General questions for pursuing physical custody.

[Silverplum]

I am not seeking anymore than what I have already been awarded. My next step is asking for alternate weeks in the summer and that is something you have agreed is a rather ordinary request.

How does a person hiring a lawyer to restrict dad's influence and dad representing himself asking for things that are usually granted under normal circumstances come off?

I get your point regarding the thirteen year old watching our daughter, scrapped from talking points.

I have no fear of the courts because I do not feel I am asking for anything out of the ordinary, how I actually request those things can use some refining though.

It's not "an ordinary request" to split the child's summer break weekly. And nobody agreed "it is a rather ordinary request."

 

[concernedpops]

That doesn't mean you got them just because you wanted them.

No that means that what I wanted was viewed as fair and consistent with what was best for our child, especially since its been the norm for the past 3 years. I could be wrong though .....

 

[concernedpops]

Using the rationale that you should have every other week in the summer time because one time a 13 year old was watching your child is just bizarre...seriously, it really is. Asking for every other week in the summer time because you believe that is in the best interest of your child is another story, and is actually fairly normal.

Silverplum ....

 

[Proserpina]

Should I even wonder who he called a phony? Hey OP, were you referring to me as a phony?

Naw, I'm the phony today. Then again, the OP might actually be at the top of the list...

I wanted weekly overnights. I got weekly overnights.

Not a single thing about the child. Just the boring refrain of "I I I me me me".

 

[Silverplum]

Silverplum ....

Okay, LdiJ agreed with you and I missed that one. I don't believe anyone else knows of a working custody arrangement that switches the child/ren weekly all summer.

I disagree with you, but it's not worth my typing to deal with you. LdiJ was right about one thing: your arrogant and pushy attitude is the spoiler. You're the type of poster I send straight to an attorney, who will be well-paid for dealing with you.

 

[concernedpops]

Naw, I'm the phony today. Then again, the OP might actually be at the top of the list...



Not a single thing about the child. Just the boring refrain of "I I I me me me".

lol I don't need to speak to you guys about my child that would be asking for parental advice. My post is about how to get me in the best position to get equal parenting time. Mom agrees I am a great dad and that I am great with our daughter, proving that to you just isn't on my agenda today.

 

[LdiJ]

Silverplum ....

I was the one who said "fairly normal". However, fairly normal is a bit different than "rather ordinary"...at least as I meant it.

 

[Proserpina]

lol I don't need to speak to you guys about my child that would be asking for parental advice. My post is about how to get me in the best position to get equal parenting time. Mom agrees I am a great dad and that I am great with our daughter, proving that to you just isn't on my agenda today.

Clearly, Mom disagrees...

 

[concernedpops]

Okay, LdiJ agreed with you and I missed that one. I don't believe anyone else knows of a working custody arrangement that switches the child/ren weekly all summer.

I disagree with you, but it's not worth my typing to deal with you. LdiJ was right about one thing: your arrogant and pushy attitude is the spoiler. You're the type of poster I send straight to an attorney, who will be well-paid for dealing with you.

Because I express myself and challenge what is being said to me I'm arrogant and pushy? Ok ... so be it.

For the record I won't insist on ONLY an arrangement where its weekly switches, I'd be open to any suggestions by the judge regarding that matter. Weekly switches seem to make the most sense since we already do weekly switches and our daughter being away from mom for more than a week seems like a bit of overkill. Regardless the idea would be to be able to make up for lost parenting time.

Weekly overnights seemed so simple I couldn't justify spending the money on a lawyer. When there are bigger, more complex issues at hand ill go running.

 

[concernedpops]

Clearly, Mom disagrees...

No mom disagrees that I'm remarried and wants to keep our child away from my wife at all costs, prior to remarrying we never had said issues. Mom's problem is that her lawyer already told our judge that she has no issue with our daughter being at my home with her step-mom if the every other weekend scenario were in effect. Clearly if her being in my home even if I'm not home isn't an issue then expanded visitation shouldn't be an issue either.

Why assume? Then you wonder why OP comes off the way he does sheesh.

 

[concernedpops]

I was the one who said "fairly normal". However, fairly normal is a bit different than "rather ordinary"...at least as I meant it.

My mistake but either one is a far cry from outrageous and out of the question ... wouldn't you agree?

 

[LdiJ]

My mistake but either one is a far cry from outrageous and out of the question ... wouldn't you agree?

Its certainly a far cry from outrageous. However, that doesn't mean that its guaranteed that you will get it.

Dad, I am actually trying to be fair to you as much as possible, and to give you as much constructive advice as possible, but SERIOUSLY...I think that if you would go back and re-read the things you have written in both of your threads, with an objective eye, that you would realize that you come across VERY poorly, and believe me it will not hold you in good stead in the future.
Every time that someone here tries to tell you that you are coming across poorly, you get even worse.

We can often tell who is going to get themselves in trouble and who is not, simply by the way that they express themselves. I have seen people who come across as you do barely end up with the minimum, and I have seen people with a more humble attitude, who get much more than anyone ever expected.

One of the people posting on this thread is a guardian ad litem. She is an attorney who is specifically trained to objectively evaluate custody situations and make recommendations to judges. She is also giving you just as hard a time as everyone else here...and she and I very often disagree on family law matters.

Maybe its not possible for you to lose the arrogance. Maybe that is part of your makeup that you cannot lose. If that is the case however, I am sad for you and sad for your child. Her best hope of living a happy children is if you and mom BOTH learn to leave your egos at the door.

 

[concernedpops]

Its certainly a far cry from outrageous. However, that doesn't mean that its guaranteed that you will get it.

Dad, I am actually trying to be fair to you as much as possible, and to give you as much constructive advice as possible, but SERIOUSLY...I think that if you would go back and re-read the things you have written in both of your threads, with an objective eye, that you would realize that you come across VERY poorly, and believe me it will not hold you in good stead in the future.
Every time that someone here tries to tell you that you are coming across poorly, you get even worse.

We can often tell who is going to get themselves in trouble and who is not, simply by the way that they express themselves. I have seen people who come across as you do barely end up with the minimum, and I have seen people with a more humble attitude, who get much more than anyone ever expected.

One of the people posting on this thread is a guardian ad litem. She is an attorney who is specifically trained to objectively evaluate custody situations and make recommendations to judges. She is also giving you just as hard a time as everyone else here...and she and I very often disagree on family law matters.

Maybe its not possible for you to lose the arrogance. Maybe that is part of your makeup that you cannot lose. If that is the case however, I am sad for you and sad for your child. Her best hope of living a happy children is if you and mom BOTH learn to leave your egos at the door.

Absolutely and I appreciate your responses, mostly your responses because of how fair you are being. Most of the others that are giving me a hard time just seem to be taking shots and taking more joy out of getting a rise out of me then actually giving real advice/criticism. It goes without saying court room etiquette can do more for me than any set of circumstances and that addressing our judge is nothing like having a conversation with mom or posting to a forum. Both mom and I surely have some work to do, I'm not so obtuse that I believe I am perfect.

Believe me I know no one arrangement is guaranteed. I've worked hard over the years to put myself in a position where I even have a case worthy of being heard. All I can do I continue to be the best father I can be and maintain my faith that God will lead me to where he intended me to be.

Good day

 

[Ladyback1]

Ok .... I got cha ... I'm clearly too passionate to be a fit parent.

Here's the deal: I work w/ a lot of parents who are very passionate about their children, about their ability to parent a child or children, etc.
But....here's the kicker--I only work w/ parents who were so very passionate about their children that they lost custody (to the state) of their children!
Passionate doesn't mean squat sometimes.
Law abiding citizen--doesn't mean squat sometimes.

Being a parent and co-parenting with the other 1/2 is difficult. Most people split up because they don't like the person or can't get along with the other person (or any variety of valid reasons).

What you fail to realize and grasp, is that Mom seems just as passionate about taking care of and being a parent to this child. So, who's more passionate? Who's right? Who's wrong?


Neither of you are right, both of you are wrong! You BOTH need to pull up your big kid panties and get over yourselves. And, now that you mention step-mom? She has no rights or responsibilities for this child--and your current wife needs to stay out of anything related to this child. She is a legal stranger. And if she's crossed that line ONE time? I can see where Mom is twitchy about the child being around stepmom.

 

[concernedpops]

Here's the deal: I work w/ a lot of parents who are very passionate about their children, about their ability to parent a child or children, etc.
But....here's the kicker--I only work w/ parents who were so very passionate about their children that they lost custody (to the state) of their children!
Passionate doesn't mean squat sometimes.
Law abiding citizen--doesn't mean squat sometimes.
Blah

Being a parent and co-parenting with the other 1/2 is difficult. Most people split up because they don't like the person or can't get along with the other person (or any variety of valid reasons).

Not my problem. I here to parent a child whether she can get along with me or not is her issue.

What you fail to realize and grasp, is that Mom seems just as passionate about taking care of and being a parent to this child. So, who's more passionate? Who's right? Who's wrong?
Mom can be as passionate, equally in fact.

Neither of you are right, both of you are wrong! You BOTH need to pull up your big kid panties and get over yourselves. And, now that you mention step-mom? She has no rights or responsibilities for this child--and your current wife needs to stay out of anything related to this child.
Stepmom stays out of it, hard for current wife to stay out of anything related to this child when we all live together. Who said she was getting involved anyway?

She is a legal stranger. And if she's crossed that line ONE time?
Crossed what line? What the hell are you talking about?

I can see where Mom is twitchy about the child being around stepmom.
I'm sure you can see where mom is coming from, this thread reeks of girl power.