can my live in boyfriend ban my mom

[cjoesgirl]

Re the bolded: Not without some evidence of abuse or neglect of a dependent. Besides, he doesn't want her arrested. She is the only person available to take care of him.

I don't know but during the fight he did say he would call the cops on me and claim abuse.

 

[Zigner]

in the beginning, before I could see how manipulative he was I agreed to take care of him

Forever...?

 

[cjoesgirl]

People get arrested in domestic situations very readily. It's easy for people not to be at their best dealing with strong emotions. He might want revenge or 'prevenge' on her if he know or senses she is withdrawing emotionally. It's not unheard of. Dealing with accusations alone could be convoluted, costly and painful.

he is a revengeful type person, he won't talk to anyone in his family.

 

[LdiJ]

I don't know but during the fight he did say he would call the cops on me and claim abuse.

Then you really need to get out. Some day he will call the cops and make that accusation. In the end, I do not think that you would end up in trouble, but it could make your life miserable for a while.

 

[Just Blue]

he is a revengeful type person, he won't talk to anyone in his family.

So move out.

 

[Just Blue]

I don't know but during the fight he did say he would call the cops on me and claim abuse.

And yet you still refer to him as your boyfriend...Why is that?

 

[Zigner]

You are not a slave, nor are you an indentured servant (both are illegal). Move.

 

[cjoesgirl]

And this is your problem because... ?

I know it should not be but It is hard to just walk away after 12 years.

 

[cjoesgirl]

And yet you still refer to him as your boyfriend...Why is that?

I guess just habit, we have been together for a long time.

 

[xylene]

Consider to talk to a women's shelter.

This is severe emotional abuse.

 

[Just Blue]

I know it should not be but It is hard to just walk away after 12 years.

Then stay and stop complaining.

But just for your information ...it is really not hard to walk away...

 

[cjoesgirl]

Then you really need to get out. Some day he will call the cops and make that accusation. In the end, I do not think that you would end up in trouble, but it could make your life miserable for a while.

I know, I am trying to get things figured out, I know I need to be smart about leaving. I need to have a plan and my ducks in a row. The whole thing with my mom is because I said she would come help me leave.

 

[cjoesgirl]

Then stay and stop complaining.

But just for your information ...it is really not hard to walk away...

I am sorry, I did not mean for it to sound like that. I started by just wanting to know if my mom would be arrested.

 

[Just Blue]

I am sorry, I did not mean for it to sound like that. I started by just wanting to know if my mom would be arrested.

You were answered. Gather you personal belongings and just leave. Everything else can be replaced.

 

[stealth2]

in the beginning, before I could see how manipulative he was I agreed to take care of him

And, uumm, you're not married to him. So you can walk away.

Wait - it took 12 years to realize he's manipulative?