Can physical force be used?

[Moonpie0418]

What is the name of your state? Virginia

Ex-husband petitioned JDR court to allow our 10 yr old daughter to attend and participate in his wedding on 7/28. Requested her from 1pm to 10pm. Judge allowed it but with a supervisor. Current visition in place is very limited--2 hours on the 1st and 3rd sunday of each month.

I appealed to circuit court and judge gives daughter to him from 1pm to 10pm that day, no supervisor(she's an epileptic), no information for me as to where she will be, and I have to provide info on seizure control. Judge said if once we arrived at the drop off point, child did not want to go, father could not force her to go.

Can he physically force her to get out of the vehicle, by pulling her out? Some say he can use force and others say not. I will have a neutral person with us and a video camera -- just in case.

Thanks you for help.

 

[tigger22472]

What is the name of your state? Virginia

Ex-husband petitioned JDR court to allow our 10 yr old daughter to attend and participate in his wedding on 7/28. Requested her from 1pm to 10pm. Judge allowed it but with a supervisor. Current visition in place is very limited--2 hours on the 1st and 3rd sunday of each month.

I appealed to circuit court and judge gives daughter to him from 1pm to 10pm that day, no supervisor(she's an epileptic), no information for me as to where she will be, and I have to provide info on seizure control. Judge said if once we arrived at the drop off point, child did not want to go, father could not force her to go.

Can he physically force her to get out of the vehicle, by pulling her out? Some say he can use force and others say not. I will have a neutral person with us and a video camera -- just in case.

Thanks you for help.

This made no sense... you say the judge said the father could not force her.

Then you ask if he can physically force her out of the car...

You answered your question before you asked it.

 

[acmb05]

What is the name of your state? Virginia

Ex-husband petitioned JDR court to allow our 10 yr old daughter to attend and participate in his wedding on 7/28. Requested her from 1pm to 10pm. Judge allowed it but with a supervisor. Current visition in place is very limited--2 hours on the 1st and 3rd sunday of each month.

I appealed to circuit court and judge gives daughter to him from 1pm to 10pm that day, no supervisor(she's an epileptic), no information for me as to where she will be, and I have to provide info on seizure control. Judge said if once we arrived at the drop off point, child did not want to go, father could not force her to go.

Can he physically force her to get out of the vehicle, by pulling her out? Some say he can use force and others say not. I will have a neutral person with us and a video camera -- just in case.

Thanks you for help.

What kind of stupid order is that? So basically you could drill into her head for a day or two that she should tell her dad she don't want to go so when he shows up thats what she says and he can't make her. Why even make the order in the first place if it can't be enforced.

My opinion: you should never use Force to get a child to do something.

Just goes to show that sometimes you should leave well enough alone. you did not want her to go even with a supervisor so you appeal and he gets her anyway and now no supervision.

 

[graybeard1952]

What kind of stupid order is that? So basically you could drill into her head for a day or two that she should tell her dad she don't want to go so when he shows up thats what she says and he can't make her. Why even make the order in the first place if it can't be enforced.

My opinion: you should never use Force to get a child to do something.

Just goes to show that sometimes you should leave well enough alone. you did not want her to go even with a supervisor so you appeal and he gets her anyway and now no supervision.

She better get out of her own way. At this rate she will have lost custody by years end.

 

[Rushia]

She better get out of her own way. At this rate she will have lost custody by years end.

The man is getting married, why does OP have to be so horrible about it. Why can't dad be trained on how to handle the daughter's condition?

 

[graybeard1952]

The man is getting married, why does OP have to be so horrible about it. Why can't dad be trained on how to handle the daughter's condition?

That would be a loss of control for the OP.

 

[tigger22472]

The man is getting married, why does OP have to be so horrible about it. Why can't dad be trained on how to handle the daughter's condition?

Because MOM's are the only ones that can take care of kids when their sick... didn't you know that??? AND why should this child be traumatized by having to watch her father marry some LEGAL stranger?

 

[Rushia]

That would be a loss of control for the OP.

I know, silly me. When my ex got married, I asked SM what she wanted the kids to wear, dressed them, took them to the court house, video taped the wedding for them, went to the reception, babysat their little one overnight. Hmmm, I must of messed up somewhere.

 

[Rushia]

Because MOM's are the only ones that can take care of kids when their sick... didn't you know that??? AND why should this child be traumatized by having to watch her father marry some LEGAL stranger?

Well, according to my ex, I should be taking care of them when they are sick. J/K, he usually leaves them home cause we don't want his little one to get sick.

 

[texastepmom]

I know, silly me. When my ex got married, I asked SM what she wanted the kids to wear, dressed them, took them to the court house, video taped the wedding for them, went to the reception, babysat their little one overnight. Hmmm, I must of messed up somewhere.

wow Rushia, i wish you were my husbands ex! I'd love to have the kind of relationship... but it's hard when her new husband makes death threats to my husband...

 

[Rushia]

wow Rushia, i wish you were my husbands ex! I'd love to have the kind of relationship... but it's hard when her new husband makes death threats to my husband...

You should be here when we all have dinner together!!! The kids love it. My ex and I decided shortly after the divorce that our children shouldn't suffer just because we didn't want to be together anymore. My theory on SM was that as long as she was good to our kids, what else mattered? Her and I ending up friends just made it better. Hehehe, drives ex nutty when she and I dump the kids on our hubbies and go out together....

 

[Halls]

Heck , the weekend my ex got married to SM I had gotten son dressed all nice for the rehersal dinner and asked my ex if he needed any other nice clothes for the wedding, but he didn't cause he had a tux ready.

 

[Moonpie0418]

I didn't post for advice to get bashed. I have my daughters best interest at heart. Her father is the one that stated in court yesterday that she is NOT epileptic and will not give her her medicine if need be. I have told my daughter that I didn't care if she went, she's the one who is stating that she does not want to go. How in the world am I going to lose custody? Because I won't pull her out of my vehicle and throw her to her dad? Granted, posting here, no one knows everything that has happened through the years. But given that she has very limited visitation of 2 hours 2 times a month, doesn't that send up some red flags to anyone that has posted this far? Thanks for responding, but I don't feel I deserve to be bashed.

 

[Moonpie0418]

Wanted to add: how busy do you think Dad and the bride will be on their wedding day? Do you think he'll even really notice his daughter? Probably not, since at all visitations he spends his time with his fiancee talking or playing basketball with the guys at the park.

 

[mb94]

He wants daughter at his wedding, which is totally reasonable. You want to make sure that daughter is safe while out of your care. Also reasonable. So why don't you try to work this out between yourselves. You will make sure that daughter goes to the wedding but she will bring along someone with her in case she has any medical need (family friend, neutral third party, babysitter even). It's pretty much what the first court ordered and I fail to understand why you wouldn't go along with it.

I didn't want to go to my Dad's wedding to my stepmom when I was 12. Not because I didn't love the guy but because at that age I didn't want to waste a Saturday hanging out with grownups being all romantic. But I would feel terrible as an adult looking back if I had not been there.

No, he can't drag her out of the car. But do you want to have to place your child in a situation where she has to see how much she is disappointing her father? And I don't think that it's horrible that he spends his visitation playing basketball and talking to his wife-to-be. He's trying to work his child into his regular life. You may think that he should spend that whole time doing nothing but talking to her but that is your opinion. There are lots of different parenting styles. As long as he isn't abusing her then it really doesn't matter.