First Time Mom: Custody & Visitation Threats! Please Help!

[Silverplum]

So even if I file a police report for his threats, can he still say I fabricated to keep him away from his daughter?

I fear this man & what he may possibly do which is why I even am allowing him around my daughter!

You need proof, not just your say-so.

Frankly, you sound so hysterical that I am not taking you very seriously. You sound like you'd say and do whatever came to mind to keep that child to yourself.

 

[Ohiogal]

Another question, you guys!
If and when paternity is established, will the judge only order visitation schedule on the father's "off" days from work? Does the father have the right to let other people watch our child?

Do you only get your child on your "off" days from work?

 

[Silverplum]

Do you only get your child on your "off" days from work?

*bangs the LIKE button repeatedly*

Five bucks says Mom doesn't work, therefore is "able" to care for the child entirely on her own. (Except for health insurance and money for rent/food/transport/clothing/etc.)

 

[Proserpina]

You know when you get that spidey-sense where you know something's not quite legit but you can't place your finger on it?

Yeah. This thread. I'm sorry folks, but for some reason my red flag is waving loud and proud.

 

[Silverplum]

You know when you get that spidey-sense where you know something's not quite legit but you can't place your finger on it?

Yeah. This thread. I'm sorry folks, but for some reason my red flag is waving loud and proud.

That does it. I'm going to begin lobbying for the REPEATED LIKE Button!

 

[Eekamouse]

*bangs the LIKE button repeatedly*

Five bucks says Mom doesn't work, therefore is "able" to care for the child entirely on her own. (Except for health insurance and money for rent/food/transport/clothing/etc.)

Right. She is not supporting her child, her family and possibly the government is supporting her child. OP needs to step back and look at things a little more rationally. What is SHE doing to support her child herself?

 

[CJane]

Right. She is not supporting her child, her family and possibly the government is supporting her child. OP needs to step back and look at things a little more rationally. What is SHE doing to support her child herself?

The child is TWO WEEKS OLD. MOST people wouldn't be working right this minute.SOME people have no choice - I was back at work for board meetings, baby in tow, when #3 was 3 days old. But c'mon. Whether or not she's working right now isn't really relevant.

 

[Proserpina]

Right. She is not supporting her child, her family and possibly the government is supporting her child. OP needs to step back and look at things a little more rationally. What is SHE doing to support her child herself?

She is supporting her child. Perhaps not with her own wages, but she is providing for that child.

 

[Zigner]

She is supporting her child. Perhaps not with her own wages, but she is providing for that child.

It may seem to be semantics, but some people believe there is a difference between one supporting & providing for a child and one who assures that their child is supported and provided for.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Louisiana

Hi! I am a first time mom to a beautiful little girl ( she is ONLY 2 weeks old) & the biological father ( who also was abusive & controlling) has not been emotionally or financially supportive during the pregnancy. I have received everything for her from my family members.
Me and the biological father live in different towns. I currently am living with my mom & he lives in what once was his mom's house, with his new girlfriend. Well, he spoke on visitation through texts ( having her sleepover a week, days, months)
Knowing she's still a newborn, I told him not yet. But he threatened me with court to have his visitation rights if I do not let him see her & also wants the child's last name in his name after paternity is taken since I ddnt add him to the birth certificate. Mind you, I do not have him on child support or ask for anything from him! The thing is, I WILL let him see her in my residence. I just do not want to allow her to go to a different town to stay with him until she's walking & aware of her surroundings. Also, I do not want my daughter's last name changed! However, I am new to this. I have never been witness to a situation like this nor am I knowing of the legal system.
Can the judge change my baby's last name without my permission and even if we are not married after paternity is proven?! Can he grant visitation while my child is still so young? What do I need to prove in court? Will the judge ask my choice to file for child support if visitation is ordered?

Also, in case of custody battle, what does the judge look for in a parent? I know I live with my mom but I absolutely love my daughter and me & my family have solely done everything for her! does he have a chance of taking her?! Please help! Advice please!

How should I handle this? I am worried.

At 2 weeks old my oldest was off visitaing her father for 2 days at a time. In another state. OMG!! She not only lived but she thrived! Life with an ex does NOT need to be a battle that causes children to be colateral damage.
I am sure there is horrific spelling in my post...but you get the point.

 

[Silverplum]

The OP was complaining, from the beginning, about how the (putative) father was not providing her or the child with support. I thought it was time to point out a likely scenario that deflated her self-important bubble a bit.

No need to give it any more weight than the rest of the posts.

 

[CJane]

It may seem to be semantics, but some people believe there is a difference between one supporting & providing for a child and one who assures that their child is supported and provided for.

And, let's face it. There is a LOT of bias against parents who don't just drop the baby directly into a daycare provider's hands, and get back to the jobsite.

OP? Just like you're being advised that it would be CRAZY for Dad to pay support without an order - it is JUST as crazy for you to allow visitation on Dad's terms without a court order.

 

[Zigner]

And, let's face it. There is a LOT of bias against parents who don't just drop the baby directly into a daycare provider's hands, and get back to the jobsite.

Is it your contention that it's society's job to pay for the children of others, regardless of their forethought or planning?

 

[Silverplum]

And, let's face it. There is a LOT of bias against parents who don't just drop the baby directly into a daycare provider's hands, and get back to the jobsite.

OP? Just like you're being advised that it would be CRAZY for Dad to pay support without an order - it is JUST as crazy for you to allow visitation on Dad's terms without a court order.

I don't have that particular bias.

Nor did anyone use the word "CRAZY," much less in CAPS.

 

[Just Blue]

And, let's face it. There is a LOT of bias against parents who don't just drop the baby directly into a daycare provider's hands, and get back to the jobsite.

OP? Just like you're being advised that it would be CRAZY for Dad to pay support without an order - it is JUST as crazy for you to allow visitation on Dad's terms without a court order.

What, IMHO, is "CRAZY", is to have a child with a person that you trust so little.