Dad, People are not giving you are hard time because they don't believe that fathers should be major or even equal players in their children's lives. They are giving you are hard time because of some of the rationales that you are giving to justify what you want...and the arrogance you are displaying.
Sir if you detect arrogance its most likely because I'm being told I'm not an equal to a 13 year old or shouldn't be trusted with a gold fish, thats pretty rude and insulting.
You should never enter mom's home without a specific invitation to do so. Otherwise you are being rude and arrogant. Doing it under the guise of "getting the child ready" doesn't make it any less rude or arrogant.
I've routinely been invited into the home, I even resided at the home for a short period of time. In fact being able to walk into the home has been so common, with plenty of invitations, that I wouldn't even think twice at this point. The reason I walked in is because the kiddies could not find what they were looking for about 5 mins. Wait another 5 or just find it myself because of the familiarity I have? My greater concern is that my three year old opened the door not knowing who it was. The same way I walked in anyone who knocked on the door could have done the same. That should be more of a concern that my alleged "arrogance".
Using the rationale that you should have every other week in the summer time because one time a 13 year old was watching your child is just bizarre...seriously, it really is. Asking for every other week in the summer time because you believe that is in the best interest of your child is another story, and is actually fairly normal.
I've routinely stated my efforts are to secure whats in the best interest of our child. Unfortunately, for what ever reason, those intentions are moot around here. Part of the reason is also the 13 year old baby sitting and since mom is so secretive about who takes care of our daughter I'm inclined to believe this isn't the first time, just an assumption but a concern nonetheless. Another part is grandma works during the day, our daughter being in school covers the gap from when grandma goes to work and when mom gets home from work, see the issue there? Lastly every summer I get told to stay away up until grandma goes away on vacation and guess who gets allowed to spend more time with his daughter? If I am able to provide care when its convenient to her then why can't I do so regularly?
Insisting that a major holiday is YOUR holiday just because it happens to be one of your days off...while you are on a temporary schedule that happens to give you your days off, shows a fundamental lack of understanding about how things work.
Seeing that there was no prior order, holiday schedule or agreement, what else was I supposed to go by except the only enforceable thing which was a court order that said these two RDO's were my days?
For the record mom has always forced me to give up every holiday. I've only had her 1 new years and could have had her 1 christmas eve except mom threatened to not let me see her again until I went to court unless i returned her that day. I got to see my daughter 1 day in 2 weeks that instance. Believe me I completely understand how visitation and custody agreements work, I was in and out of court with my parents for the first 8 years of my life.
Saying that you should have primary custody because that will foster a better relationship between you and mom is again bizarre...it seriously is. It smacks of the belief that you should be "in charge" so that you can force mom to bow to your superior will.
If you read my last post you would have read where I said even if i was awarded full custody, which is highly unlikely, that I wouldn't insist that our daughter live with me. Im looking for the fairest and healthiest arrangement. Unfortunately its hard to gain any ground in that direction when mom constantly uses our daughter as a compliance tool. I, in fact, have been in charge of nothing. Had I been in charge of anything we'd be as far away from courts as possible.
So far what the judge has given you is fairly ordinary. Do not get a swelled head because you are getting what is fairly ordinary.
Sir all I've asked for is ordinary. I have a hard time accepting that getting this much grief for wanting to spend time with your own flesh and blood to be ordinary.
I just went back and reviewed your previous thread...and the same sort of pervasive arrogance came across there as well. You are not done with court yet...you have only barely started. Be darned careful because that is not going to be an asset for you.
Sir I have no fear of the courts, I have done nothing wrong nor do I put our daughter in harms way. I want fair and equal parenting as I am a fair and equal parent, nothing more.
