Advice?

[Madison31]

If I have to waste my time correcting your so-called advice in other poster's threads I won't even bother attempting to help you. What I will do is report every one of your nonsensical posts and you will eventually be banned. Do you understand me? Oh and question my knowledge. PLEASE.

I understand.

I will not post replies, only read.

I have not questioned your knowledge. Obviously you have been here for a long time. I respect that.

 

[>Charlotte<]

I understand. I will not post replies, only read. I have not questioned your knowledge. Obviously you have been here for a long time. I respect that.

Thank you for understanding, and for being reasonable. It happens so seldom, I just thought you deserved an attagirl for that. Most people just get more unreasonable.

 

[Humusluvr]

I do not see any other "newbies" here citing their responses, whether that be advice, opinions, or a legal term. As a matter of fact, most of the time, even the senior members do not cite their responses. I did not see that rule in the rule forum. Would you direct me to it? I will certainly follow the rules here.

I am not a lawyer. Just a parent who has a child.

When I post, I have said "in my state." I have never claimed that the same applied to the poster's state. I did not know that we could not give reference to our own state. Of course, the poster may not even care what happened in "my state." However, if it is a general question, like, does a judge let the child have a say in where he/she lives? Then someone posts the comment not until the age of 18...that's not true. Of course the judge will not always order what the child wants. But sometimes the judge will listen to the child, and consider what the child said when the judge makes his decision.

Part of joining a discussion forum is that we discuss a lot. And when someone makes a statement that someone else questions, we can call the poster. Then the poster can either back it up with law, references, or sources. Or, if the poster is wrong, we may choose to point the reader in the correct direction. This is all part of being responsible and caring about the education of the reader when it comes to the law.

It's irresponsible to make wild accusations. It would be irresponsible of us to know a post was inaccurate and not attempt to educate the reader.

I have posted inaccuracies before, and other seniors have pointed it out and directed the reader to the legal info. It didn't make me all defensive, it made me more educated. I rejoice in that fact.

 

[Isis1]

Thank you for understanding, and for being reasonable. It happens so seldom, I just thought you deserved an attagirl for that. Most people just get more unreasonable.

i agree. can i co-sign?

 

[stealth2]

I realize you may have your own unresolved issues from childhood. Your anger is clearly shown in your posts. So I will not hold that against you.

Au contraire, mon cherie.

However, I do have a difficult ex and stepmother to deal with. And it is very rare to have an order that disallows one parent from having a babysitter - of any sort - and not the other.

 

[Madison31]

Part of joining a discussion forum is that we discuss a lot. And when someone makes a statement that someone else questions, we can call the poster. Then the poster can either back it up with law, references, or sources. Or, if the poster is wrong, we may choose to point the reader in the correct direction. This is all part of being responsible and caring about the education of the reader when it comes to the law.

It's irresponsible to make wild accusations. It would be irresponsible of us to know a post was inaccurate and not attempt to educate the reader.

I have posted inaccuracies before, and other seniors have pointed it out and directed the reader to the legal info. It didn't make me all defensive, it made me more educated. I rejoice in that fact.

Thank you for explaining this to me.

I am here so I can hopefully educate myself regarding legal matters that involve my child custody case. I do not want to step on anyone's toes. That is not going to help me. I realize that. I am not familiar enough with any laws, to be giving advice. Let alone to question anybody here that has been around for any period of time.

Therefore, I will only read..and post questions about my case.

My apologies.

 

[Madison31]

In the motion I filed 4 weeks ago, we are requesting dad to do the following.

1.) Attend therapy with our son. Our son has been in therapy for 2 years. Dad has not been to any appointments with our son. Dad has seen this therapist once, and that was after I filed the motion.

2.) Requesting dad to take educational courses for parents of children with special needs.

3.) Requesting dad take parenting classes.

-I have been to therapy with our son many times. I am also the one who takes our son to therapy 2 times a month for the past 2 years. I have went to see this therapist on my own also.
-I have read books, taken classes, and belong to support groups of parents with children who have my son's same mental health diagnosis.
-I have taken courses in parenting.
I have documentation/certificates to show what I've done.

After we requested it, dad went to see our son's therapist one time. However, on his second visit, he learned he could no longer see the therapist under my insurance, that he would have to use his own, or pay out of pocket. Dad did not pay the co-pay when he went the first time, and refuses to pay it still. Dad told therapist he does not believe he should have to pay for his own sessions, and walked out on the 2nd session. Now dad told his lawyer he feels he (dad) does not need therapy, and will not see this therapist, who my son has been seeing for two years. The therapist is a child psychologist and treats many children who have my son's same diagnosis.

My lawyer was putting off court until it was decided how therapy went. But now dad refuses to go.

Question. Are my above requests within reason to ask?

 

[Ohiogal]

In the motion I filed 4 weeks ago, we are requesting dad to do the following.

1.) Attend therapy with our son. Our son has been in therapy for 2 years. Dad has not been to any appointments with our son. Dad has seen this therapist once, and that was after I filed the motion.

Are you also attending therapy with him? Is this therapist the child's therapist or a family therapist? Many therapists treating just one person MAY NOT want to cross the line by changing into a family therapist so have you discussed this with the therapist?

2.) Requesting dad to take educational courses for parents of children with special needs.

Have you had to take these educational courses? Or is this just for dad? Why does dad need to take them?

3.) Requesting dad take parenting classes.

Why does dad need parenting classes?
ETA I SHOULD HAVE KEPT READING BEFORE ANSWERING.

-I have been to therapy with our son many times. I am also the one who takes our son to therapy 2 times a month for the past 2 years. I have went to see this therapist on my own also.

Then the therapist may be crossing ethical lines and I can understand why dad may not want to see this therapist who has also treated you. That is a big conflict.

-I have read books, taken classes, and belong to support groups of parents with children who have my son's same mental health diagnosis.

So have you taken the course that you want dad to take however?

-I have taken courses in parenting.
I have documentation/certificates to show what I've done.

Okay this is impressive. The big thing is the therapist.

After we requested it, dad went to see our son's therapist one time. However, on his second visit, he learned he could no longer see the therapist under my insurance, that he would have to use his own, or pay out of pocket. Dad did not pay the co-pay when he went the first time, and refuses to pay it still. Dad told therapist he does not believe he should have to pay for his own sessions, and walked out on the 2nd session. Now dad told his lawyer he feels he (dad) does not need therapy, and will not see this therapist, who my son has been seeing for two years. The therapist is a child psychologist and treats many children who have my son's same diagnosis.

A child psychologist? How is she treating you then? Dad shouldn't be going to see a child psychologist however even if he did need therapy and quite frankly who besides you is saying he needs it.

My lawyer was putting off court until it was decided how therapy went. But now dad refuses to go.

Understood. Maybe dad doesn't have the money to go. Is this therapist under his insurance as well?

Question. Are my above requests within reason to ask?

If you can prove that dad does not have the knowledge to deal with junior the special needs education might be granted. You would also have to show that parenting classes are needed and that dad is deficient. What SOLID proof do you have on these things?

The therapist is a real sticky one -- You want to force dad to pay money to go see a child psychologist and you don't seem to have a clear picture of why. Dad says HE doesn't need therapy. Who is saying he does? And is he dad or son? I am reading it as dad. What is dad supposed to do at these therapy sessions? What is the point of his attendance?

 

[Madison31]

I would like to be able to answer each of your questions after quoting each question. However, I do not know how to use the quote feature for divided responses. So I will copy and paste.


"Are you also attending therapy with him? Is this therapist the child's therapist or a family therapist? Many therapists treating just one person MAY NOT want to cross the line by changing into a family therapist so have you discussed this with the therapist?"

I only attend at the very beginning of the session if there are any issues, or if our son has had an episode since previous session. Sessions are 1 hr. I may spend 15-20 minutes with therapist. He treats our child, and has additional education in child pyscology. He does meet with parents of his patients who are children, to discuss the child's issues, ways to discipline, suggests ways for the parents to get along for best interest of child. Therapist has already agreed to see dad, and dad and son together.

Have you had to take these educational courses? Or is this just for dad? Why does dad need to take them?


I will take them. I have taken several already. There are no specific courses that have been ordered. We are just asking dad to take courses at this time. I spent time finding specific courses directed at our son's illness, and provided them to my lawyer. However, I am not insisting dad take these specific ones. I am only requesting dad take educational courses for parents of children with special needs. So unless the judge orders specific classes, dad is able to find these courses on his own, or utilize the ones that I have found.


Then the therapist may be crossing ethical lines and I can understand why dad may not want to see this therapist who has also treated you. That is a big conflict.

When I said that I went to see tdoc(therapist) on my own, I am stating that I have spoken with this tdoc without our son present, to discuss issues/concerns that both tdoc and I felt son should not hear. For instance, I asked tdoc the best way for me to respond to my son when my son tells me specific things his dad has said about me. Things that I've posted above. Like dad and wife reading the motion to child, etc. I am not a patient of this tdoc.


A child psychologist? How is she treating you then? Dad shouldn't be going to see a child psychologist however even if he did need therapy and quite frankly who besides you is saying he needs it.


He is not treating me. Please see my response to your previous question. I'm requesting dad see this tdoc so that dad can better understand the emotional needs of our child, the scope of child's disorder, the importance of not stopping psychtropic meds unless directed and supervised by the prescribing doctor. The tdoc wants to see how our son acts with dad, how dad responds to our son, etc. Dad did not give our son his psychotropic meds when son was in his care for a week. This caused the child to have a major episode. I have Intermittent FMLA from work (I am an RN), to care for our son during his episodes or appointments. I had to take FMLA when our son had this episode, so I could care for him and take him to see his tdoc and pdoc(psychiatrist).


Understood. Maybe dad doesn't have the money to go. Is this therapist under his insurance as well?

Dad does not have insurance. Yes, dad may not have the money to go. I do not know for sure though if dad has the money or not.

It's dad who said that he himself(dad) does not need therapy. But the therapy I am requesting is therapy between dad and son.


I will answer any questions you have.

 

[Humusluvr]

What does dad do, making $48,000 a year but not having health insurance?

 

[Ohiogal]

Thank you for clarifying. When you respond at the top you will see a cartoon quote bubble. Highlight the text you want to quote and then click on the bubble.

I only attend at the very beginning of the session if there are any issues, or if our son has had an episode since previous session. Sessions are 1 hr. I may spend 15-20 minutes with therapist. He treats our child, and has additional education in child pyscology. He does meet with parents of his patients who are children, to discuss the child's issues, ways to discipline, suggests ways for the parents to get along for best interest of child. Therapist has already agreed to see dad, and dad and son together.

How far away does dad live? I am sorta confused as to why dad needs to attend therapy if he may just be sitting in the waiting room with you. Have you considered how uncomfortable that would be? He could contact the therapist over the phone to receive information or even give it.

I will take them. I have taken several already. There are no specific courses that have been ordered. We are just asking dad to take courses at this time. I spent time finding specific courses directed at our son's illness, and provided them to my lawyer. However, I am not insisting dad take these specific ones. I am only requesting dad take educational courses for parents of children with special needs. So unless the judge orders specific classes, dad is able to find these courses on his own, or utilize the ones that I have found.

But without specific courses or reasons for the courses then I don't see a court necessarily ordering that.

When I said that I went to see tdoc(therapist) on my own, I am stating that I have spoken with this tdoc without our son present, to discuss issues/concerns that both tdoc and I felt son should not hear. For instance, I asked tdoc the best way for me to respond to my son when my son tells me specific things his dad has said about me. Things that I've posted above. Like dad and wife reading the motion to child, etc. I am not a patient of this tdoc.

He is not treating me. Please see my response to your previous question. I'm requesting dad see this tdoc so that dad can better understand the emotional needs of our child, the scope of child's disorder, the importance of not stopping psychtropic meds unless directed and supervised by the prescribing doctor. The tdoc wants to see how our son acts with dad, how dad responds to our son, etc. Dad did not give our son his psychotropic meds when son was in his care for a week. This caused the child to have a major episode. I have Intermittent FMLA from work (I am an RN), to care for our son during his episodes or appointments. I had to take FMLA when our son had this episode, so I could care for him and take him to see his tdoc and pdoc(psychiatrist).

Give dad the number of the therapist and ask him to contact the therapist that way.

Dad does not have insurance. Yes, dad may not have the money to go. I do not know for sure though if dad has the money or not.

It's dad who said that he himself(dad) does not need therapy. But the therapy I am requesting is therapy between dad and son.

Why does dad and son need therapy together?
Other than the educational aspects of dad finding out about son's treatment?

 

[Madison31]

He works at General Motors.

He's been a "temp" there for a year. Temp's there do not have access to insurance. This is what dad told me. Friend of Court also just did investiagtion and reported dad does not have insurance. Friend of Court's investigation also determined dad makes $48,000 a year. I have the paperwork Friend of Court sent me.

Dad is no longer a "temp" there. He was hired as permanent employee 5 weeks ago. He will get insurance soon as far as what I've been told, because he's permanent employee now.

 

[Madison31]

Thank you for explaining how to quote. I tried, but it told me I needed to enter more than 10 characters for the post? I had a lot more than 10 characters. So I will play with it later so I will be able to do it correctly.


How far away does dad live? I am sorta confused as to why dad needs to attend therapy if he may just be sitting in the waiting room with you. Have you considered how uncomfortable that would be? He could contact the therapist over the phone to receive information or even give it.

Dad lives 45 minutes away. I would not attend these sessions between dad and our son. It will be dad and son in tdoc's office together. Dad will not have to wait in the waiting room. I myself wait in the waiting room if I am not attending session with our son. But dad would be directly involved the entire session. Tdoc wants to see how the 2 of them interact. How dad responds to son. Son's behavior around dad.




But without specific courses or reasons for the courses then I don't see a court necessarily ordering that.

I have found specific courses and gave them to my attorney. I am requesting he attend educational courses for parents with children who have special needs....being the specific courses. I am more than willing to provide these courses.

Give dad the number of the therapist and ask him to contact the therapist that way.

I have given dad the number, name, address of the tdoc and have made 2 appointments for dad and son because dad has said in the past, that he would attend. However, dad cancelled both these appointments. He has only called the tdoc 2 times, and that was after I filed the motion. The tdoc wants dad and son to attend sessions together.

Why does dad and son need therapy together?Other than the educational aspects of dad finding out about son's treatment?

I'm requesting dad see this tdoc so that dad can better understand the emotional needs of our child, the scope of child's disorder, the importance of not stopping psychtropic meds unless directed and supervised by the prescribing doctor. The tdoc wants to see how our son acts with dad, how dad responds to our son, etc. Dad did not give our son his psychotropic meds when son was in his care for a week. This caused the child to have a major episode. I have Intermittent FMLA from work (I am an RN), to care for our son during his episodes or appointments. I had to take FMLA when our son had this episode, so I could care for him and take him to see his tdoc and pdoc(psychiatrist).

 

[Ohiogal]

Now it is making sense. It is likely a judge would agree especially if you bring the therapist in as a witness to testify.

 

[Madison31]

Thank you for your responses, and your continued questions so that I could clarify.

I appreciate it.