Can physical force be used?

[tigger22472]

How in the world am I going to lose custody? Because I won't pull her out of my vehicle and throw her to her dad?

The idea behind the statement made was that you believed that you knew best and appealed the judge's order and instead of getting your way the supervisor was removed but the visitation remained. If you would have left well enough alone then it wouldn't have been so bad.

I have told my daughter that I didn't care if she went, she's the one who is stating that she does not want to go.

The fact that you appealed the judge's order as you did indicates that the child more than likely KNOWS that you do not want her to go. You have indicated even here, let alone in court your feelings and it's difficult to hide that from a child. Not to mention children are very quick to please and tell a parent what they think they want to hear. How old is the child?

how busy do you think Dad and the bride will be on their wedding day? Do you think he'll even really notice his daughter? Probably not, since at all visitations he spends his time with his fiancee talking or playing basketball with the guys at the park.

How do you know this is ALL he's done on his visitation? From your daughter? Again they are not always the most accurate, and again, it could be that it's what she believes you want to hear. You want to hear how unattentive he is and you want to hear what a bad dad he really is to validate your own feelings.

As far as how busy they will be... will there not be any other relatives there? Do you not speak to or know any of them (parents, aunts, uncles etc...)? But you know what? How busy they are wouldn't have mattered one bit when the judge ordered a supervisor.....

 

[Rushia]

I didn't post for advice to get bashed. I have my daughters best interest at heart. Her father is the one that stated in court yesterday that she is NOT epileptic and will not give her her medicine if need be. I have told my daughter that I didn't care if she went, she's the one who is stating that she does not want to go. How in the world am I going to lose custody? Because I won't pull her out of my vehicle and throw her to her dad? Granted, posting here, no one knows everything that has happened through the years. But given that she has very limited visitation of 2 hours 2 times a month, doesn't that send up some red flags to anyone that has posted this far? Thanks for responding, but I don't feel I deserve to be bashed.

Having your daughters best interest at heart means encouraging her to spend time with her father. Obviously the judge wasn't concerned with what your ex said as he ordered 1-10pm with NO supervisor. That sends up a red flag to me concerning her condition. Are you possibly using daughters condition as a means to keep daddy away? If this is the case, the judge is going to see right thru you and yes, it could result in the loss of custody.

 

[GrowUp!]

Wanted to add: how busy do you think Dad and the bride will be on their wedding day? Do you think he'll even really notice his daughter? Probably not, since at all visitations he spends his time with his fiancee talking or playing basketball with the guys at the park.

"Hey, Alex...I'll take 'completely irrelevant and none of your business' for 1k, please."

 

[Rushia]

Wanted to add: how busy do you think Dad and the bride will be on their wedding day? Do you think he'll even really notice his daughter? Probably not, since at all visitations he spends his time with his fiancee talking or playing basketball with the guys at the park.

Even during the ceremony (mine and when ex got married), we paid plenty of attention. I noticed that both of my children were picking their noses. Got pics to prove it and fully intend to show them to future bf/gfs when they get older.

 

[tigger22472]

Having your daughters best interest at heart means encouraging her to spend time with her father. Obviously the judge wasn't concerned with what your ex said as he ordered 1-10pm with NO supervisor. That sends up a red flag to me concerning her condition. Are you possibly using daughters condition as a means to keep daddy away? If this is the case, the judge is going to see right thru you and yes, it could result in the loss of custody.

I stopped short of expressing this but it did also cross my mind.

It seems 'odd' that if the father said the things that he did and mom had PROOF of all of this to show the judge (assuming that she would since this seems to be the main argument) that he would have dismissed the order for a supervisor.

OP... What has been the seizure activity of your child? Does she have them on a regular basis? Did you take the proof of this to court with you, especially during the appeals process?

 

[Rushia]

I stopped short of expressing this but it did also cross my mind.

It seems 'odd' that if the father said the things that he did and mom had PROOF of all of this to show the judge (assuming that she would since this seems to be the main argument) that he would have dismissed the order for a supervisor.

OP... What has been the seizure activity of your child? Does she have them on a regular basis? Did you take the proof of this to court with you, especially during the appeals process?

I thought it odd from the get go. I find it very sad that dad had to go to court to make sure his daughter would be able to attend his wedding. Mom should have been gracious from the beginning. If she had, perhaps this whole thing could have been avoided and dad might have permitted daughter to bring the supervisor to ease mom's fears. I guess that's just my opinion and I am something of an oddity concerning my ex and his wife.

 

[MrsK]

Even during the ceremony (mine and when ex got married), we paid plenty of attention. I noticed that both of my children were picking their noses. Got pics to prove it and fully intend to show them to future bf/gfs when they get older.

Oh, good, so I'm not the only one who has saved embarrassing pics of my kids to show other ppl when they grow up

 

[LdiJ]

Although I understand the points that everyone is making, dad's regular visitation is supervised, two hours every other weekend. Since the child is 10, there had to be a pretty signficant reason for a judge to order that.

Therefore, it seems to me that either the circuit court judge just "blew it" when he made his orders, or he felt that there would be enough people at the wedding and reception to provide the necessary supervision. Also, since the judge said that dad couldn't force the child to go, then perhaps the judge only felt like the child would be going if the child really wanted to go.

Its pretty darn bad however if a child has epilepsy and one of the parents flat out refuses to acknowledge that and states that they won't give the child the seizure medicine if needed. That could be life threatening.

 

[ILOVEMYGSM3]

odd sh*t

is that originally he was only granted 4-8 hrs MONTHLY for visitation, and had to be supervised B/C of a MEDICAL condition, that the judge KNEW of...so apparently either the father has attempted to get some type of information stating he knew how to handle the situation if the child WERE to have a seizure, o rmaybe the case was sent to a DIFFERENT judge, who has not read the ENTIRE case file?...but at the same time, if it was the SAME judge that handled the cc hearing in the BEGINNING, then he also knew the father WOULD REFUSE medication...and if mom had PROOF of the medical condition, and dad REFUSES MEDS, would that not make him IRRESPONSIBLE and unable to care for the child ADEQUATELY? part of being RESPONSIBLE is ensuring your child has the MEDICAL ATTENTION HE/SHE NEEDS...wether you(as an NCP, in dad's case)believe it is right or wrong on how to treat...ALSO, is administering PRESCRIPTION, DAILY REQUIRED MEDICATIONS, not a NEED for the WELLBEING and PHYSICAL HEALTH of the child in question? if the father refuses the child the meds she needs to avoid an EPILEPTIC SEIZURE, then the supervision needs to CONTINUE, not be DIMINISHED...the OP's issue is not wether the child does/does not go to her dad's wedding, but that she will NOT BE ADEQUATELY MONITORED OR TAKEN CARE OF DURING AN EPILEPTIC SEIZURE...and, if ANYONE forces a child, ie dragging, pulling, etc...out of ANYTHING, i'd imagine SOMEONE should call the LAW, and let it be taken BACK TO COURT, to show the father DOES NOT care about the child's wellbeing, if he's willing to DRAG her off somewhere...
other posters-take into context this child is not used to being LEFT ALONE with this man...it's quite possible this is a FEAR of the CHILD'S own?

 

[Rushia]

Although I understand the points that everyone is making, dad's regular visitation is supervised, two hours every other weekend. Since the child is 10, there had to be a pretty signficant reason for a judge to order that.

OP doesn't say that his visitation is supervised, just limited to 2 hours 2x's per month. The supervision was to be for the wedding because of the large amount of time.

Therefore, it seems to me that either the circuit court judge just "blew it" when he made his orders, or he felt that there would be enough people at the wedding and reception to provide the necessary supervision. Also, since the judge said that dad couldn't force the child to go, then perhaps the judge only felt like the child would be going if the child really wanted to go.

It was ordered supervised at first and then cause mom pushed it, it got changed. As another poster mentioned, mom can fill the child's head with not wanting to go. Mom is taking a "neutral third party and a camera". Can you see a problem here? I do. It's called a setup.

Its pretty darn bad however if a child has epilepsy and one of the parents flat out refuses to acknowledge that and states that they won't give the child the seizure medicine if needed. That could be life threatening.

If it really was as bad as mom is making it sound then I really don't think any judge would order unsupervised for the time period specified for the wedding. When dad declared that in court, MOM should have handed the judge the med docs proving dad wrong. It sounds more to me that mom is making a mountain out of a molehill and using it as an excuse to keep dad away.

I'm sorry, L. I just don't see it the way you do.

 

[Moonpie0418]

I thought it odd from the get go. I find it very sad that dad had to go to court to make sure his daughter would be able to attend his wedding. Mom should have been gracious from the beginning. If she had, perhaps this whole thing could have been avoided and dad might have permitted daughter to bring the supervisor to ease mom's fears. I guess that's just my opinion and I am something of an oddity concerning my ex and his wife.

Kind of hard to be gracious when his first request to have her present as his wedding was simply telling her she would be there and then I receive papers for the court. He does not talk to me period. When I try and tell him something that he needs to know, he tells me that is not important and he will do what he wants with her. For example, child had strep throat and just finished the meds, I told him this. He said he would take her to the park anyways--wintertime. This is also the loving "daddy" that has not paid anything for her since 1999. Court order stated that father pays no support. Fine. But does he not think she grows, or eats. Even at visits, I provide her money, that she spends on food or drink, whatever when they're together. Even though he and his fiancee buy super size meals that I have seen and will eat them in front of her. I arrived on time with her, but he brings her back late. I took the info from doctors, etc. to court. Judges don't care that she has them. Their thing is Dad should know how to handle them. He does: put a spoon under her tongue, and call 911. That's his way of handling them and he told that to judge yesterday. So I have to provide correct methods of dealing with seizure.

 

[Rushia]

is that originally he was only granted 4-8 hrs MONTHLY for visitation, and had to be supervised B/C of a MEDICAL condition, that the judge KNEW of...so apparently either the father has attempted to get some type of information stating he knew how to handle the situation if the child WERE to have a seizure, o rmaybe the case was sent to a DIFFERENT judge, who has not read the ENTIRE case file?...but at the same time, if it was the SAME judge that handled the cc hearing in the BEGINNING, then he also knew the father WOULD REFUSE medication...and if mom had PROOF of the medical condition, and dad REFUSES MEDS, would that not make him IRRESPONSIBLE and unable to care for the child ADEQUATELY? part of being RESPONSIBLE is ensuring your child has the MEDICAL ATTENTION HE/SHE NEEDS...wether you(as an NCP, in dad's case)believe it is right or wrong on how to treat...ALSO, is administering PRESCRIPTION, DAILY REQUIRED MEDICATIONS, not a NEED for the WELLBEING and PHYSICAL HEALTH of the child in question? if the father refuses the child the meds she needs to avoid an EPILEPTIC SEIZURE, then the supervision needs to CONTINUE, not be DIMINISHED...the OP's issue is not wether the child does/does not go to her dad's wedding, but that she will NOT BE ADEQUATELY MONITORED OR TAKEN CARE OF DURING AN EPILEPTIC SEIZURE...and, if ANYONE forces a child, ie dragging, pulling, etc...out of ANYTHING, i'd imagine SOMEONE should call the LAW, and let it be taken BACK TO COURT, to show the father DOES NOT care about the child's wellbeing, if he's willing to DRAG her off somewhere...
other posters-take into context this child is not used to being LEFT ALONE with this man...it's quite possible this is a FEAR of the CHILD'S own?

Before you go on your rant, OP should answer the question posed by tigger concerning the child's actual condition. Being an epileptic could have several different variations. Please read the thread first. It does NOT say that dad is supervised, simply that he has "LIMITED" visitation. Supervision was granted for the wedding because of the length of time. Mom pushed it and it got changed.

 

[Silverplum]

Why isn't the child on CONSTANT medication? I've never heard of simply medicating at the time of seizure, only have heard of (and have personal family knowledge of) consistent daily meds to prevent seizure occurrence.

 

[Silverplum]

Kind of hard to be gracious when his first request to have her present as his wedding was simply telling her she would be there and then I receive papers for the court. He does not talk to me period. When I try and tell him something that he needs to know, he tells me that is not important and he will do what he wants with her. For example, child had strep throat and just finished the meds, I told him this. He said he would take her to the park anyways--wintertime. This is also the loving "daddy" that has not paid anything for her since 1999. Court order stated that father pays no support. Fine. But does he not think she grows, or eats. Even at visits, I provide her money, that she spends on food or drink, whatever when they're together. Even though he and his fiancee buy super size meals that I have seen and will eat them in front of her. I arrived on time with her, but he brings her back late. I took the info from doctors, etc. to court. Judges don't care that she has them. Their thing is Dad should know how to handle them. He does: put a spoon under her tongue, and call 911. That's his way of handling them and he told that to judge yesterday. So I have to provide correct methods of dealing with seizure.

How can you be mad at him for not paying CS when he is not ORDERED to pay CS??? This is weird.

 

[Rushia]

Kind of hard to be gracious when his first request to have her present as his wedding was simply telling her she would be there and then I receive papers for the court. He does not talk to me period. When I try and tell him something that he needs to know, he tells me that is not important and he will do what he wants with her. For example, child had strep throat and just finished the meds, I told him this. He said he would take her to the park anyways--wintertime. This is also the loving "daddy" that has not paid anything for her since 1999. Court order stated that father pays no support. Fine. But does he not think she grows, or eats. Even at visits, I provide her money, that she spends on food or drink, whatever when they're together. Even though he and his fiancee buy super size meals that I have seen and will eat them in front of her. I arrived on time with her, but he brings her back late. I took the info from doctors, etc. to court. Judges don't care that she has them. Their thing is Dad should know how to handle them. He does: put a spoon under her tongue, and call 911. That's his way of handling them and he told that to judge yesterday. So I have to provide correct methods of dealing with seizure.

All very pretty. Answer tigger's questions. As for the strep....so what? She finished her meds. Get over it. I've dealt with strep since I was a teen and so has my son (OK he's only 6, but has had it quite a few times). Provide him with the info and get over yourself.