Early pickup

[Maried]

Yeah...Just don't do it on Mom's time.

No i don’t i respect their time. I just do it around his time, and only when asked because he works late. Thank you for your time and we got it all figured out

 

[not2cleverRed]

Well I am authorized to make appointments as long as my husband adds me to any and all paperwork, so thank you for you opinion but obviously it doesn’t matter on the part of my making appointments on my husbands behalf!

Again, you have made scheduled appointments FOR THE CHILD that occur during the Mother's time. This has nothing to do with permission or authorization through Dad. This has to do with the child, and whose parenting time it is.

But hey, continue disrespecting Mom's parenting time, and Mom may get fed up and go to court and complain about it. Sure, make your hubby look bad to a judge. Because guess what: when the judge agrees with Mom that you're overstepping, it's Dad that will bear the consequences... You honestly could COST Dad some of his parenting time if you don't start acting more respectful of Mom.

 

[Maried]

Again, you have made scheduled appointments FOR THE CHILD that occur during the Mother's time. This has nothing to do with permission or authorization through Dad. This has to do with the child, and whose parenting time it is.

But hey, continue disrespecting Mom's parenting time, and Mom may get fed up and go to court and complain about it. Sure, make your hubby look bad to a judge. Because guess what: when the judge agrees with Mom that you're overstepping, it's Dad that will bear the consequences... You honestly could COST Dad some of his parenting time if you don't start acting more respectful of Mom.

You clearly are not understanding are you. Her time with THEIR CHILDREN IS HER TIME, I never overstep her time with them, I make any and all appointments when THEIR KIDS are with us. We arrange everything during the time that my husband has THEIR CHILDREN.
It’s beyond this and it always has been, ever since their separation my husband has had to pay thousands in lawyer fees to fight to see his CHILDREN. They are loved in both homes and they deserve to be regardless of who does for them. No ones taking her place or trying to but as long as I’m married to my husband and THEIR CHILDREN love me as I love them I’m going to help him in RAISING THEM WHEN THEY ARE IN OUR HOME!!

All this negativity from a mere question of ( IS MY HUSBAND ALLOWED TO PICK THEM UP EARLY ON HIS DAY FOR A DR APPOINTMENT) in which it did get answered and they are both allowed to make appointments on “THEIR OWN DAYS” regardless if it’s early as long as HE GIVES HER ADVANCED NOTICE!!

 

[Zigner]

All this negativity from a mere question of ( IS MY HUSBAND ALLOWED TO PICK THEM UP EARLY ON HIS DAY FOR A DR APPOINTMENT)

Wow, you're a peach.

So, why was the appointment scheduled for that day on her time?

 

[t74]

Has it occurred to anyone that mom might appreciate someone being available to take the child to an appointment due to her schedule and work limitations even if it during her parenting time?

 

[not2cleverRed]

Has it occurred to anyone that mom might appreciate someone being available to take the child to an appointment due to her schedule and work limitations even if it during her parenting time?

Consider that OP is here because Mom said, "No, Dad's parenting time starts at 6 PM, not 1", I would hazard a guess that Mom is not overwhelmingly grateful to the new wife.

Whether or not this is good co-parenting is not for us to evaluate.

OP is here because she is convinced that Mom should allow them to get an earlier start on Christmas break than the parenting plan allows for.

OP is not getting that if it says pick up is at 6 PM, then 1 PM - 6 PM on the same day is not Dad's parenting time, even though he has parenting time on that day.

Mom may have plans too - it is possible that, looking at the court orders, she wanted to do something during her parenting time - a little early Christmas, or at least a good bye before the kids go off for Christmas.

 

[Zigner]

Has it occurred to anyone that mom might appreciate someone being available to take the child to an appointment due to her schedule and work limitations even if it during her parenting time?

She might, but mom ain't here, nor is dad.

 

[t74]

She might, but mom ain't here, nor is dad.

Both may agree. For example, a monthly ortho appointment does not need a discussion with the dentist. Also with the electronic medical records, many of the things a parent would do checking a child in are done in advance.

 

[t74]

This is not a hill to die on. Pick up kids on a sugar high from a holiday party, feed them lunch ($$$ out of wallet), find some way to amuse them on a likely cold , dreary December day until appointment/ exchange time. This could be a leisurely kid free lunch either alone or with a friend, last minute shopping, a relaxing cup of coffee for the last time until the kids return to mom, and then pick up tired kids for a quick dinner, reading and bed. Why is anyone worrying about the time from 1 to 6?

This really is something the parents should be able to work out without having to go back to court.

 

[not2cleverRed]

This is not a hill to die on. Pick up kids on a sugar high from a holiday party, feed them lunch ($$$ out of wallet), find some way to amuse them on a likely cold , dreary December day until appointment/ exchange time. This could be a leisurely kid free lunch either alone or with a friend, last minute shopping, a relaxing cup of coffee for the last time until the kids return to mom, and then pick up tired kids for a quick dinner, reading and bed. Why is anyone worrying about the time from 1 to 6?

This really is something the parents should be able to work out without having to go back to court.

Because you're not getting it. Dad's time is starting at 6 PM.

Stepmom is the one insisting on the time from 1 to 6, even though it's Mom's parenting time. Hence the thread title "Early Pickup".

I would think the sensible thing would be to go by the court ordered parenting plan. Let Mom get to say "hi" to the kids after school, make sure they're packed to go, wish them a fun holiday and wave goodbye ay 6 PM.

Stepmom wants to pick up the kids directly from school at 1 PM and return them at 6 PM Dec 28th.

Maybe stepmom should try encourage harmony rather than throwing gasoline on things.

 

[t74]

In a child's life, 5 hours on one day is minor compared to the grief this seems to be causing. The adults need to put the kids first and stop fighting no matter whose "time" it is. These kids are going to have lifelong problems if controversies such as this become the norm. One day the parent whose time it is is really going to need the other parent (or step-parent) to step in to help. When the kids grow up, they are not going to want to spend time with either parent.

My solution is for all parents, steps, BF, ... get together, paste on happy faces, and take the kids to lunch/dinner and for a huge shared sundae with lots of sprinkles. of course. Maybe next year the parents can exchange small gifts or the children can give the parents gifts made while at the other parent's house.

 

[Just Blue]

In a child's life, 5 hours on one day is minor compared to the grief this seems to be causing. The adults need to put the kids first and stop fighting no matter whose "time" it is. These kids are going to have lifelong problems if controversies such as this become the norm. One day the parent whose time it is is really going to need the other parent (or step-parent) to step in to help. When the kids grow up, they are not going to want to spend time with either parent.

My solution is for all parents, steps, BF, ... get together, paste on happy faces, and take the kids to lunch/dinner and for a huge shared sundae with lots of sprinkles. of course. Maybe next year the parents can exchange small gifts or the children can give the parents gifts made while at the other parent's house.

The appointment was made for a time that it interferes with Mom's parenting time. The answers given were legally correct. IF an actual parent were posting we may have also gifted that parent with a bit of co-parenting advice as well. But they didn't post so we didn't advise.

 

[LdiJ]

You clearly are not understanding are you. Her time with THEIR CHILDREN IS HER TIME, I never overstep her time with them, I make any and all appointments when THEIR KIDS are with us. We arrange everything during the time that my husband has THEIR CHILDREN.
It’s beyond this and it always has been, ever since their separation my husband has had to pay thousands in lawyer fees to fight to see his CHILDREN. They are loved in both homes and they deserve to be regardless of who does for them. No ones taking her place or trying to but as long as I’m married to my husband and THEIR CHILDREN love me as I love them I’m going to help him in RAISING THEM WHEN THEY ARE IN OUR HOME!!

All this negativity from a mere question of ( IS MY HUSBAND ALLOWED TO PICK THEM UP EARLY ON HIS DAY FOR A DR APPOINTMENT) in which it did get answered and they are both allowed to make appointments on “THEIR OWN DAYS” regardless if it’s early as long as HE GIVES HER ADVANCED NOTICE!!

Except that its not dad's day until 6PM. Its mom's day until 6PM. So, you made an appointment on mom's day. That is the point that we are trying to get across to you. Pickup time actually matters.

Perhaps mom is the kind of person who would not get upset about you usurping part of her time. Or, perhaps mom is just such a nice person that she would let dad get away with it even if it did upset her. However, I guarantee you that if mom said no, the children would not be keeping the appointment and that there is nothing that your husband could do about it. Mom could have easily had plans with the children from 1pm to 6pm that you are spoiling by making that appointment.

 

[Ohiogal]

1. Christmas Holidays in Even-Numbered Years - In even-numbered years, (HE) shall have the right to possession of the child beginning at 6:00 p.m. on the day the child is dismissed from school for the Christmas school vacation and ending at noon on December 28, and (SHE) shall have the right to possession of the child beginning at noon on December 28 and ending at 6:00 p.m. on the day before school resumes after that Christmas school vacation.

We are simply asking because he picks up his kids tomorrow to start Christmas break, and I SET UP ALL DR APPOINTMENTS for my husbands kiddos. And he has one tomorrow

You are overstepping by setting up doctor appointments for children that are NOT yours. Your husband should step up and do that.

 

[stealth2]

Generally speaking, I wouldn't have a problem with SM calling for an appointment - on Dad's time. I *would* have an issue with SM making an appointment - on what is my time - and then wanting to pick the kids up early. I'd prefer Dad to call or email and discuss it with me first. 'Cause I likely would have planned a late lunch with the kids between school and p/u at 6. And yeah - I'd expect it to happen earlier than the day before.