Allowing teenager to decide absent a court order

[Isis1]

Definately.

And I guess I can understand her not wanting to come to me and say, "Hey Pops, there's this dude, and I'm thinking about banging him. Wanna discuss?"

Even though I promised not to freak out, it'd be a stretch.

So if she wants to talk to SM about that kind of stuff, cool. I trust me wife to lead her in the right direction.

Funny story -

About a year ago, when Punkin was 14, my wife and Punkin were in the car, on the interstate, when Punkin asked my wife what a bj was.

My wife said she damn near hit the guardrail, and did spit coke all over her lap. It was just so out of the blue. One minute they were listening to the radio, and the next Punkin pops out with, "What's a BJ?" But said the whole word.

So wife explained what that meant, and Punkin was like, "EWWWWW, GROSS! Why would someone want to do that? That is just nasty. They PEE outta that!"

My wife is sarcastic by nature, and when she related the story to me later that night, she asked me, "Gee, do you think I should have told Punkin that a BJ is what makes you the MOST popular girl in school?" This was said strictly in jest of course, but I laughed my butt off.

LMFAO!! your wife is funny.

 

[2Mistakes]

LMFAO!! your wife is funny.

Oh, she has her moments!

Her sarcasm is actually a pretty good thing. She balances me out. As I'm sure you have all realized by now, I can be a bit high-strung and anal, to say the least.

I can be venting to her (not just about the ex, but life in general) and she'll pop out with some witty 1-liner, and I'll stop for a minute and then say, "I'm such a dumbass."

So then of course she'll say, "Ya know, I wasn't going to come out and say that, but since YOU said it, yeah, you're a dumbass."

Gotta love her.

 

[stealth2]

Punkin: "Well, for the last couple of years, I haven't really felt close to mom. She's never around. She chose Mr. B (mom's boyfriend) over us. She only wants us in her life when it's convenient for her. I've tried acting like everything is normal when I talk to her or see her, but that game is getting old. I get so tired when I have to pretend like me and mom have the same relationship we used to have. We just don't.

So lately when I talk to her, I haven't really had much to say. I'm not comfortable talking to her about my friends and boys and all that. She doesn't know my friends. So I really haven't had much to say.

So the last time I talked to her, she asked me what my deal was. She wanted to know why I don't tell her more. She said she was mad that I hadn't told her that J broke up with me. And I decided to just be honest.

And I told her the reason I don't tell her more about my life is because I don't feel close to her anymore. That she has chosen her great new life over me and Pee-Wee and Short-Stuff, and that I'm fine with that, but she can't expect things to just be normal. That's when she said all stuff to me."

Sigh... BTDT. My oldest deals with it by shrugging and immersing himself in his music, and counting the hours 'til he comes home. My youngest kisses up to their Dad and then brings her frustation home in all of its 15yo glory. That's a real joy. It's not even that Dad doesn't know their friends, their interests, etc. It's that he doesn't even make the effort to find out about them. If it's not something he's interested in, it just isn't important. (Boy, do I know about THAT!) Heck - they live with me and *I* don't always know everything! But when #1 starts talking about so-and-so, it's "Whoa, back it up a second! Who is so-and-so, so I can keep things straight in my head!"

LOL Speaking of saying things you shouldn't say... After one particularly intense 14yo moment (well... they tend to drag on more than a moment), I said "You know I love you, but sometimes.... <pause to gather my words>" which she turned into "You know I love you - sometimes." Oy. Still... it's become a joke between us. "I know Mom... you love me. *Some*times." She gets a in return.