GAL Visit and a question

[stealth2]

Out of curiousity - where is the child he has custody of while he's out of town for weeks at a time?

 

[rmet4nzkx]

THank you for your largely incorrect input.

I took these thngs from your various posts. in some cases you have in answering provided some clarity such as he only pays child support for 1 of his children and not for the one you have together. It really leaves the GAL with lots of questions.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

You know Rmet, I know "Pagans" with a more Christ-like attitude than some of the "Christians" I meet. Quit spewing the venom when you type that word. One can tell by your tone that you're downing her because of her religious choice.

"You, being a Pagan, wanted the freedon to have boyfriends over and chose not to marry." Hate to tell you sweatpea, but Christians do it too.

"To be honest, he isn't contributing to the household because he has to support his other 2 children he has had in the past meaning that it you file for child support, you will get less and have to force him to pay and who will want a homeless Pagan with 1-3 kids to support." Who'd want a homeles "Christian" with 1-3 kids to support? And just because he has 2 prior children doesn't mean he isn't contributing to the household either. My husband has a court order for child support for 2 prior children as well but contributes to our household just fine.

Breathe in, breathe out, Rmet. And get a taste of religion.... lick a witch.

Hey, I used a capital "P" for Pagan

Religion and the behavors around the children were an issue and her posts are inconsistant.

This is not a stable relationship but that is where she has hung her hat, hard to hang it elsewhere after getting pregnant. This isn't a LTR it's a LDR twice removed.

 

[CJane]

Out of curiousity - where is the child he has custody of while he's out of town for weeks at a time?

It's one of those stupid stories we read on here all the time. He got custody of the boy when he was 9 months old (right after he found out the kid existed), and raised him until he was 9 years old. Then, mom reappeared and had established herself and really wanted to spend time with her son. So, after a graduated plan of getting to know each other, the boy went to live with mom in Colorado. BF doesn't pay child support out of an agreement with mom that she didn't pay the first 9 years and she isn't interested in him paying now, as she's financially secure enough not to warrant support.

It's working so far with no change in the court orders, and BF sees his child on summer vacation. It's worked out for two years, and the child is happy. It also coincided with BF's opportunity to join the narcotics task force, which obviously would require a schedule not conducive to being a single dad.

UPDATE: I spoke to my atty this evening and told her that BF isn't going to be here, and asked her what I should do. After talking to some other local attorneys who are way more familiar with this judge than she is, she's less concerned about everything. Apparently the stance he's been taking for the last year or so is that unless damage to the children can be PROVEN, he's not about to meddle in someone's personal life - especially if he thinks that either party is being petty.

She did recommend that I email the GAL prior to Saturday and explain the situation to her. The GAL is already aware that he's been out of town more than he's been here, so it's not like she's going to be shocked when I tell her he's still not here, and won't be in the near future.

If it really all boils down to whether or not my kids are cared for, happy and well adjusted, then nothing will change. If the judge is going to rule in favor of the ex because he's as rabidly against young non-christian single moms as Rmet is, then I was screwed before I ever walked into the courtroom anyway.

 

[CJane]

but that is where she has hung her hat, hard to hang it elsewhere after getting pregnant.

That's such a load of bullsh*t.

This isn't a LTR it's a LDR twice removed.

So, you're saying that one can't have an LTR that's also an LDR? Don't tell that to all the families that have service members deployed. Or the families with truckers for fathers. Or any other family that doesn't fit your ideal mold of the breadwinner coming home to the happy lil apron wearing wife.

 

[Rushia]

That's such a load of bullsh*t.



So, you're saying that one can't have an LTR that's also an LDR? Don't tell that to all the families that have service members deployed. Or the families with truckers for fathers. Or any other family that doesn't fit your ideal mold of the breadwinner coming home to the happy lil apron wearing wife.

Don't feel alone. DH goes to school in the day, works at night. We see each other on the weekends. We've been together for almost 3 years and married for almost 2.

 

[CJane]

Don't feel alone. DH goes to school in the day, works at night. We see each other on the weekends. We've been together for almost 3 years and married for almost 2.

Hey, I was married to trust fund boy for almost 10 years. I was a SAHM for 5, while he was 'self-employed' - which really just translated to he went fishing/kayaking/playing whenever he wanted to, and built lawn furniture when he was bored. He was home ALL THE TIME. And I was lonely as h*ll.

Then, I was single for a year and I learned that not only did I LIKE being alone, I love the relationship I developed with my kids once I was out from under TFB's thumb. I moved in with the BF knowing that he'd either be working nights a lot if he remained on the task force, or that he'd be out of town a lot if he didn't. I'm ok with either.

Except for the fact that I really really wish he was here to carry out the garbage tonight so I don't have to, I'm ok on my own, and so are my kids. The man is a bonus.

 

[weenor]

Hey, I was married to trust fund boy for almost 10 years. I was a SAHM for 5, while he was 'self-employed' - which really just translated to he went fishing/kayaking/playing whenever he wanted to, and built lawn furniture when he was bored. He was home ALL THE TIME. And I was lonely as h*ll.

Then, I was single for a year and I learned that not only did I LIKE being alone, I love the relationship I developed with my kids once I was out from under TFB's thumb. I moved in with the BF knowing that he'd either be working nights a lot if he remained on the task force, or that he'd be out of town a lot if he didn't. I'm ok with either.

Except for the fact that I really really wish he was here to carry out the garbage tonight so I don't have to, I'm ok on my own, and so are my kids. The man is a bonus.

Yep their good for trash. I wish I could train mine to do it. Oh well....lot's to be said for "me time"

 

[CJane]

Yep their good for trash. I wish I could train mine to do it. Oh well....lot's to be said for "me time"

Garbage taking out is the ONE thing that I usually consider man's work. lol This particular man is excellent for the dinner thing too. When he was in town more often, I almost always came home to a well-blanced home cooked meal and a perfectly clean house. I so miss that. I think the kids prefer hamburger helper though, truth be known.

 

[Ithildriel]

As it closes in on the weekend I was just curious if you contacted the GAL yet, and what her take on the situation was. Inquiring minds want to know!