Exwife refuses to give back name

[Ohiogal]

Who is trying to control here? It was my name and it belongs to my WIFE not some woman who "hangs out with me" for 7 years. I think marriage in the USA must be like clothes. You where them for a little while when its in fashion, it gets worn or you get bored of it or it goes out of fashion, then you just throw it away and get something new. Well, fine, my exwife can hope for something new but in the meantime, I think my current wife should be the only one to share my name.

Probably a lot of peeps who are replying to this post are ones who can't stay married or marry a person when its good but as soon as it is not good, they're gone and they try to get as much out of that ex as they can. Including the name. I don't get it but seems the American way now.

Please leave my state. It is MY state and not a state for some backwoods controlling SOB. Okay? Oh yeah, it seems the American way that you want to get as much as you can such as residence in Ohio. Dangit.

Same principle as your "name" thing.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

OG - I think he did leave. In an earlier thread, the OP was in Hungary with his new wife. He was trying to figure out how to have the children admire all the castles. Think he is living in a fairy one.

 

[Ohiogal]

OG - I think he did leave. In an earlier thread, the OP was in Hungary with his new wife. He was trying to figure out how to have the children admire all the castles. Think he is living in a fairy one.

Cinderella's castle? Aurora's castle? Hmmmm, Snow White's castle? Jeez... he said his state was Ohio. Glad he left though. This is MY STATE. And i didn't like him. Dangit.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Must be Cinderella cuz he's thinking of living happily ever after .... after the X no longer has HIS name ... when the children can spend half the year in Hungary while ignoring school requirements ...

 

[euliving]

Legal answer is no, you ex does not have to change her last name unless she wants to. Despite all the drama mentioned in your thread. Best that you view this from a "realistic" standpoint.

I like this answer the best. Its not what I wanted to hear but it was honest and without all of the immature JABS from the wanna-be lawyer guys. Thank you Penelope!

I am going to ask my attorney about it regardless but I think he gives me the same answer. ;-)

 

[mlane58]

I like this answer the best. Its not what I wanted to hear but it was honest and without all of the immature JABS from the wanna-be lawyer guys. Thank you Penelope!

I am going to ask my attorney about it regardless but I think he gives me the same answer. ;-)

You go right ahead and be ready for the JABS he will give you for being an idiot.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

I'm still trying to figure out why it is so important for the mother of the children to change her name. Just asking for your rationale.

 

[euliving]

I can't help it.

The only thing(s) I can imagine that would cause such blindness to the situation you are in and to the most ridiculous path you are trying to take is either (or all):

It is very simple. First, exwife left me without good cause. I learned about some very interesting research that seemed to point to my exwife not being able to stay married. Looking at all of the evidence, I am sure she has this problem and I DO feel sorry for her. At the same time, I can't be the victim of this anymore. We get along very well but I want the most for my current wife. She deserves it. She is a good woman. No, there is no divorce on the horizon. We are able to tough out the worst....believe me. I am sure some of you hope for the worst so it would make you feel better, judging from most of these replies.

My name is not special although I am the only one in the region with this name. I think state wide, maybe there are 50 of us. Hmm. If that. But still, I just don't think exwife deserves it. Just an opinion. If you destroy a family, what gives you the right to keep something that is not yours which DOESN'T affect the children? I don't get it. Just my personal angle.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

The thing is, is that when she married, it became hers. It really is easier to have the same name as your children.

What is sounds like is that you haven't let go of some of the issues of your marriage and divorce. Not legal answer - practical answer. You may want to consider seeing/talking to a therapist to help you get past the divorce.

 

[milspecgirl]

when she married you, that name became hers legally. It is not your name anymore- it is also her name. just like your children were given your name.
IT is easier when dealing with children to have the same last name and if you have used it for a long time, it is more of a problem to change it personally and professionally.

If you truely feel that your new wife does not feel that she is #1 just because of a name, then your marriage has major problems. She needs to take the belief that" his mom is mrs.x, his sister in law is mrs. x, i am mrs. x and the mother of his children is ms. x"

I have a very distinct name- there is only my family in this region with that name, but I do know that there are other people with my EXACT same name out there- first and last. That doesn't make them me or let them take my place in my relationships just cause we share a name

 

[mistoffolees]

It is very simple. First, exwife left me without good cause. I learned about some very interesting research that seemed to point to my exwife not being able to stay married. Looking at all of the evidence, I am sure she has this problem and I DO feel sorry for her. At the same time, I can't be the victim of this anymore. We get along very well but I want the most for my current wife. She deserves it. She is a good woman. No, there is no divorce on the horizon. We are able to tough out the worst....believe me. I am sure some of you hope for the worst so it would make you feel better, judging from most of these replies.

My name is not special although I am the only one in the region with this name. I think state wide, maybe there are 50 of us. Hmm. If that. But still, I just don't think exwife deserves it. Just an opinion. If you destroy a family, what gives you the right to keep something that is not yours which DOESN'T affect the children? I don't get it. Just my personal angle.

It's really rather sad that even after people have explained it you to ad nauseum, you still don't get it.

Hint: The name IS hers and it DOES affect the children.

Grow up.

 

[swrdmbo]

I am going to have to remember that...the "monogamy gene".

You know..you can't have it both ways...either it is NOT HER FAULT because she lacks the monogamy gene....or she is the shameless tramp that has "destroyed " your family.

You seem to bounce back and forth between the two as it suits you.

I will say that if you truly do " get along fine" with your ex it must be because she has no idea how two faced you are, judging by all these things you are posting behind her back.

I mention this because my advice to you ( you already have the legal) is to get some counseling for this anger you still feel toward your ex. If you talk about her like this on a public forum I am pretty sure you badmouth her in front of your children.

This is very detrimental to them. Please seek help, for their sake. The bonus is it may actually help yiu as well. Good luck,

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

On the positive note, it appears that he is in Hungary at the moment, and the children are in Ohio, so he doesn't have much access to deride the children's mother to them.

I truly believe that children should know their parents. But in your case sir, you appear to be blessing your children by your absence.

 

[tuffbrk]

On the positive note, it appears that he is in Hungary at the moment, and the children are in Ohio, so he doesn't have much access to deride the children's mother to them.

I truly believe that children should know their parents. But in your case sir, you appear to be blessing your children by your absence.

It certainly is a blessing. Clearly the best interests of the children are far less important to him than pacifying #2 Wife. Considering his comments here, he is really nothing more than another woman's sloppy, bitter leftovers. I'd guess it's going to take some money to pacify perfect #2 Wife..who apparently is not an intelligent woman.

As for #1 Wife - she must smirk every morning putting on her lipstick.

 

[AHA]

It was my name and it belongs to my WIFE not some woman who "hangs out with me" for 7 years. I think my current wife should be the only one to share my name.

You legally married your ex just like you did your current mail order bride, so by your reasoning the current one is just "hanging out with you" too, only the ex did it first.
Nice view on marriage .
I would say that staying married to someone for 7 years is a long time in today's society, so you claiming that those years meant nothing as a legal marriage, is pretty weak. You are just pi$$ed that you got dumped, and now you want revenge by having married someone else. That's mature .
What happens when/if current wife leaves you, are you going to force her to change her name back too or is she just going to be sent back home?
How about you stop letting your wives take your name when you marry, that way you can keep it contained.