16yo lying about severity of a fight, not coming home. Mom enabling.

[commentator]

So get that attorney going, do not try to go on the cheap simply because your ex threatens that they'll make it a "high conflict situation." So be it, put all you have into this. You must parent this child as YOU feel is best, not just back off because they've gotten older.

Your child has known you for years now, he's going to know how you feel about everything. You must do what you really believe is best, according to your own truth. And the truth is that you need to be involved and providing feedback and governance of your son's behavior right up until you are no longer able to do so. Then if your son wants to march off with his head up his behind and have nothing more to do with you, so it will be. At least he won't at some point in his life be able to sit in a 12 step meeting and say "Boo hoo, poor me, my abusive father just let me go......."

I used to be asked a lot by my students what was wrong with them smoking pot, and my answer was that we don't need a "stupid" drug to get us through the day, any more than we need to come in to school drunk every day. Pot makes you stupid and slow in a world that rewards you for being fast and smart. The rules say that right now, in this situation, you do not do it. Enough said.

 

[LdiJ]

I have to add here that I would fight tooth and nail to get the joint counseling court ordered as soon as possible. Mom cannot reasonably argue against that and if things go well in counseling it could derail mom's custody case to a great extent.

What I am the most concerned about is the child's age. He is sixteen which means that its less than two years until he is a legal adult. So, lets say that he is 16 1/2. Lets say that it takes a year or a bit more, (which is totally realistic in a highly contested case) to get a final ruling on custody. That means that in less than six months after that ruling is made, it would be a moot point. A highly contested custody case could easily cost 10-20k or even more.