified how often you and he may call when the children are in the custody of the other parent and the other parent's response when the children do not answer or return the call.

 

[stealth2]

How old are the kids? (asking before addressing the phone call situation.)

 

[empressj]

Ok, apparently you would like to relocate from Florida as well. What you really need to file is a modification of visitation and child support based on the fact that dad no longer lives in Florida and that you intend to move away from Florida as well. You don't need all of the contempt of court bits (unless you want him censured for being behind with medical expenses and his reluctance to follow the order to use OFW) because this should be pretty much a slam dunk under the circumstances. You will end up with a long distance visitation plan which will likely give dad the same 60 days in the summer as well as every other Thanksgiving, a week at Christmas, and every or every other Spring Break. You will end up with a child support order that is based on your current financial situations.

Thanks.

Just going to wait until we have jobs, a place to live elsewhere before beginning a relocation case. A long-distance visitation plan like what you stated above is basically how he sees the kids now. So it would be basically no change, except for the rare weekend when he is in town and picks the kids up from the bus stop on his weekend. I can accommodate for that time by giving him all spring breaks. We already have a schedule alternating most major holidays. Some of which he takes and some he doesn't.

Thanks.

 

[empressj]

How old are the kids? (asking before addressing the phone call situation.)

One kid just turned 11, one kid just turned 12. They do not have their own phones.

Summer phone calls are on a set schedule in the parenting plan (included in final judgement). They are Monday, Wednesday and Friday at a specific time (I requested it this way because we have had issues in the past with phone contact). If they have plans during that time, he just has to send a message through OFW changing the time.

Still, he frequently says, "we had no signal," or "I didn't hear the phone call." So, it becomes an issue that is important to keep track of on OFW.

Thanks.

 

[empressj]

I hope your phone calls are not intrusive on dad's time. You may want to have clarified how often you and he may call when the children are in the custody of the other parent and the other parent's response when the children do not answer or return the call.

We have it written out in the final judgement that I will call during the summer on Monday, Wednesday and Friday at a specific time. If he needs to change the time, he can send a message through OFW to change it.

During other times (not summer), I will call once during a 3 day period...usually, the day before they return home so that I can remind them to do homework, pack things for school, etc.

Their father goes through phases where he will answer and allow communication and phases when he will ignore calls or say he didn't hear the phone or had no signal, so OFW helps me to document all that. If he doesn't answer, or I can't reach the kids, I send a message on OFW saying, "Dear xxxx, I tried to call the kids today at xxxx. Please have them call me when it is convenient."

This usually also prompts him to be sure to have them return my call because he knows it is admissible in court. If I was harassing him or calling too much, it would also be evident to a third party in OFW.

OFW is a great tool that really works for both parties...if they use it.

Take Care.

 

[empressj]

Just a note in case anyone else does have this issue. I found a Fee Waiver application for Our Family Wizard. I sent it to him. He hasn't said that his issue is financial...but OFW will waive his fees if he is on government assistance, etc. The application was available on their website.

I had to send it to him outside of OFW, but I will also contact them and see if they can push a notice to him.

Thanks!