15 yr old son wont do as he is told....

[GinAA]

Has there been any new friends in this kids life. I have a niece and nephew that went through this sudden decline and it was due to new friends and drugs. They sell drug test kits at wal-mart and most pharmacies. I would get the one that tests for just about everything and make him take it. Its pretty much like a pregnancy test. At least you would know if drugs were the cause. Only catch is you need to make sure he is actually taking it and not scooping water out of the toilet. Maybe you can get with the dad and have him observe, I know it sounds harsh but you can't help if you don't know what is going on.

Nope, same friends for the last 4 years or so. Scouts and Band buddies. He does have a new girlfriend. He is always in the same place, the library. He isn't a bad kid and doesn't get into trouble outside of not listening to me.

He had a good conversation with the last police officer that came to our house on Friday night. He seems to have turned a corner and is trying to do what he needs to. He did every chore I gave him today. Without complaining or rolling his eyes. Maybe it's because it was almost 50 degrees and Spring is around the corner.

 

[summerdawn]

I'm glad your son is doing better. I went through some very similar issues with my 14 year old who is also much bigger than me, and I totally understand how hard it is to be a single parent and try to spend individual time with all of the kids. Mine are 15, 14, 8, 7, and 4.

For our family, I noticed that my son has done so much better since he started getting more active in our church youth group. Our church youth program is really awesome, and the youth pastor has kind of taken my son under his wing and let him air out some of the stuff that was on his mind that he might not have felt comfortable discussing with me. I did the Garden of Eden thing too, along with peanut butter sandwiches for 3 meals per day for a while. He was pretty grateful for any type of luxury after a while! LOL!

If you ever need to talk, feel free to pm me.

 

[stealth2]

I'm glad your son is doing better. I went through some very similar issues with my 14 year old who is also much bigger than me, and I totally understand how hard it is to be a single parent and try to spend individual time with all of the kids. Mine are 15, 14, 8, 7, and 4.

Except she is not a single parent. The child has an active father in the picture, as well as a stepfather (the father of the other two children).

Nope, same friends for the last 4 years or so. Scouts and Band buddies. He does have a new girlfriend. He is always in the same place, the library. He isn't a bad kid and doesn't get into trouble outside of not listening to me.

If he's ALWAYS at the library, why would you need to call the cops on him?

 

[GinAA]

I'm glad your son is doing better. I went through some very similar issues with my 14 year old who is also much bigger than me, and I totally understand how hard it is to be a single parent and try to spend individual time with all of the kids. Mine are 15, 14, 8, 7, and 4.

For our family, I noticed that my son has done so much better since he started getting more active in our church youth group. Our church youth program is really awesome, and the youth pastor has kind of taken my son under his wing and let him air out some of the stuff that was on his mind that he might not have felt comfortable discussing with me. I did the Garden of Eden thing too, along with peanut butter sandwiches for 3 meals per day for a while. He was pretty grateful for any type of luxury after a while! LOL!

If you ever need to talk, feel free to pm me.

Thanks. It's always comforting to know that others have the same issues and things DID get better. He has been a great help this weekend and even admitted it was much less stressfull to just do what he was supposed to than to keep looking over his shoulder waiting for trouble.

 

[GinAA]

Except she is not a single parent. The child has an active father in the picture, as well as a stepfather (the father of the other two children).



If he's ALWAYS at the library, why would you need to call the cops on him?

He is to be at home. If he is not where he is supposed to be then I have the right to have him picked up and brought home or delt with as the law sees fit. It would be one thing if he came home and told me where he was going even though he isn't to go anywhere but he doesn't. He leaves in the morning to go to school and I wouldn't see or hear from him till after 9pm. If his grades were better than failing, it wouldn't be an issue either. In the end, he needs to do as he is told. I have given him so much room to try and comply and he just throws it back at me. Now that he knows there is no room to play around with the rules, he is doing much better. Only time will tell if he is actually going to change or he is just trying to get some playing room again.

 

[floridafather]

My 15 year old son has done the exact same thing to my wife and I. Only over the past year we have taken all video games and fun stuff away, stripped his room & had him seeing counselors, psychiatrists, therapists, etc..still nothing changed! He started behaving this way once he started high school and began hanging with the Wrong crowd. They influenced alot of it but ultimately he is responsible for his actions. I have gone through 4 jobs this past year, & unemployed now because when I was at work I would get emergency calls & have to leave. Money is tight & we barely get by with my wife salary. I love him so much and was trying to help. Well, one of those damned kids dared him to do something last week at school and he lit a toilet paper dispenser on fire in the bathroom at school. He was caught, arrested & charged with Arson 1st degree and received a first degree felony charge & currently in juvenile detention facility awaiting trial. Oh yeah, he was also expelled from our county district school board for the next two years. He has royally screwed himself and I am falling apart emotionally! You need to do something, I don't have the answer as you see. Maybe find out more about his friends and meet their parents. I told my son I loved him every day before bedtime until last week and I feel like part of me is missing. Don't let this happen to you and your family. I wish you all the best! Bye

 

[goddessoflubboc]

I have to say I could not imagine my 15 year old son having to come home from school everyday and staying in. I do always know where he is/who he's with, but he'd go stir-crazy.

And don't fret too much about a few bad grades messing up his entire future. I was the "model child" until one day I couldn't take being perfect for my parents for one more minute. So, on Feb 28th in my senior year - and on target to be valedictorian in a class of 750 - I walked out of the middle of typing class, got in a car, and left. I drove and drove, wound up 2000 miles from home.

I eventually went home, and ended up getting a BS and MEd from a well-respected private women's college.

Kids all have different ways of reacting to stress. You need to have an open mind in trying to learn what that is.

Oh yeah - my parents tried to blame peer pressure, new friends, bad crowd, drugs, you name it. I finally told them - look in a mirror, there's my problem. They would only accept perfection. When I went to college, I paid my own way. That way if I got a "B" no one could threaten my schooling with it.

 

[GinAA]

A step in the right direction

My son came home after school. Stated to my husband that he had to go to the library to finish his project. He was told he had to wait till I got home from work. He got his snack, cleaned the kitchen and folded some laundry before I got home.

I checked my email and there was one from his English teacher outlining the project.

He did everything I have asked him to do in the last two years, today.

I let him go to the library due to him showing me that he understands what needs to be done for him to do what he has to sometimes.

All children react differently and it has taken 2 years of different methods to finally find what we needed to get him to understand. He was rewarded for doing what he should.

Now, just have to see if he comes home by the time I told him.

 

[summerdawn]

Except she is not a single parent. The child has an active father in the picture, as well as a stepfather (the father of the other two children).



If he's ALWAYS at the library, why would you need to call the cops on him?

Sorry Stealth, I must not have read thoroughly enough. OP, I do hope dad and stepdad are supporting you and junior through the struggles you all have been going through, and I am glad things have been getting better for you.