child support use

[Wiggy Ex]

something bothering me?????

[" Something bothering me about thhis post...
First of all, the way that you use the term, "WE"... "WE are responsible for this..." "We are going to court for custody..." Last I checked, this was NOT YOUR CHILD to be fighting for... Let your fiance fight himself. I understand that yuo are part of his life now but you werent when that child was born so let those issues be between them.. You have no business butting in. Your income isnt counted toward support is it?? Then you have NO say in what she does with that money...It is hers after all...
Leave well enough alone...
and you refer to her as a bitch.. well do you know what happened in their house or their marriage to make her that way?? Did you live under their roof?? Perhaps he has done enough mean and unkind things in his time to her that she deserves to be bitter.. You call her names and say things, but have you ever seen her one on one alone with the child?? No I bet you havent, Unless you have hidden cameras in the house. Dont start throwing stones at the ex... Women like you give step parents a bad name... " ]

The above quoted from julie

my reply:

Well then, I do believe julie4796 is holding a big grudge against someone, but julie4796 you don't know me, you don't know the ex that I have to deal with, evidently you are the bitter one here and I feel bad for you that you have to go through life mad at the world.

I realize this child is not MY CHILD -- so what, that doesn't make me love him any less. And what butting in are you talking about? the fact that I am on this board asking questions? last I heard, that was perfectly acceptable. Just so you know, my fiance does handle "those issues", that doesn't mean I can't ask a question. I dated my fiance for a year and a half before me and the ex even had our first confrontation. I have done nothing to her but be nice to her and to HER CHILD.

And the comment "Leave well enough alone" you have no idea what you are even talking about. I realize that this may be the first time you have read anything I have written on this board, but you have no clue how this woman is or what she does and

IT IS NOT "WELL ENOUGH" WHEN THIS WOMAN SCREAMS INTO THE PHONE ON AN ANSWERING MACHINE ACTING LIKE A PSYCHO AND CURSING LIKE A SAILOR WITH THE CHILD IN THE SAME ROOM WITH HER CRYING IN THE BACKGROUND !!!!!!!!! (have 2 and a half cassette tapes full of messages left on the machine and conversations - ga is a one party state)

IT IS NOT "WELL ENOUGH" WHEN SHE TELLS THE CHILD THAT HIS DADDY IS LYING TO HIM, AND BADMOUTHS HIM JUST SO THE CHILD WON'T GO TO HIS HOUSE. (Have this on tape - several different occassions)

IT IS NOT "WELL ENOUGH" WHEN MY FIANCE HAS TO LEAVE WORK TO TAKE THE CHILD TO THE DOCTOR WHEN THE MOTHER DOESN'T EVEN GO TO WORK UNTIL 5PM IN THE AFTERNOON TO WORK FOR ABOUT 4 HRS A DAY -- JUST BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T WANT TO. (Happened several times and is documented)

IT IS NOT "WELL ENOUGH" WHEN SHE YELLS AT THE CHILD AND TELLS HIM "FINE, GO LIVE WITH YOUR DADDY, I DON'T CARE, I'LL TAKE YOU OVER THERE!!" JUST BECAUSE HE WANTS TO COME OVER AND ITS NOT OUR DAY TO HAVE HIM.

IT IS NOT "WELL ENOUGH" WHEN THE MOTHER LEAVES DEATH THREATS ON THE ANSWERING MACHINE FOR BOTH MYSELF AND MY FIANCE. (Documented at the police station)

And about me calling her a bi***, well, yes as a matter of fact - its a small town and I've known of her for about 10 years now, I know that she has a 21 year old daughter that she didn't raise, a 4 yr old with my fiance, and a 1 year old with some guy that left her as soon as she told him she was pregnant. I also know that she picks and chooses which kids she will keep (depends on the guy) and which ones she won't keep. Never graduated high school, and all the time she spent by herself without her first child, because grandma raised her, she never even went back to get her GED - but has never done nothing but waitressed and attended a gas station.

As a matter of fact, I have seen her with the child one on one, and guess what, he is a totally different child than the one that we know. He kicks her and stomps her toes and yells at her and tells her that he doesn't have to listen to her!! He acts the way he sees her act when he is with her. WE don't have those problems at our house -- HHMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, I beg to differ with you about the comment "people like you give step parents a bad name."

HA! People like me give step parents a good name thank you very much, all the times the mother left messages calling me every name in the book, every time she pulled some stupid crap and came to my fiances house to show her butt, every time she threatened (to my fiance) to kick my butt, through it all , I have never been nothing but nice to her, that child has never and will never hear me say a bad word about her, and I will continue to be the bigger woman in all of the situations. I will also continue to love that little boy as if he were my own even though he is not my child and I will continue to be a good role model and show him how to respect people and himself - cause he won't get that from her! Julie4796, thank you so much for your rude, narrow-minded reply, but be better prepared next time. Thanks.

 

[smh33]

usmcfamily,
Gosh I know this is a late reply, but I just decided to come back and check this place again recently. I admit I did not read the entire threa, but felt no need as the conflict is age old & feel I got the jist from 1st page.

I understand the validity of your reply in part...given your other posts and the logical thinking disposition (usmc) you must be surrounded by..excuse me, live by...surprized!

When you refer to the cs payments late by days...I get that law laid down a payment date, given...but in real life, the family together...who doesn't have to juggle bill payment by thier paydates. I may owe on the 15th but if I get paid the 1st and 16th ???? I should starve the 1st to 16th just so not one day late? Everyone juggles.

I am NCP, alone yet I pay for a 2 bedroom home...not 1...a 2nd room only used 6nghts a month by child but costs me an extra $150-200.....but that is not considered providing, supporting my child? Single I could use public transport...as a parent I pay for a car, insurance so to enable visits with my child...though my child only rides in the car 2 weekends a month I pay for car for 4weeks,4wkends a month....but that is not considered providing for my child? Never mind that if I had no transport, the CP would have to provide all. I provide for visitation, pay cs...yet the CP gets the full child tax deduct every year. I pay taxes on cs but the cp pays no taxes on cs received......and still no credit for providing and apparently no allowance to be 1 or 2 days late paying cs? Does that really make sense, not to mention that while law is so concerned about the financial provisions of children in split homes...children in two parent homes not thier concern, children in 2 parent poverty homes not thier concern,etc,etc....

Where else in life do expenses not have to be proven in order to get financial coverage? Children do not cost one set amount per month and if all cs is spent only for child why is it such a big deal to require some financial proof? Hell to file our taxes we have to have receipts...the gov. dispenses public aid...not in cash but in ways that the funds can only be used for certain things. You can't buy beer,cigs with food stamps...why? Because gov. says if we give you money we have a say so in how spent....but it should be different for the public? I think if I earn the money, give the money,pay taxes on the money then I am entitled to know where the money goes, to be sure IT IS being used for my child...because the gov. sure doesn't follow up and ensure all cs is used for the child. All gov. concern for the child disappears as soon as the account says paid.
Not saying you have to agree but asking you to consider another perspective in all fairness...

 

[usmcfamily]

You mistook my post -- my point was that the poster was objecting to the CP asking for the money a day early but had not problem with the NCP (the poster's SO) paying the support a day or two late on occassion -- I was simply attempting to point out that if there is going to be a "give or take" on the date of payment it was only fair if it went BOTH ways and not just one......
Actually I am the CP of my child -- technically by the letter of the order the support for her is due on the 1st of each month....she will be 7 this summer and I can't think of a single month that it has been paid before the 7th and it is usually later around the 15-25 and I have never had an issue with it as long as the NCP pays it during the month it is due.......

 

[Lil Miss Smarty Panties]

I just had a funny thought while reading smh33's latest reply. Wouldn't it be great if they cut c/s checks they way they do food stamps and in big red letters it would say on the check: This check can not be used to purchase alcohol, drugs, tobacco products, your current boyfriends car payment nor rims for his car, tattoo's, piercings, any form of body modification, $200 hoochie mama leopard skin high heeled boots, strip clubs, taverns, gambling etc.

I know, I have too much time on my hands.

 

[karma1]

lmao....

LMSP--"hoochie mamma"---good one!

 

[Boxcarbill]

usmcfamily,
Gosh I know this is a late reply, but I just decided to come back and check this place again recently. I admit I did not read the entire threa, but felt no need as the conflict is age old & feel I got the jist from 1st page.

I understand the validity of your reply in part...given your other posts and the logical thinking disposition (usmc) you must be surrounded by..excuse me, live by...surprized!

When you refer to the cs payments late by days...I get that law laid down a payment date, given...but in real life, the family together...who doesn't have to juggle bill payment by thier paydates. I may owe on the 15th but if I get paid the 1st and 16th ???? I should starve the 1st to 16th just so not one day late? Everyone juggles.

I am NCP, alone yet I pay for a 2 bedroom home...not 1...a 2nd room only used 6nghts a month by child but costs me an extra $150-200.....but that is not considered providing, supporting my child? Single I could use public transport...as a parent I pay for a car, insurance so to enable visits with my child...though my child only rides in the car 2 weekends a month I pay for car for 4weeks,4wkends a month....but that is not considered providing for my child? Never mind that if I had no transport, the CP would have to provide all. I provide for visitation, pay cs...yet the CP gets the full child tax deduct every year. I pay taxes on cs but the cp pays no taxes on cs received......and still no credit for providing and apparently no allowance to be 1 or 2 days late paying cs? Does that really make sense, not to mention that while law is so concerned about the financial provisions of children in split homes...children in two parent homes not thier concern, children in 2 parent poverty homes not thier concern,etc,etc....

Where else in life do expenses not have to be proven in order to get financial coverage? Children do not cost one set amount per month and if all cs is spent only for child why is it such a big deal to require some financial proof? Hell to file our taxes we have to have receipts...the gov. dispenses public aid...not in cash but in ways that the funds can only be used for certain things. You can't buy beer,cigs with food stamps...why? Because gov. says if we give you money we have a say so in how spent....but it should be different for the public? I think if I earn the money, give the money,pay taxes on the money then I am entitled to know where the money goes, to be sure IT IS being used for my child...because the gov. sure doesn't follow up and ensure all cs is used for the child. All gov. concern for the child disappears as soon as the account says paid.
Not saying you have to agree but asking you to consider another perspective in all fairness...

It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever if the only reason that you have a car is to pick and deliver your children two weekends a month. Use public transportation, as you stated, and rent a limo (instead of using a taxi) to pick up and deliver the children, you will still save money.

As to govermental aid being accounted for when it is distributed to families, let me point out that the governmental aid is an entitlement program-- not a right. Child support is a right which exists for the child from both parents regardless of whether the parents are married to each other, never been married to each other or divorced from one another.

 

[Wiggy Ex]

child support and where it goes

I agree with smh33 about the child support -- when the mother called wanting her CS early so that she could go shopping (to get a tatoo), if my fiance would have given it to her, all of that money would have gotton spent in the tatoo parlor -- now that has nothing to with caring for the child. And smh33, you're so right about you getting taxed but the cp gets to claim the child and doesn't have to claim cs received. The mother of my fiances child is a waitress, now when they were together, she was bringing home at least $275 per week, tax free money that she doesn't even have to claim, plus the wage (however small) that you get as a waitress. and all she has to claim is that she makes minimum wage for taxes and she gets to claim the child as her dependent when she hardly ever sees him, when he's sick - she ships him off to us or her mother cause she doesn't know what to do with him. She hardly ever sees him anymore now that he is in pre k. When he's not with us, hes at her Mama's house or with his sister, and I know he gets more sit down dinners with us because she is already at work when it is time to eat -- I just think that it is rediculus that the law is always on her side, just because she gave birth to the child - she doesn't take care of him - and I know not ever woman is like this - like I said, I was raised by my Mama and she did a good job -- she never used me against my Daddy, she never dropped me off with somebody else every day, she never lost her cool in front of me, she was great - I just feel bad that this child has to grow up with a mother like the one I'm speaking of. It's a tragedy.

 

[texasmom64]

I've always wondered if more NCPs would be willing to pay CS if it was tax deductible in some way. Would it make for a bookkeeping nightmare for the states to report it to IRS? I receive my CS through the Tarrant County court system. But I understand that many people just give the CP a check. How would that get tracked?
Sorry, completely off topic.

 

[Wiggy Ex]

child support taxed?

I really don't know, but I would think you just have to show the cancelled checks or something like that. If you ask me, the CP should have to show it as other income or something, so they would get taxed as well as the NCP.

 

[ChevyGirl]

We don't send any of the clothes that we buy for my fiance's baby to bio-mom's house. But we pay her child support. Also, I wonder if people didn't have kids if they would live on the street, without a car, without electricity, without food, etc. mmm, ?????

 

[issaka]

When I had my daughter I was in a small 1 bedroom. Crib wouldnt fit in my room, so guess what, had to get a bigger 1 bedroom. Then oh my god, she started to grow. Who would have thought. Had to get a two bedroom. Had a car, that was small, nothing to nice but I liked it. With a child, I needed something bigger and more reliable. I'm not even going to mention how electric, and water increased after I had her.

If I didnt have her, would I still have a car, home, electric, water, gas, trash, etc. Yes I would. Would it cost me the same amount. NO

 

[ChevyGirl]

OH, I know that, and I wasn't trying to argue, it is just that it seems that parents fight and fight about money on this and that, but they chose to have a child and with or without help, they are going to have to spend this money to raise these children, that was a decision that they made to have babies. Anyway, I do understand both sides of the fence and like I said, wasn't trying to argue

 

[Wiggy Ex]

I agree with both sides too, but when you only have the child in your posession maybe 3 waking hrs during the week (I am talking about mon - fri) and 12 waking hours on the weekends and all the other times the child is with someone else at someone elses house using someone elses electricity and eating someone elses food, and you're not paying the other people to provide for the child -- I mean really, that is not a big difference in your everyday expenses.

I think that if one of the bio parents has more time to spend with the child and wants to take care of the child -- then that parent should have the CP title, not the one that never sees the child. I do believe that is a valid statement.

My fiance's work schedule would allow him to see the child this many hours a week:

Monday - Friday 6 hrs before bedtime
Sat - Sun All waking hours 13hrs a day
Total per week: 56 hours


The bio mom on the other hand:
Mon & Tues 1hr before she goes to work
Wednesday 6hrs before bedtime
Thursday & Fri 1 hr before work
Sat 8 hrs before she goes to work
Sun 8 hrs before she goes to work
Total hours a week: 26

That is 30 hour difference -- so why shouldn't the child be with at least one of his parents most of the time instead of being dropped off with whoever?

 

[ChevyGirl]

When I had my daughter I was in a small 1 bedroom. Crib wouldnt fit in my room, so guess what, had to get a bigger 1 bedroom. Then oh my god, she started to grow. Who would have thought. Had to get a two bedroom. Had a car, that was small, nothing to nice but I liked it. With a child, I needed something bigger and more reliable. I'm not even going to mention how electric, and water increased after I had her.

If I didnt have her, would I still have a car, home, electric, water, gas, trash, etc. Yes I would. Would it cost me the same amount. NO

It wasn't necessary, it was just more convinient for you. Like you could have put the crib in the living room, or the car that was too small, oh well, something that you would just have to deal with. Children are small. I can't imagine how a child could increase water and electric bill so much. Do you let them run around in the yard with the water hose on all day??? Do they take 15 baths a day? Do you keep a light on in their bedroom on 24/7??????? Little confused here. And I am sure that you will enlighten me.

 

[Wiggy Ex]

I agree with ChevyGirl!