CP in contempt...

[GriefinGeorgia]

What is the name of your state? Georgia

My husband has been divorced from his ex-wife since 1991. Since then she has remarried at least twice and has lived in 6 states (maybe more) and had at least 12 different addresses. He has not seen his son since 1996 for that very reason. It has not been from lack of trying, she simply will not provide a current address and phone number for him in compliance with the custody and visitation court order. He has child support taken out of his checks thru CSE and even that has been a constant issue. They were divorced here in Georgia and she is receiving support thru Oklahoma CSE. Georgia says that he shows no arrearage but Oklahoma says he owes over $1000. The two states are always in disagreement and the amounts owed are constantly changing. We cannot afford to seek legal help so our options are limited. She is clearly in contempt of court so what can be done in order for him to see or talk to his son if can't find him?

Please help!

 

[Zephyr]

well the visitation and support are two seperate issues, what does his court order state in regards to visitation and where is that order from? why has he waited 10 years to enforce visitaion? when was the last time he actually talked to his child on the phone?

 

[GriefinGeorgia]

I realize that they are 2 separate issues but I had hoped that by posting on this board I might get some advice on how to approach each.
The divorce was here in GA as was the custody hearing as they were both lived here thoughout the marriage. It wasn't until he sought a modification that she decided to make her whereabouts unknown to him. His visitation are 1 week per month, holidays on even-numbered years and 2 weeks in the summer. She had even been living in GA a few years ago without contacting him so that he could see him. When we tracked her down 10 years ago in Oklahoma, we drove out there only to spend less than 30 supervised minutes with him. Then she moved to Florida, GA, LA and back to OK, where she has had 6 different addresses and no phone numbers. So he has not been able to stay in contact with his son ( phone or otherwise ) because she has not been able to stay in one place, let alone let my husband know his son's whereabouts.
Which is why we are seeking help to steer us in the right direction.

 

[stealth2]

Well, realistically speaking, he's not going to get one week a month of a teen in HS. I honestly don't know how far Dad's gonna get w/o a lawyer.

 

[ceara19]

Well, realistically speaking, he's not going to get one week a month of a teen in HS. I honestly don't know how far Dad's gonna get w/o a lawyer.

Even with an attorney, it will probably be an uphill battle. Even though mom was moving around all the time and not telling dad where they were, the fact that he waited for 10 YEARS to take court action is going to make it seem like he didn't have a problem with the moving around and the lack of contact.

If they were divorced in 1991, the child has to be getting close to 18 by now. Once he's an adult, mom has no control over who the child is around.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Well, realistically speaking, he's not going to get one week a month of a teen in HS. I honestly don't know how far Dad's gonna get w/o a lawyer.

He was already court ordered these visits. The mother is clearly in contempt of the original order.

 

[ceara19]

He was already court ordered these visits. The mother is clearly in contempt of the original order.

She is only in contempt if dad can PROVE she actively tried to keep him away. From this point forward, dad needs to show up at mom's house at the court ordered time. If mom doesn't let him take the child, he could bring her back to court.

As far as the last 10 years, he's going to have a hard time proving that he went to mom's to pick the child up for his visitation only to be denied or to find an empty house all these years. He is not obligated to see the child. The fact that he has not taken court action until now, isn't going to help him prove that mom was concealing the child and that he was actively trying to exercise visitation.

If it were your kids, would you wait 10 YEARS before taking legal action? The way many people would see it is that dad didn't really want to see the kid all those years and CHOSE not to exercise his visitation rights. Otherwise, if it were that important to him, he would have gone to court after mom moved the FIRST time.

 

[GrowUp!]

I realize that they are 2 separate issues but I had hoped that by posting on this board I might get some advice on how to approach each.
The divorce was here in GA as was the custody hearing as they were both lived here thoughout the marriage. It wasn't until he sought a modification that she decided to make her whereabouts unknown to him. His visitation are 1 week per month, holidays on even-numbered years and 2 weeks in the summer. She had even been living in GA a few years ago without contacting him so that he could see him. When we tracked her down 10 years ago in Oklahoma, we drove out there only to spend less than 30 supervised minutes with him. Then she moved to Florida, GA, LA and back to OK, where she has had 6 different addresses and no phone numbers. So he has not been able to stay in contact with his son ( phone or otherwise ) because she has not been able to stay in one place, let alone let my husband know his son's whereabouts.
Which is why we are seeking help to steer us in the right direction.

In addition to the other responses you've received regarding the 10 year issue...How vigilant were you in trying to find her to see your children? Have you ever taken any legal action before to try to locate her/contempt action? I realize that if you couldn't locate her, that serving her any notice would be difficult, but even then there are legal steps you must take w/that -- although those do take time and can be frustrating.

Perhaps what you should do at this point is talking to a few attorneys about STOPPING child support since you can not locate your ex. Usually that brings the CP out of hiding when the support stops (well, you'd be putting that money into an account). This MIGHT be an option, but as others stated, the 10 year thing is an issue and another factor could be, as I asked, how vigilant you were to find her to see your kid.

 

[GriefinGeorgia]

CP in contempt

I apologize for wasting everyones time with my post. It's obvious to me that a custodial parent in interstate cases calls all the shots and the non-custodial parent ( usually the father ) is looked down upon because he/she isn't able to shell out thousands of dollars in order to be in their child's life. By thousands of dollars, I am referring to attorney fees, travel cost, investigating fees ( when the CP is on the run ), not to mention the cost of a child not having both parents in his/her life. I just think it's a disgrace when a parent does what there supposed to do by their child but isn't allowed to be in their life!
Thank you for your time.
Bottom line is....unless you end a marriage on good terms, the NCP is looked upon as deadbeat because they can't afford to get a lawyer everytime the CP moves, in order to find the child and spend precious time with them. I believe that if the NCP pays child support, they should have the right to see that child, talk to that child and be able to write a letter without having a return to sender, address unknown stamp across the top.
I really should have known that this too was a waste of time. I want to clarify something, my husband has not waited 10 years to seek visitation rights, we simply cannot get any help in locating the mother!

 

[LdiJ]

Even with an attorney, it will probably be an uphill battle. Even though mom was moving around all the time and not telling dad where they were, the fact that he waited for 10 YEARS to take court action is going to make it seem like he didn't have a problem with the moving around and the lack of contact.

If they were divorced in 1991, the child has to be getting close to 18 by now. Once he's an adult, mom has no control over who the child is around.

I would guess that the child has to be at least 16. Which is definitely going to be a complication. It might actually be wiser to wait until the child is a legal adult at this point. A court battle could last long enough to almost make it a wasted effort.

 

[stealth2]

I want to clarify something, my husband has not waited 10 years to seek visitation rights, we simply cannot get any help in locating the mother!

I simply have to ask - how much of it has been HIM doing the work, and how much of it has he left to you?

 

[GriefinGeorgia]

CP in contempt

I simply have to ask - how much of it has been HIM doing the work, and how much of it has he left to you?

First of all, I take pride in wanting to be a part of this childs life. There are many step-parents who want nothing to do with their spouses children from a previous marriage, especially when they have children of their own or with their spouse. Our son wants to know his half-brother and be a part of his life also.
To answer your question, I would have to say that he has taken full initiative in this matter...I just happened upon this site and thought I would at least try and get some HELPFUL advice , instead I get condescending comments like this one.

 

[stealth2]

instead I get condescending comments like this one.

I was asking for a reason. But you can go ahead and get your answers from someone else. Good luck.

 

[fairisfair]

First of all, I take pride in wanting to be a part of this childs life. There are many step-parents who want nothing to do with their spouses children from a previous marriage, especially when they have children of their own or with their spouse. Our son wants to know his half-brother and be a part of his life also.
To answer your question, I would have to say that he has taken full initiative in this matter...I just happened upon this site and thought I would at least try and get some HELPFUL advice , instead I get condescending comments like this one.

with your pissy attitude, I am surprised you haven't gotten more than "condescending comments". Just because you don't like the answers, doesn't make them incorrect, or condescending. By the way, when you ask someone for help, it is considered to be good manners to be gracious when you receive it, whether or not you approve of the manner in which it is delivered.

 

[weenor]

I apologize for wasting everyones time with my post. It's obvious to me that a custodial parent in interstate cases calls all the shots and the non-custodial parent ( usually the father ) is looked down upon because he/she isn't able to shell out thousands of dollars in order to be in their child's life. By thousands of dollars, I am referring to attorney fees, travel cost, investigating fees ( when the CP is on the run ), not to mention the cost of a child not having both parents in his/her life.

Bull, he didn't even try that's why he will be looked down upon. The money shouldn't matter. None of us have it, so you beg and borrow and do what you have to do. He had ten (10) years. He should have started all of this the first time she move out of the state. Had he bothered to have saved or borrowed the money for an attorney he would have realized that he did not have to locate the ex first.


I just think it's a disgrace when a parent does what there supposed to do by their child but isn't allowed to be in their life!
Thank you for your time.
Bottom line is....unless you end a marriage on good terms, the NCP is looked upon as deadbeat because they can't afford to get a lawyer everytime the CP moves, in order to find the child and spend precious time with them. I believe that if the NCP pays child support, they should have the right to see that child, talk to that child and be able to write a letter without having a return to sender, address unknown stamp across the top.
I really should have known that this too was a waste of time. I want to clarify something, my husband has not waited 10 years to seek visitation rights, we simply cannot get any help in locating the mother!

You pity party is unpersuasive and your excuses are just THAT EXCUSES.