bad judge, apathetic atty

[graymonkey1]

WRONG!!! My ex received NO visitation because of his "problems" with alcohol. And it was JUST alcohol, nothing else, no drugs, no violence, NOTHING other then a whole lot of beer. His rights were recently terminated because he chose not to address his ALCOHOL problem at anytime over the past 6 years. So, you are WRONG! Alcohol and drugs CAN and DO play a part in custody rulings. Your attorney is an idiot if he thinks NO ONE would see their children if pot smokers were not allowed visitation. I don't smoke pot, my friends don't smoke pot, as a matter of fact, I can't name ONE parent that I know that DOES smoke pot. Hell, I didn't even smoke pot when I went to Amsterdam, where it was perfectly LEGAL! Some parents really are concerned with being good, law abiding citizens as well as good parents. The 2 generally go hand in hand.

who is your atty? i'm switching. the fact that i've been getting bogus counsel (AND PAYING FOR IT) is beyond belief, esp. as regards a child's safety. but i will say that the judge herself told me that she doesn't care about pot or alcohol usage. she's concerned with coke/crack. how is this possible?

 

[CJane]

the judge herself told me that she doesn't care about pot or alcohol usage.

First, there's a difference between usage and abuse. Second, judges have all the discretion in the world when it comes to family law matters. If the judge doesn't think it's a big deal, it's not going to be a big deal.

she's concerned with coke/crack. how is this possible?

There's quite a lot of evidence that crack/cocaine users routinely engage in behaviors that could reasonably be presumed to harm children either directly (violence) or indirectly (criminal behavior to get the next high).

There is very little, if any, evidence that people who smoke pot/drink alcohol (barring abuse of those substances) are more likely than anyone else to engage in such behaviors.

 

[ceara19]

who is your atty? i'm switching. the fact that i've been getting bogus counsel (AND PAYING FOR IT) is beyond belief, esp. as regards a child's safety. but i will say that the judge herself told me that she doesn't care about pot or alcohol usage. she's concerned with coke/crack. how is this possible?

I went through several attorneys. The Judge would NOT even hear the case until I hired a lawyer to protect the CHILDREN's interests. I hired an attorney for the children and I continued to represent myself. The reason I went through so many attorneys is because I had to keep firing them when they did things I SPECIFICALLY told them NOT to, such as speaking with his attorneys without me being a party to the conversations.

As CJane explained, there is a huge difference between USE and ABUSE. Another huge factor is money. Without a well documented history of not only alcohol and/or substance abuse AND documented proof that the abuse has and will continue to adversely affect the children, the "proof" has to be bought in the form of expert witnesses, psychological evaluations, home studies, private investigators and so on. None of those things are cheap. I had to cash out my retirement, drain my savings, max out my credit cards, sold everything of any value that I owned and borrow money on top of all that to finance a divorce, that went on for 2+ YEARS, in which the ONLY thing I ended up with was my children.

If it's not something that you can AFFORD to follow through with, there's no point in even starting.

 

[LdiJ]

I went through several attorneys. The Judge would NOT even hear the case until I hired a lawyer to protect the CHILDREN's interests. I hired an attorney for the children and I continued to represent myself. The reason I went through so many attorneys is because I had to keep firing them when they did things I SPECIFICALLY told them NOT to, such as speaking with his attorneys without me being a party to the conversations.

As CJane explained, there is a huge difference between USE and ABUSE. Another huge factor is money. Without a well documented history of not only alcohol and/or substance abuse AND documented proof that the abuse has and will continue to adversely affect the children, the "proof" has to be bought in the form of expert witnesses, psychological evaluations, home studies, private investigators and so on. None of those things are cheap. I had to cash out my retirement, drain my savings, max out my credit cards, sold everything of any value that I owned and borrow money on top of all that to finance a divorce, that went on for 2+ YEARS, in which the ONLY thing I ended up with was my children.

If it's not something that you can AFFORD to follow through with, there's no point in even starting.

There does appear to be some documentation that the ex has a problem with crack. That's a serious drug that is almost impossible to use without abuse. It really messes people up.

Someone can drink occasionally or smoke pot occasionally without it taking over their lives....crack is really a different story. If the ex is still using crack, eventually OP is likely to have all of the documentation needed....lets just hope that the children don't get caught up in the mess.

 

[graymonkey1]

There does appear to be some documentation that the ex has a problem with crack. That's a serious drug that is almost impossible to use without abuse. It really messes people up.

Someone can drink occasionally or smoke pot occasionally without it taking over their lives....crack is really a different story. If the ex is still using crack, eventually OP is likely to have all of the documentation needed....lets just hope that the children don't get caught up in the mess.

the whole idea of my child getting caught up in this mess is exactly what i'm trying to avoid. both emotionally and physically. there is evidence that my X is still using crack (most recent hair follicle test = positive). his behavior is consistent with what it was when i left him and he was using. if i were to hire a private detective, would his evidence be admitted or denied in court?
The court did assign a child rep/atty who sides with my X. even in the face of positive crack drug tests, he sides with my X....not with the safety of the child, his client.
my X told the court that he took a separate hair follicle test for drugs which he said was negative (he originally TOLD me that it was positive). the second test he took was not court ordered and we did not receive the results directly from the drug test facility, but rather from my X. once again, he has a history of manipulating results (scanning, photoshop, etc.). the judge however stated that she was perplexed at how 2 tests could net different results. We asked that the judge order the facility to produce the results directly to the court. she refused stating that my X's HIPPA rights would be violated.....yet she would still admit his bogus results into the argument. to me its obvious that she's biased and there's not too much i can do about it.
i have, however, made an appt with a different atty for wed.