If she can't afford 1/2 of kids Private School

[abstract99]

In this case its not backstabbing ex....its a dad that makes almost three times what mom does (and a mom who makes only 11.00 a hour to boot) who thinks that mom should pay 1/2 of private school tuition...and that states that if the judge doesn't agree then the kids won't be going. This is a dad who actually CAN AFFORD the private school. AND....who are you to say what kind of salary ANYONE is qualified to earn?

Wake up honey.....no parent should be required....or even chastised in any way, shape or form, because they can't afford, and don't get a second job, in order to be able to pay for private school.

You know something, I am a woman, and if I could afford private school....and I knew darned well that my ex couldn't....I would PAY FOR IT MYSELF......NO WAY would I expect my ex to get a second job!

I think what he is saying that mom is demanding that the children go to this private school but saying that she won't pay any of it.

 

[ablessin]

I was NOT saying to get a 2nd job in order to PAY for the tuition.
I was saying to get a 2nd job to pay for real necessities. I too went to a private school and changed to public in mid-high school because my parents could not afford it anymore. No fault in anyone there. I think my parents struggled with the financial burden as long as they possibly could and they were devistated when they told me - but I was understanding and took it as best that I could - for a teenager.

All I know - from personal experience is that many women take lower paying jobs than they are capable of to force the ex- husband to paying a lot. NOT all women are like that - but there are some I can think of that do it on purpose.

So what if the dad can afford it? That doesn't mean that he HAS to send them - some public schools are excellent. Private schools are a luxury - not a necessity..... YOU wake up and maybe you're going to have to make the change- in a divorce there are TONS of changed to be expected to take place....... and the luxury of a private school is one of those changes.

I would never ask my ex husband to pay a CENT of private schooling for my son - if I couldn't afford it then he would not go - UNLESS my ex wanted to help pay for it... I think as long as dads pay their fair share, enough is enough........ which is why my son goes to a public school - one I might add I am very pleased with - the teachers are great, I am very pleased with the school he is in ........ I can't afford a private school and I know that my ex could not afford 50% so I leave well enough alone.
He helps with medical costs - clothing - daycare....... what more can I ask for?

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I think what he is saying that mom is demanding that the children go to this private school but saying that she won't pay any of it.

You have to follow the whole story.
The children have gone to private school the entire time they have gone to school, it is nothing new, and he was paying for it before. Now they are separated, he wants to take away from the children to hurt the mom. He is still in the marital home, and complains that she shouldn't have an apartment for her and the kids, but rather go home to live with her father. He is very controlling. He want's her to pay more of the marital debt than him, although he makes 3 times as much ar her. It's not about private school tuition, it's because he is angry about the divorce and about, control. He is planning on making private school an issue because it will hurt both his wife and his children.

 

[abstract99]

Doesn't anybody wonder why his name has 420 in it? HMMMMM? Possible reference to something.

 

[ablessin]

Well, when they were together - there was 2 incomes paying the tuition.... now there is one. His.

Kids change schools - it's part of life - - - why is this such a big deal?

I changed 3 times in High School - nothing is wrong with me

 

[ablessin]

420

maybe 420 is his birthday

 

[bd420]

No, what I mean about the CC debt is...

If I understand you properly...and you are now talking about credit card debt rather than the private school tuition......Actually...I wouldn't recommend that. That puts you (and your credit report) at the mercy of her payment habits/ability to pay. For the credit card debt you would be better off structuring the division of assets so that you keep a higher amount of the assets in exchange for taking responsibility for the credit card debt. That way you can be certain that its paid and can keep your credit record clean.

No, what I mean about the CC debt is..., I've always maintained that I will obviously be taking 100% Full Ownership of the credit cards debt, I'm just not enamored with splitting it 50/50 on the division of assets, so, If I can have her take an additional 7k of the mountain of cc debt as hers for the purpose of the division, I end up paying her less at settlement, all while I will still, as I said, take 100% ownership of the CC debt.

Division and Ownership are 2 different things.

 

[bd420]

Devils Advocate

What else can you do?
Please! You are playing games with your children, quit your whining and do what is in their best interest. She shouldn't have to go live with her Dad because you don't want to support your children in the manner to which they were accustomed. To play your last game is beyond belief.

The kids love their school, my wife, her mom, her mom's husband, and her brother all went there or wanted them there when I didn't. Tuition has doubled in 6 years to the size of a nice house payment. Without the CC bills that my wife compiled to the tune of 72k in 6 yrs despite me fighting with her daily on this, Tuition would be a grain of sand on the beach for me, unfortunately, my bi-polar ex was recently affirmed to feel better during her non-medicated days with this mental disorder by purchasing 'things', therefore, the daily struggle I aforementioned.

If I had the means to play the role of Financial Mastermind for years 13-22, I would pay the Tuition and continue my 12 year juggling act.

It must be so damn easy to judge people when you aren't in their friggin' shoes but just hammering away behind a computer screen.

 

[bd420]

Your presumptious attitude is pathetic

You have to follow the whole story.
The children have gone to private school the entire time they have gone to school, it is nothing new, and he was paying for it before. Now they are separated, he wants to take away from the children to hurt the mom. He is still in the marital home, and complains that she shouldn't have an apartment for her and the kids, but rather go home to live with her father. He is very controlling. He want's her to pay more of the marital debt than him, although he makes 3 times as much ar her. It's not about private school tuition, it's because he is angry about the divorce and about, control. He is planning on making private school an issue because it will hurt both his wife and his children.

PS was NOT my idea, we both paid for it out of our available household income, now she's going out to eat, buying drugs, being seen all over town, and playing the I'm broke card, I can't send the kids to PS anymore by 100% funding, and all she has to do is give me the slightest amount of compensation so the few dollars i have extra per month will eventually turn into more as I slowly pay off the 5 CC's and 2 liens that will be left behind in the postmortem.

You can cram the rest jackass, and your name is also common in the 313 crackhouses as well, so I gess you do that too, right? Do us all a favor and save it, you have an axe to grind with me, others here don't, just leave the thread and spew your ignorant and unfounded venom somewhere else.

 

[bd420]

No, it was her an her families idea from the start

When you were married were you the one that had to provide all of the school tuition? I don't really know if mom can afford a private school at 11 dollars an hour (depending on how much you pay her in CS) Public schools are not that bad, it might be a better option unless you want to pay all money for the schooling out of your own pocket. If mom wants them to stay in the private school then inform her that she will at least have to pay some portion of it. I don't see how it is fair that she demands that they go but won't pay for some of it. Private schools are an optional expense. Your ex would have to prove that the public school system is inadequate in order to send them to a private school and even then she would still be more than likely required to pay for part of it.

No, it was her an her families idea from the start, we payed with our pooled money, we only had one checking account, unlike some couples, who have two.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Save it for court.

 

[ENASNI]

Oh Boy

PS was NOT my idea, we both paid for it out of our available household income, now she's going out to eat, buying drugs, being seen all over town, and playing the I'm broke card, I can't send the kids to PS anymore by 100% funding, and all she has to do is give me the slightest amount of compensation so the few dollars i have extra per month will eventually turn into more as I slowly pay off the 5 CC's and 2 liens that will be left behind in the postmortem.

You can cram the rest jackass, and your name is also common in the 313 crackhouses as well, so I gess you do that too, right? Do us all a favor and save it, you have an axe to grind with me, others here don't, just leave the thread and spew your ignorant and unfounded venom somewhere else.

Ken Ken Ken...
Still bitter I see... Tis a shame...

(420 is his daughters birthday and she likes barbie dolls)

 

[rmet4nzkx]

You can cram the rest jackass, and your name is also common in the 313 crackhouses as well, so I gess you do that too, right? Do us all a favor and save it, you have an axe to grind with me, others here don't, just leave the thread and spew your ignorant and unfounded venom somewhere else.

Really? And who has mental illness Looks like you could use some time out and a psych eval.

 

[BethM]

No, it was her an her families idea from the start

Yep, and I bet they held a gun to your head forcing you to put your children in private school. All those years your wife was running up all that credit card debt all you could manage to do was whine to her about it!

You just gotta love a passive person who points fingers and blames others aftere years of sitting by and allowing his finances to get screwed up.

Here is the point you are missing. If you didn't want your children in private school then you should have taken control of the situation and said NO. If you didn't want your wife running up credit card debt you should have taken charge of the situation and said NO.

You didn't say no though and now you are wanting your children to pay for your inability to stand up to their mother and supposedly her entire family. When you pull them out of the only schools they have ever known and they get angry as hell at you, you can turn around and blame their mother for putting you in the financial situation you are in can't you?

If your ex wife was a freak about money and had that much control over you, it's her and you who should pay. Not your children. It's not to late to stop the passive crap but you might want to do it in a way that doesn't reflect negatively on your children.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Just report back next time you go to court, how successful all your sceaming has been, also the results of your psych evaluation.