Dad, People are not giving you are hard time because they don't believe that fathers should be major or even equal players in their children's lives. They are giving you are hard time because of some of the rationales that you are giving to justify what you want...and the arrogance you are displaying.
I don't think that you realize it, but you are presenting yourself very poorly here. Some examples:
You should never enter mom's home without a specific invitation to do so. Otherwise you are being rude and arrogant. Doing it under the guise of "getting the child ready" doesn't make it any less rude or arrogant.
Using the rationale that you should have every other week in the summer time because one time a 13 year old was watching your child is just bizarre...seriously, it really is. Asking for every other week in the summer time because you believe that is in the best interest of your child is another story, and is actually fairly normal.
Insisting that a major holiday is YOUR holiday just because it happens to be one of your days off...while you are on a temporary schedule that happens to give you your days off, shows a fundamental lack of understanding about how things work.
Saying that you should have primary custody because that will foster a better relationship between you and mom is again bizarre...it seriously is. It smacks of the belief that you should be "in charge" so that you can force mom to bow to your superior will.
So far what the judge has given you is fairly ordinary. Do not get a swelled head because you are getting what is fairly ordinary.
I just went back and reviewed your previous thread...and the same sort of pervasive arrogance came across there as well. You are not done with court yet...you have only barely started. Be darned careful because that is not going to be an asset for you.