Holiday Trip cost me my children

[laurakaycraig]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Texas

In 2002 i was invited to visit the UK to meet a man. I had 2 children and was in the process of filing for a divorce. My husband and children took me to the airport. i told my children i would be back in 2 weeks. Well during the 2 weeks my husband moved my children out of my home took my truck sold everything I owned and moved the children. I WAS STRANDED now. I had to delay my flight back home for 3 more weeks to get legal help. I got none. No money. I was still awarded joint custody of the children but they were to live with their father. I went back to the UK and decided to live to make a life make money and promised I would someday get my children back. I speak to them on a daily basis, actually they just come to stay for 42 days this summer. IT WAS GREAT. It broke my heart to leave them again.

The reason I divorced their father was for lying and cheating problems he had. Never could he speak the truth about anything. And still doesn't. While we were in Court this past month he lied about Health Insurance. Stated it was not available thru his job, just yesterday found out that they do offer health for the children, he is carrying it privately just to cost me more. Now this was stated under oath about his employer not carrying insurance.

Also he just had his cable turned off because he was having it illegaly.for 3 years now and again he lied to the children about it, said it was on when they moved in. Not true I phoned the cable company never has been service there.

He spoke to the children all the time saying your mother abandoned you if she loved you she would be here. But the truth is He set me up to leave. he bought me a CD player gave me some money, and bought me a leather jacket for the trip. he said he was doing it to say he was sorry for the 10 years of pain he put me thru.

So he lies after lies, he is dishonest.

He tried to get sole custody this past month but the judge wouldnt have it, still joint with restriction to Texas.

My question is with the history of lies can this be purgery? esp under oath stating about the insurance? I have materail evidence that he lied . this is even signed on his discovery.

It has to stop my children only knows lies from their father. this is not healthy. How can i get a strong case to show the courts it is the best interest for me to have the children based on a parent whom is dishonest about everything?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Texas

In 2002 i was invited to visit the UK to meet a man. I had 2 children and was in the process of filing for a divorce. My husband and children took me to the airport. i told my children i would be back in 2 weeks. Well during the 2 weeks my husband moved my children out of my home took my truck sold everything I owned and moved the children. I WAS STRANDED now. I had to delay my flight back home for 3 more weeks to get legal help. I got none. No money. I was still awarded joint custody of the children but they were to live with their father. I went back to the UK and decided to live to make a life make money and promised I would someday get my children back. I speak to them on a daily basis, actually they just come to stay for 42 days this summer. IT WAS GREAT. It broke my heart to leave them again.

The reason I divorced their father was for lying and cheating problems he had. Never could he speak the truth about anything. And still doesn't. While we were in Court this past month he lied about Health Insurance. Stated it was not available thru his job, just yesterday found out that they do offer health for the children, he is carrying it privately just to cost me more. Now this was stated under oath about his employer not carrying insurance.

Also he just had his cable turned off because he was having it illegaly.for 3 years now and again he lied to the children about it, said it was on when they moved in. Not true I phoned the cable company never has been service there.

He spoke to the children all the time saying your mother abandoned you if she loved you she would be here. But the truth is He set me up to leave. he bought me a CD player gave me some money, and bought me a leather jacket for the trip. he said he was doing it to say he was sorry for the 10 years of pain he put me thru.

So he lies after lies, he is dishonest.

He tried to get sole custody this past month but the judge wouldnt have it, still joint with restriction to Texas.

My question is with the history of lies can this be purgery? esp under oath stating about the insurance? I have materail evidence that he lied . this is even signed on his discovery.

It has to stop my children only knows lies from their father. this is not healthy. How can i get a strong case to show the courts it is the best interest for me to have the children based on a parent whom is dishonest about everything?

I am really sorry, but as long as you live in the UK there is almost no chance of you recieving primary custody. A judge just isn't going to give you that unless dad is totally unfit. The lies are horrible...and if you lived in the states, preferibly in TX you might be able to get a custody change based on that....however, its simply not going to happen with you living in the UK.

 

[nextwife]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Texas

In 2002 i was invited to visit the UK to meet a man.

I'm very confused as to why a still-married woman would be flying to the UK to "meet a man"?

 

[stealth2]

That makes two of us.

 

[laurakaycraig]

I know i made a mistake and not filing for a divorce to start with, but the fact is people seperate all the time and during seperation meet someone else. I didnt leave my husband for another man. He left me he moved out. He pretended to accect the fact i was meeting someone. I was the fool for believing him, but he was dishonest and set up me up for the fall. He basically said If I wouldnt be with him I couldnt have my children.

 

[stealth2]

I personally don't see anything that would be worthy of a change in custody. I'm sorry.

 

[CJane]

I'm very confused as to why a still-married woman would be flying to the UK to "meet a man"?

And the husband bought her gifts to take along? Sweet deal.

Everyone else is right though, there's not going to be a change in primary custodian as long as you live out of country. And, honestly, while it's VERY wrong for him to tell the children that you abandoned them, I find it hard to believe you couldn't get a job in the US, but you could in the UK.

 

[laurakaycraig]

I can get a job in the US. I have a husband here and a 15 yr old son, I can easily go back. But again why do the ex's have to make the rules. It's not fair. They want us to suffer to get their way. First of all, he placed his hand on the Bible and said " I promise to you and the children if you like it in the UK I will allow the children to live there with you, the kids needs their mother" these were his words.But those words and that hand on the bible got me no where only the gifts that said your a fool for believing me. i am going back to Court and I am going to fight until I win, if it takes years but at least i know that I am trying.

 

[stealth2]

Sweetheart, you're going to need something more than that to change custody. The fact is that you DID leave you children behind. First to go on a .... jaunt to meet some guy while you were still married. And then to go live in another country - half a world away. You can call it whatever you like. But you did leave your kids behind. If nothing else, the first trip showed an incredible lack of common sense. I'm sorry.

 

[laurakaycraig]

Very stupid is the phrase to use for my first trip. I totally agree. A fool to believe him. I DID NOT leave them behind even the judge agrees I was set up. The reason he got primary custody
1) Texas laws are possession is 9/10 of the law (therefore he got all assets he had in his pssession)
2) he filed while I was out of the Country
3) I did not have the money for an attorney and was dumn to the laws I did not know I could go in alone without an attorney
4) I had no where to live no family resided in texas


The judge awarded joint custody with the restriction to the jurisdiction of the Courts. Not because MOM ran off.

Get this my ex went into my purse got the phone number for the man I was to meet and called him to tell him he hoped everything worked out, this was before my trip. he gave his blessing. (I provided proof of phone bill to judge and it was accepted that my ex set me up) but doesnt make him a unfit father. it just describes him how much a dishonest person he is. nor does it make me unfit that I went on a holiday.

I had no intentions of getting in the sack with this man, I was merely invited to travel to the UK to visit him and his family.

All the years we were married he ran off with ex girlfriends got numerous phone numbers from girls, lied all the time and best of all spent his money at strip bars. he left us for months at a time on 3 different occassions. Never did i hide the children from him or file for a divorce, I quietly took him back. and forgave him.But not in 2001 had enough. I asked him to leave for the last time told him it was over no coming back. and he left agreeable and this is what happened.

Again I will get custody. and live where i live now, if it takes all my energy to prove he is unhealthy for the children i will prove it. There are no such thing as a little lie. Lies are the same. I am a firm believer in honesty and leaving out nothing even if it looks bad. I confess i did meet a man while still married. MY MISTAKE OF MY LIFE. But the man i am married to is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He IS honest. My children adore him. They speak very highly of him as a friend not a step dad.

 

[stealth2]

Well..... I think you're deluding yourself. But carry on.

 

[CJane]

First of all, he placed his hand on the Bible and said " I promise to you and the children if you like it in the UK I will allow the children to live there with you, the kids needs their mother" these were his words.

Darlin, one thing you need to learn is that when an ex, or soon to be ex, or simply estranged spouse says something, it's most likely only to get you to 1)shut up or 2) hang yourself. You did both.

The judge isn't going to care how many les the ex tells, as long as they're not being told in his court room, and as long as the children aren't being abused. And you will play absolute hell trying to convince a judge that it's in the best interest of the children to move them to a foreign country when they still have a fit parent in the US.

Fight til you're blue in the face, it ain't gonna help.

 

[laurakaycraig]

Do you descibe a fit parent as:

1) leaving a 7 yr old girl at home by herself after school.
2) gets home at 5pm stays on phone with austriala wife until 9 or 10pm everynight.
3) does not buy them medicane (i do)
4) does not give the school emergency numbers.
5) steals from the cable company
6) lies
7) lies under oath in court( ordering transcprits to prove it) have material evidence
8) baerly cooks
9) goes days without doing dishes (imagane what is in sink besides dishes)
10) my son has to do the laundry because his dad is always busy talking on the phone
11) always tells the kids he dont have any money but he has money to buy phone cards EVERYDAY to call Australia


The only thing I can say is the list goes on. Tell me now does there have to be more? When is it enough to see that the children need to be out, what will it be next?

In December 2002 I put a phone service in in my name for my children so i can call them anytime. My ex got mad because i was interferring with his talk time with his new wife. So he called the phone service and told them he wanted it disconnected on jan 24 they did. This was illegal, he was allowed to turn off a service not in his name. He got a phone in his name.
When we went to Court the judge very mad told him his phone was now my phone . It is in the court order now. He was denying me access to the children. All because he wanted to talk to his wife and denyed me from my kids.

Now do you see what i am talking about?

So what is unfit?

 

[stealth2]

*Maybe* 1 and *maybe* 9. Which is assuming you can PROVE it happens. Apart from your kids told you.

 

[laurakaycraig]

On the 1 my daughter being left alone. YES i ahve proof , he stated to the courts she went to a certain daycare from Aug 16 - now. i ahve a letter from the daycare she started on Oct 13 with the daycare. He was asked if anyone elese provided daycare for her during these months he said no.

On 9 he admitted in court there were some objects moving around, but said he was out of town for a few days that week in set 2003 Proof: Son home from school ill with stomache Duaghter was in school. Have school records to prove daughter in school and son out of school.