Case for defamation, mental anguish?

[PayrollHRGuy]

Then I guess my case is more of a moral than a legal one, in which I had hoped most people would understand that I have a right to feel this way.

Most people would say to let it go, but I want at least someone higher up to understand why this is unfair.

If they are seriously concerned with me working with kids, they are now negligent for not reporting any of their concerns. However, it seems to me they have no concerns, but just don't want the drama of whatever students or parents have it in for me without justification, and I think a good person would step in and say they are going to do what is right over just whatever makes their life easier.

I'm not planning on contacting HR until the school year is almost over as emotions are still too high right now. For an allegation of that magnitude, they didn't investigate according to their policy, and if he handled it wrong, I might settle for having the assistant principal fired if I can't get the resolution I want.

You have every right to feel as you wish to feel, but the school nor the asst. principal has done anything illegal or IMHO immoral. I think you are kidding yourself if you think you are going to get him fired. In fact, you will likely only be hurting your chances of ever working for the district again.

 

[Just Blue]

The problem is, it's my problem, but I can't just let things go. That's why I'm hoping I have somewhat of an action to take that is justifiable as opposed to seeming revenge seeking and threatening, but still evens the score in a way. They have no right to treat me this way and should have to pay somehow.

You need therapeutic assistance in help you to get over it. I'd be pissed as well...but to dwell on it is not normal. Teens behave like little (fill in the blank) at times. As a teacher you are aware of this and should have the mental stability to deal with it.

 

[JackM678]

You have every right to feel as you wish to feel, but the school nor the asst. principle has done anything illegal or IMHO immoral. I think you are kidding yourself if you think you are going to get him fired. In fact, you will likely only be hurting your chances of ever working for the district again.

So, you're saying that blaming me for inappropriate language as their reason for not wanting me back without telling me what it is, and just preferring to not deal with the drama of a few naysayers instead of having the integrity to do what's right is not immoral? If I did something that was not enough for them to write it up, but still enough to not ask me back, then I have a right to know what that is as I'm still working at other schools, and if it's something they're are avoiding telling me to cover their asses and not put their foot in their mouths, that's immoral.

 

[cbg]

You do not have a right under the law to know squat. No one is saying you're wrong to be upset but nothing you have posted will support any kind of legal claim.

 

[JackM678]

Part of the problem is, that I have autism, so I'm sometimes unaware of how my behavior comes across if I'm not told. In the past, incidents getting me in trouble have usually been from a sarcastic remark taken seriously, not understanding the context of how my behavior would be viewed in the particular environment, or going too far with how I responded to an issue.

However, in this case, nothing I said or did could have possibly caused a student to take what I said as an oral sex remark, as even as a undiagnosed teenager with very little of a filter of what's appropriate, I wouldn't have said that.

What's upsetting me is I've been taking all appropriate actions from therapy sessions in the past of staying under the radar, limiting comments, and not divulging too much personal information in school settings. I've done all of this for the past 2 school years, and somehow a child manages to put me in the spotlight I've been trying to stay away from and made me a target in which I didn't bring it on at all by my own doing. So, I'm very hurt by the accusation, but more at the school for not having the slightest integrity to come out and say that some things are just wrong, and to try and avoid drama while making an innocent person the victim is just wrong.

So, now that I got my thoughts out, since what I'm discussing is no longer anything legal, I'll move this conversation over to a different medium, such as getting advice from others on how to appropriately relay my frustration to the school principal to at least get the satisfaction that they know how I feel and why they're wrong.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Part of the problem is, that I have autism, so I'm sometimes unaware of how my behavior comes across if I'm not told. In the past, incidents getting me in trouble have usually been from a sarcastic remark taken seriously, not understanding the context of how my behavior would be viewed in the particular environment, or going too far with how I responded to an issue.

However, in this case, nothing I said or did could have possibly caused a student to take what I said as an oral sex remark, as even as a undiagnosed teenager with very little of a filter of what's appropriate, I wouldn't have said that.

What's upsetting me is I've been taking all appropriate actions from therapy sessions in the past of staying under the radar, limiting comments, and not divulging too much personal information in school settings. I've done all of this for the past 2 school years, and somehow a child manages to put me in the spotlight I've been trying to stay away from and made me a target in which I didn't bring it on at all by my own doing. So, I'm very hurt by the accusation, but more at the school for not having the slightest integrity to come out and say that some things are just wrong, and to try and avoid drama while making an innocent person the victim is just wrong.

So, now that I got my thoughts out, since what I'm discussing is no longer anything legal, I'll move this conversation over to a different medium, such as getting advice from others on how to appropriately relay my frustration to the school principal to at least get the satisfaction that they know how I feel and why they're wrong.

I would highly advise against this. The principal does not need to know how you feel. The principal does not need to know that you are frustrated.

Of course, discuss this with your therapist, however... It has been my experience that nothing positive would be accomplished by the course of action you are considering.

The best course of action: hold your head high, don't burden people with your baggage, and show in your words and actions that you are a stand up person.

 

[Shadowbunny]

Part of the problem is, that I have autism, so I'm sometimes unaware of how my behavior comes across if I'm not told. In the past, incidents getting me in trouble have usually been from a sarcastic remark taken seriously, not understanding the context of how my behavior would be viewed in the particular environment, or going too far with how I responded to an issue.

However, in this case, nothing I said or did could have possibly caused a student to take what I said as an oral sex remark, as even as a undiagnosed teenager with very little of a filter of what's appropriate, I wouldn't have said that.

What's upsetting me is I've been taking all appropriate actions from therapy sessions in the past of staying under the radar, limiting comments, and not divulging too much personal information in school settings. I've done all of this for the past 2 school years, and somehow a child manages to put me in the spotlight I've been trying to stay away from and made me a target in which I didn't bring it on at all by my own doing. So, I'm very hurt by the accusation, but more at the school for not having the slightest integrity to come out and say that some things are just wrong, and to try and avoid drama while making an innocent person the victim is just wrong.

So, now that I got my thoughts out, since what I'm discussing is no longer anything legal, I'll move this conversation over to a different medium, such as getting advice from others on how to appropriately relay my frustration to the school principal to at least get the satisfaction that they know how I feel and why they're wrong.

Often, those who have autism have a very rigid idea of justice, and a strong belief that things MUST be fair. However, much of life isn't fair, and this is one of those situations. The earlier suggestion that you get counseling was a good one -- learning how to deal with life's unfair situations will serve you well.

 

[commentator]

check out the Tad Cummins case here in my state. A teacher was seen by a student who told the staff that he was behaving inappropriately (hugging/kissing a teenaged student.) When he was called in and asked about it, this fine fellow made such a fuss, was SO offended, hurt, frustrated, and so strongly denied the accusations that the school staff didn't carry it further, didn't take any kind of action. Later, he was caught again, pretty much red-handed, and this time, they were going to take action. So he kidnapped the 15 year old student he was having a relationship with, and ran away, held her hostage for an extended period, etc.

Now, several years later, he is in prison, and the former student is suing the school system for bunches of money because they failed to take appropriate actions when they heard the first complaint about this teacher. With things like this happening school districts are going to be more likely to tell their administrators to react to everything and anything that makes them even slightly uncomfortable with any teacher or substitute teacher, every student allegation, every hint of anything questionable.

And everyone, including those he worked with at prior jobs pointed out that this was a person who would not take no for an answer, that he pushed and pushed and pushed to be acknowledged as "right!" on every issue. In other words, he had a very rigid idea of justice and a feeling that things MUST be fair to him. He was a person who by behavior had already told people he could not and would not accept being dealt with any way he didn't like. And yielding to this and trying to avoid fighting it out with him simply on the word of a student is about to cost this school district a whole lot of money and probably this school administrator a job. It is the responsibility of an administrator to make judgment decisions about the people they ask to be substitutes.

I suspect that even in your very brief contact with this particular principal, you created some anxiety due to your demanding and somewhat rigid stance and interaction. And yes, they did elect not to have you back. Which was legal. Fair even. I wonder if your rigid and justice seeking nature and inability to let things roll off is going to serve you well in an educational setting. If teenagers ever find out that any fool with a mouth can get you going simply because of something they claim you said, or something they say about you, or your teaching, it's going to be a long tough career. And "fair" and "unfair" are the bread and butter of every teenager in the world.

 

[cbg]

how to appropriately relay my frustration to the school principal to at least get the satisfaction that they know how I feel and why they're wrong.

Well, you're not going to get any such advice from me, since I personally feel that relaying your frustration to anyone is just going to make matters worse, and quite frankly I'm not convinced that they are wrong. Please take careful note - I am NOT saying that you said anything inappropriate; I have no way of knowing if you did, didn't, or did but didn't realize how it would sound. If you say that there is absolutely no possible way anything you said could be misinterpreted, I will (somewhat skeptically) accept your word. That does not, however, mean that it was wrong for your employer to investigate or take appropriate action to make sure that nothing does happen if the evidence is inconclusive.

 

[RJR]

Jack, if you are thinking along the legal avenue of emotional damages, your State may not recognize the Causes of Actions for Intentional and or Negligent infliction of emotional distress against an employer??

Even if so, as cbg stated, that is not easy to establish on a medical basis, it is rather difficult.

 

[JackM678]

Let me clear up a few points here. I was not hugging or kissing any students. There is nothing for them to have suspicion for that they just can't prove beyond a reasonable doubt. They can ask me not to come back, but I want an answer, did they substantiate anything or not, and I'm going to keep presssing until they answer the question. I'm still employed at the district, and they took no action even as far as documenting it, so I want to know what I was doing that wasn't appropriate if anything, and that's my right.

 

[cbg]

No, it isn't. There is nothing in the law that says you're guaranteed an answer to all your questions. You're going to be pressing yourself right out of a job.

 

[JackM678]

Well, you're not going to get any such advice from me, since I personally feel that relaying your frustration to anyone is just going to make matters worse, and quite frankly I'm not convinced that they are wrong. Please take careful note - I am NOT saying that you said anything inappropriate; I have no way of knowing if you did, didn't, or did but didn't realize how it would sound. If you say that there is absolutely no possible way anything you said could be misinterpreted, I will (somewhat skeptically) accept your word. That does not, however, mean that it was wrong for your employer to investigate or take appropriate action to make sure that nothing does happen if the evidence is inconclusive.

There's nothing "inconclusive". There's no evidence in any way shape or form. If they interviewed students, they only ones who would claim I said that are ones who got together and agreed upon a story to make up, but I'm willing to bet every student in the room besides that one told the truth that they didn't hear anything.

So, basically the school that meant the most to me is now no longer an option for me because someone lied about me, and the administration just doesn't want to deal with whatever angry parent they told who believes their kid regardless of the evidence, so they're taking it out on me, and you all think I'm just supposed to get over it.

 

[Just Blue]

There's nothing "inconclusive". There's no evidence in any way shape or form. If they interviewed students, they only ones who would claim I said that are ones who got together and agreed upon a story to make up, but I'm willing to bet every student in the room besides that one told the truth that they didn't hear anything.

So, basically the school that meant the most to me is now no longer an option for me because someone lied about me, and the administration just doesn't want to deal with whatever angry parent they told who believes their kid regardless of the evidence, so they're taking it out on me, and you all think I'm just supposed to get over it.

You asked for advice. We gave you advice...do with it what you may.

 

[cbg]

You deal with it how you want. But when you get fired because you pushed and pushed and pushed and demanded information that you not only are not entitled to by law, but that they may well be prohibited from giving you, remember; you heard it here first.