bad judge, apathetic atty

[fairisfair]

i agree that drinking in front of your child is not abuse. but alcoholic behavior and addict behavior puts minors at risk. alcoholics drive drunk. alcoholics drive drunk with children in the car. drug addicts get high and leave their children unattended. a 5 year old isn't in a position to be left unattended. addicts don't use ANY judgment when using.
i agree that questioning a 5 year old is kind of crazy. but the court ordered my daughter's atty to interview her. those words were the outcome of the interview.
if a divorce decree clearly states that the parent (my X) is NOT to drink or do drugs before or during visitation....and he does, is that considered illegal? or just a minor breach of a "contract?"

if the divorce decree states it, and it is signed by a judge, then it is a court order. Failure to abide is contempt.

 

[graymonkey1]

apples and oranges?

You can pay for an attorney, or you can listen to the advice that you were already given. He is your child's father. He has rights and responsibilities. Unless you can PROVE that he uses ILLEGAL drugs while in the presence of your children, there is nothing that you can do.

would a convicted child molestor get unsupervised visitation of his own children? what if the child he molested wasn't his own? if a person has a history of illegal and dangerous behavior, disregard for the law, etc., wouldn't it make sense that he would excercise the same bad judgment across the board?

thank you for your comments. i now understand why some kids end up on the back of a milk carton. i'm betting dollars to donuts that one of the parents leaves town with the kid(s) because they're having no luck protecting them through the court system. you can't do your kids any good if you're in jail.

 

[Silverplum]

What a shame that your planned big child advocacy program has come to naught.

 

[moburkes]

Is he a convicted child molester?

 

[graymonkey1]

People who are not alcoholics drive drunk. People who are not addicts leave their children unattended.

No, it is not illegal. That means that you can't even have a glass of wine with dinner, if YOU wanted to. How long before visitation is "before"? An hour, 5 minutes, 2 weeks, 1 month?

i believe the "before" portion of the decree was purposefully left ambiguous.
it appears that i either have to leave the country with my kid or deal with the fact that my X will have visitation (high or otherwise) and there's not a legal thing i can do about it. the system sucks.

what is a parent supposed to do to protect their kid?

 

[graymonkey1]

What a shame that your planned big child advocacy program has come to naught.

what the heck are you talking about?

 

[fairisfair]

i believe the "before" portion of the decree was purposefully left ambiguous.
it appears that i either have to leave the country with my kid or deal with the fact that my X will have visitation (high or otherwise) and there's not a legal thing i can do about it. the system sucks.

what is a parent supposed to do to protect their kid?

Please keep in mind that you are getting legal answers here. Those answers do not necessarily represent anyone's personal feelings.

 

[Silverplum]

what the heck are you talking about?

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=312052

 

[graymonkey1]

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=312052

ah, yes. truth is, i've been working on an article with chicago reporter about what i call a broken system. the fact that judges have such wide sweeping power and no checks/balances in place. the fact that a child rep can make a recommendation, but isn't accountable for it and can't be questioned based on his recommendation, etc. my current atty has offered his assistance (albeit anonymous assistance) in the "cause".
ah so much to change.

 

[graymonkey1]

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=312052

ah, yes. truth is, i've been working on an article with chicago reporter about what i call a broken system. the fact that judges have such wide sweeping power and no checks/balances in place. the fact that a child rep can make a recommendation, but isn't accountable for it and can't be questioned based on his recommendation, etc. my current atty has offered his assistance (albeit anonymous assistance) in the "cause".
ah so much to change.

 

[ceara19]

Q: does anyone have any real counsel?

A: If I had a child and a dope addict wanted to take that child, I would go to jail before I would let the doper have the kid.

But I'm betting YOU are smart enough not to procreate with a crackhead!

 

[graymonkey1]

But I'm betting YOU are smart enough not to procreate with a crackhead!

believe me, i was naive to addiction when i married and had a child with my X. pot smoking and alcohol abuse are so prevalent in this country that the courts don't even consider it an issue as relates to child visitation. My attorney told me that if the courts banned visitation from all pot smokers, no one would see their kids. I'm perplexed at the court's lax attitudes toward something that is illegal (drugs). Even if pot is considered a "tiny" drug, its still a drug and still illegal.

 

[ceara19]

believe me, i was naive to addiction when i married and had a child with my X. pot smoking and alcohol abuse are so prevalent in this country that the courts don't even consider it an issue as relates to child visitation. My attorney told me that if the courts banned visitation from all pot smokers, no one would see their kids. I'm perplexed at the court's lax attitudes toward something that is illegal (drugs). Even if pot is considered a "tiny" drug, its still a drug and still illegal.

WRONG!!! My ex received NO visitation because of his "problems" with alcohol. And it was JUST alcohol, nothing else, no drugs, no violence, NOTHING other then a whole lot of beer. His rights were recently terminated because he chose not to address his ALCOHOL problem at anytime over the past 6 years. So, you are WRONG! Alcohol and drugs CAN and DO play a part in custody rulings. Your attorney is an idiot if he thinks NO ONE would see their children if pot smokers were not allowed visitation. I don't smoke pot, my friends don't smoke pot, as a matter of fact, I can't name ONE parent that I know that DOES smoke pot. Hell, I didn't even smoke pot when I went to Amsterdam, where it was perfectly LEGAL! Some parents really are concerned with being good, law abiding citizens as well as good parents. The 2 generally go hand in hand.

 

[CJane]

I don't smoke pot, my friends don't smoke pot, as a matter of fact, I can't name ONE parent that I know that DOES smoke pot.

Really? Because I thought all ex's smoked pot. Hell, I thought that at least 1/2 of them were abusive crack heads.

Dammit, I hate being wrong.

 

[ceara19]

Really? Because I thought all ex's smoked pot. Hell, I thought that at least 1/2 of them were abusive crack heads.

Dammit, I hate being wrong.

You're not wrong, you just misread. At least 1/2 of them are drug DEALERS, but not all of those actually use what they sell.