bad judge, apathetic atty

[graymonkey1]

What is the name of your state? IL
i have been seeking to implement supervised visitation for when my X visits with our 5 year old. My X is a drug/crack addict. the court is aware of his addiction (from tests it ordered years ago). We were able to order another hair follicle drug test to determine if there is continued drug usage by my X. My X told the judge he was clean for 2 years now. Subsequently, he refused to take test, took a urine test instead, shaved his body, walked out of court, then finally took the test and refused to release the results. This has taken 10 months. we finally have the results. they were positive. In the interim, my X provided the judge with another independent test where the results show negative drug usage (he manipulated the results.....he originally told me that they were positive). The judge refuses to order supervision, refuses to take my child's safety seriously. i'm not sure what i can do at this point. My atty tells me that we can't change judges. what recourse do i have?

 

[moburkes]

How do you knwow that he will use drugs/alcohol while in the presence of your children? What proof do you have that he has done it before?

 

[Silverplum]

Just as an aside, what work have you done to change the laws of your state to favor custodial parents?

 

[graymonkey1]

i know because my child told me so

How do you knwow that he will use drugs/alcohol while in the presence of your children? What proof do you have that he has done it before?

its hard to tell whether what a 5 year old says is truth or fiction. but when asked whether her father drinks beer or wine when she's there...she answers a resounding YES. My X even told me that his new GF (whom he lives with) is an active alcoholic. if you know anything about addicts, you know that the pull to use drugs defies common sense. they use at risk of losing family, friends, jobs, homes, and lives. for them its not a matter of exercising good judgement and proper timing (i.e., my daughter is coming in 20 minutes so i'd better put the crack pipe down...).
my daughter was assigned an atty so that she was properly represented. this atty interviewed her this past monday. he asked her a series of questions. she answered "yes, he drinks, ALOT. his GF gets really silly when she drinks. he drank alot of wine at thanksgiving, he drives me on his lap, blah blah blah". our divorce decree states that my X is NOT to drink or do drugs prior to visitation or during visitation. yet the decree isn't a court order.
the judge knows all this, yet she doesn't think its sufficient enough information to do anything. my X walked out of court a few times on this judge (in a huff) and she did nothing. literally walked out of court. what's going on?

 

[moburkes]

Drinking beer in front of your child is not abuse. Being an alcoholic is not abuse. Why are you questioning a 5 year old anyway? How does a 5 year old define "a lot"?

 

[seniorjudge]

...its hard to tell whether what a 5 year old says is truth or fiction....

No it isn't. Their lips move when they lie.

 

[CJane]

yet the decree isn't a court order.

Huh?

Honestly, unless you can PROVE that he's using illegal drugs in the presence of the child, you're going to have NO LUCK at all w/the supervised thing.

 

[Silverplum]

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=312052

I was hoping for an answer to my q --> how's your legal project going?

 

[ceara19]

...its hard to tell whether what a 5 year old says is truth or fiction....

No it isn't. Their lips move when they lie.

Even if she doesn't want to believe that her little angel is capable of outright lying to her face, most (actually ALL) children of divorce will tell the parent what they think the parent WANTS to hear, especially when they are being interrogated.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

its hard to tell whether what a 5 year old says is truth or fiction. but when asked whether her father drinks beer or wine when she's there...she answers a resounding YES. My X even told me that his new GF (whom he lives with) is an active alcoholic. if you know anything about addicts, you know that the pull to use drugs defies common sense. they use at risk of losing family, friends, jobs, homes, and lives. for them its not a matter of exercising good judgement and proper timing (i.e., my daughter is coming in 20 minutes so i'd better put the crack pipe down...).
my daughter was assigned an atty so that she was properly represented. this atty interviewed her this past monday. he asked her a series of questions. she answered "yes, he drinks, ALOT. his GF gets really silly when she drinks. he drank alot of wine at thanksgiving, he drives me on his lap, blah blah blah". our divorce decree states that my X is NOT to drink or do drugs prior to visitation or during visitation. yet the decree isn't a court order.the judge knows all this, yet she doesn't think its sufficient enough information to do anything. my X walked out of court a few times on this judge (in a huff) and she did nothing. literally walked out of court. what's going on?

How dumb are you really?

 

[graymonkey1]

How dumb are you really?

geez. what ever happened to common courtesy? i'm asking a question. if you don't have an answer, then don't respond.

the point is that my X is an admitted addict. test results don't lie. the hair follicle test is nearly 100% accurate. this PROVES that he's doing drugs. all i'm trying to do is safeguard my child when she's around an active user of drugs. does anyone have any real counsel?

 

[seniorjudge]

Q: does anyone have any real counsel?

A: If I had a child and a dope addict wanted to take that child, I would go to jail before I would let the doper have the kid.

 

[moburkes]

You can pay for an attorney, or you can listen to the advice that you were already given. He is your child's father. He has rights and responsibilities. Unless you can PROVE that he uses ILLEGAL drugs while in the presence of your children, there is nothing that you can do.

 

[graymonkey1]

drinking beer in front of child is not abuse

Drinking beer in front of your child is not abuse. Being an alcoholic is not abuse. Why are you questioning a 5 year old anyway? How does a 5 year old define "a lot"?

i agree that drinking in front of your child is not abuse. but alcoholic behavior and addict behavior puts minors at risk. alcoholics drive drunk. alcoholics drive drunk with children in the car. drug addicts get high and leave their children unattended. a 5 year old isn't in a position to be left unattended. addicts don't use ANY judgment when using.
i agree that questioning a 5 year old is kind of crazy. but the court ordered my daughter's atty to interview her. those words were the outcome of the interview.
if a divorce decree clearly states that the parent (my X) is NOT to drink or do drugs before or during visitation....and he does, is that considered illegal? or just a minor breach of a "contract?"

 

[moburkes]

i agree that drinking in front of your child is not abuse. but alcoholic behavior and addict behavior puts minors at risk. alcoholics drive drunk. alcoholics drive drunk with children in the car. drug addicts get high and leave their children unattended. a 5 year old isn't in a position to be left unattended. addicts don't use ANY judgment when using.
i agree that questioning a 5 year old is kind of crazy. but the court ordered my daughter's atty to interview her. those words were the outcome of the interview.
if a divorce decree clearly states that the parent (my X) is NOT to drink or do drugs before or during visitation....and he does, is that considered illegal? or just a minor breach of a "contract?"

People who are not alcoholics drive drunk. People who are not addicts leave their children unattended.

No, it is not illegal. That means that you can't even have a glass of wine with dinner, if YOU wanted to. How long before visitation is "before"? An hour, 5 minutes, 2 weeks, 1 month?