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If she can't afford 1/2 of kids Private School

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LdiJ

Senior Member
newguyhere said:
I think what he is saying that mom is demanding that the children go to this private school but saying that she won't pay any of it.
I think that if you go back and re-read his original post...you will find that wasn't the message. He wants the kids to go there, and the kids want to go there (and mom probably wants them to go there too) but mom simply CANNOT afford the tuition on a salary of 11.00 an hour. The child support she recieves is only 239.00 a month and that certainly doesn't add much to the budget for two kids.

When I first responded to him, I assumed that his child support was higher than that since he was more or less complaining about having to pay it. (I believe he called it "hidden alimony". I also figured that that their incomes really weren't as far apart as they are. When I heard what mom really made, and heard how little his child support was, I felt very differently. Therefore I answered him honestly. That there was a very small chance (since the kids have been enrolled from the start) that a judge might order her to pay some small proportional share, but even that wasn't very realistic because it would be obvious to a judge that she couldn't afford it.

His response made it clear that if mom didn't have to pay that they weren't going to be going any longer and that it would be all mom's fault. That truly disgusts me. Why?

Because he has been paying it all along. Since day one. Therefore he quite obviously CAN afford it. He is making a decision NOT to provide that to the children because mom can't ALSO afford it....and plans on blaming it on mom.
That is spite...pure and simple...and his kids are the ones who will pay for that. if the roles were reversed I would be just as disgusted with mom.

11.00 an hour is 22880.00 a year. Based on the info provided and the ratios he gave he has to be making at least 60,000....if not more because he is probably getting credit for health insurance etc. Normal child support would somewhere around 1200.00 a month for two kids at that salary level. He is paying 239.00 (which is totally fair since the custody is 50/50)...however its absurd for him to think that mom can pay half of private school tuition for two kids on an income of 22880.00 a year plus 239.00 a month in child support. It simply isn't realistic.

Plus mom isn't the one making the decision NOT to send them to private school anymore. HE is. mom has no power in this situation because mom cannot afford it. Maybe he can't either....hard to believe...but possible....maybe he would need to give up a few "toys"... However if that is the case then its NOT mom's fault, its the fault of the change in the circumstance of BOTH parents.

Look...I know that I am on a "roll" here...but COME ON.
 
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ablessin

Member
CS payment

A "normal" CS payment on $60,000 a year is $1150 per month- seems like enough to help cover the cost the private school tuition -
If the school tuition is $600 per month - that's $300 PER parent.

Maybe he didn't stand up before, BUT he has every right to do so now, and I can not blame him in the least for trying to manage his finances!!
He has bills, too just because he makes more - he is also saying he'll take FULL liabilty for CC debt. That is huge.

So what if that is the only school the kids have known? If I remember correctly, the younger kid is 7 - in what first grade? Please.
Kids change schools ALL THE TIME>

all I am saying here, is this dad has bills, a life, etc and his expenses need to be taken into consideration. If she is making $22880. a year, fine BUT she is also getting $13800 A YEAR TAX FREE - you don't have to claim the CS payments on your imcome taxes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So - in reality she is making $36,680- she is getting 50% of her income tax free - while Dad is paying taxes on that money BEFORE he forks it over to her. :eek:

If the whole point here is the tuition, and no one really can come up with something reasonable.... let the judge decide......... I still think a private school is a luxury - kids are kids - it doesn't matter where they go to school
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
ablessin said:
A "normal" CS payment on $60,000 a year is $1150 per month- seems like enough to help cover the cost the private school tuition -
If the school tuition is $600 per month - that's $300 PER parent.
Duh...she isn't getting that...she is getting 239.00 a month.

Maybe he didn't stand up before, BUT he has every right to do so now, and I can not blame him in the least for trying to manage his finances!!
He has bills, too just because he makes more - he is also saying he'll take FULL liabilty for CC debt. That is huge.
No he isn't taking that on. I suggested that it would be wiser for him to take that on (and a corresponding amount of the marital assets) purely for the purpose of ensuring that the debts were paid. If you don't understand what "a correponding amount of the marital assets" means..then ask before you respond.

So what if that is the only school the kids have known? If I remember correctly, the younger kid is 7 - in what first grade? Please.
Kids change schools ALL THE TIME>
I see nothing wrong with the kids changing schools either. What I see wrong is a situation where no one, not even dad and particularly not the kids, want the kids to change schools but dad is going to make sure that it happens because he is being spiteful towards mom....AND intends to make sure that the kids blame mom for it. Do you understand? Both Rmet and I were angry with him for intending to make sure that MOM is blamed if the kids can't continue with private school.....AND ticked at him because he obviously HAS been affording it.

all I am saying here, is this dad has bills, a life, etc and his expenses need to be taken into consideration. If she is making $22880. a year, fine BUT she is also getting $13800 A YEAR TAX FREE - you don't have to claim the CS payments on your imcome taxes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So - in reality she is making $36,680- she is getting 50% of her income tax free - while Dad is paying taxes on that money BEFORE he forks it over to her. :eek:
Sweetheart...since when does 239.00 a month add up to 13800.00 a year in tax free income? Are you actually READING these posts?

If the whole point here is the tuition, and no one really can come up with something reasonable.... let the judge decide......... I still think a private school is a luxury - kids are kids - it doesn't matter where they go to school
Of course it is a luxury...and if the parents can no longer afford it then its a luxury that the kids have to do without. However dad blaming it on mom not being able to afford 50% of the cost is "tacky" in the extreme.

Get with the program hon....read and understand what people are saying. Your last response makes it clear that you didn't read a word that I wrote.
 
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nextwife

Senior Member
BethM said:
[ If you didn't want your children in private school then you should have taken control of the situation and said NO. If you didn't want your wife running up credit card debt you should have taken charge of the situation and said NO.

You didn't say no though and now you are wanting your children to pay for your inability to stand up to their mother and supposedly her entire family. When you pull them out of the only schools they have ever known and they get angry as hell at you, you can turn around and blame their mother for putting you in the financial situation you are in can't you?

If your ex wife was a freak about money and had that much control over you, it's her and you who should pay. Not your children. It's not to late to stop the passive crap but you might want to do it in a way that doesn't reflect negatively on your children.
Y'know, what one is willing to do with TWO incomes is a very differnt matter than what they may have chosen to do on far less income.

And maybe Mom is PERFECTLY capable of earning more than $11/hour? Heck, WE pay our babysitter $10/hour (when we can even find one). Dad shouldn't always be automatically saddled with a bigger part of the costs when the ex "settles" for less income than she could make.

I went to public school, my kid goes to public school, and there is nothing wrong with it. Some kids living in million and two million dollar homes whose parents were CHOOSING public school. Growing up with kids who may be from a different religious background or economic strata can be enriching and enlightening.

Needing to actually attend school with kids like mine is not what I would classify as "making them pay". You make it sound like having to rub shoulders with mere public school kids is a tragedy for his. That they would be damaged by needing to attend school with lowly public school kids.

Maybe if his kiddos have been sheltered and isolated in a private school where they did not mingle with kids of other religions, it might be TIME to actually get to know kids who have a diverse background of beliefs! It should happen BEFORE college age. I remember being STUNNED at the total lack of awareness of other religions that some college classmates exhibited coming out of private schools (realize that the vast majority of private schools in these parts are religious).
 
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AHA

Senior Member
What's the problem??????? If Mom can't pay half of the tuition and Dad doesn't want to pay 100% of it, why do the kids HAVE to stay in this particular private school?????? It's time to come back down to earth! No more living a fluffy, cuddly fairyworld of marriage, it's divorce town now and sacrifices has to be made. Your kids aren't going to become criminals if they don't spend the rest of their school years in private schools.
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
The issue isn't whether or not the children are going to private school or not.

This is the usual standard for the children, OP not only agreed to it but also want's them to go. Furthermore, the monthy payment for 2 children is about the same as the monthly child support he is paying, about $239 per month, he can afford it and is paying it now. Mom has said she will pay all clothing costs for the childen in lieu of 1/2 tuition. Together this is less than he would normally pay in child support for two children for child support.

If you look at OP's other threads you will see that he is very controlling, he has even gotten an order disallowing 3rd party visits during parenting time and wanted to enforce it retroactively :rolleyes: When that didn't work, he went to the local narc and reported his wife and her friend as having drugs in the house, around the children and that the friend was a dealer. Apparently the narc took his report and did nothing or found nothing. While he sits in the marital home, he complains that she spends nearly $700 on rent for her and the children and that she should go home and live with her father.

OP is controling and manipulative, he is upset that he got dumped, I wonder why. He also threatens others including us on this forum, even going to the point of making totally false claims about me.
"Quote:
Originally Posted by bd420
You can cram the rest jackass, and your name is also common in the 313 crackhouses as well, so I gess you do that too, right? Do us all a favor and save it, you have an axe to grind with me, others here don't, just leave the thread and spew your ignorant and unfounded venom somewhere else."

He claims his wife has mental illness while exhibiting many aspects of mental illness himself. What is this thing with numbers anyway, a code of some sort 420 and 313?

Let him simmer in his own juices and let some judge teach him what a court can do.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
nextwife said:
Y'know, what one is willing to do with TWO incomes is a very differnt matter than what they may have chosen to do on far less income.

And maybe Mom is PERFECTLY capable of earning more than $11/hour? Heck, WE pay our babysitter $10/hour (when we can even find one). Dad shouldn't always be automatically saddled with a bigger part of the costs when the ex "settles" for less income than she could make.

I went to public school, my kid goes to public school, and there is nothing wrong with it. Some kids living in million and two million dollar homes whose parents were CHOOSING public school. Growing up with kids who may be from a different religious background or economic strata can be enriching and enlightening.

Needing to actually attend school with kids like mine is not what I would classify as "making them pay". You make it sound like having to rub shoulders with mere public school kids is a tragedy for his. That they would be damaged by needing to attend school with lowly public school kids.

Maybe if his kiddos have been sheltered and isolated in a private school where they did not mingle with kids of other religions, it might be TIME to actually get to know kids who have a diverse background of beliefs! It should happen BEFORE college age. I remember being STUNNED at the total lack of awareness of other religions that some college classmates exhibited coming out of private schools (realize that the vast majority of private schools in these parts are religious).
I agree with all of that....I could have afforded private school for my daughter (and fact argued against it with my ex). I went to public school but the area that I lived in was so isolated that it was almost like being in private school. When I went off to college it was major culture shock and only by the grace of god did I not end up being a "statistic". I wanted my daughter to have more "street smarts" than that. For the most part I think that I made the right decision, but there have been some "trying" moments.

However I have some problem with the part where you assume that mom could earn more than 11.00 an hour. On that part you sound like me and my attitude 6-8 years ago. I have since made a concerted effort to educate myself and realize that a whole lot of EDUCATED people honestly CANNOT do better than that. Of course it depends on the area and that area's job market. In your area that might be a lower level salary...in mine, its very normal/average...but benefits are generally pretty good here and I know that's not always the case in other areas.

Anyway...my whole "beef" with this guy is the fact that he has afforded it all along...but suddenly now...if its no longer possible its MOM'S fault. Sorry...but if its truly no longer possible its the fault of the circumstances...NOT the fault of mom....and maybe its really HIS fault because he is clearly being spiteful.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
rmet4nzkx said:
The issue isn't whether or not the children are going to private school or not.

This is the usual standard for the children, OP not only agreed to it but also want's them to go. Furthermore, the monthy payment for 2 children is about the same as the monthly child support he is paying, about $239 per month, he can afford it and is paying it now. Mom has said she will pay all clothing costs for the childen in lieu of 1/2 tuition. Together this is less than he would normally pay in child support for two children for child support.

If you look at OP's other threads you will see that he is very controlling, he has even gotten an order disallowing 3rd party visits during parenting time and wanted to enforce it retroactively :rolleyes: When that didn't work, he went to the local narc and reported his wife and her friend as having drugs in the house, around the children and that the friend was a dealer. Apparently the narc took his report and did nothing or found nothing. While he sits in the marital home, he complains that she spends nearly $700 on rent for her and the children and that she should go home and live with her father.

OP is controling and manipulative, he is upset that he got dumped, I wonder why. He also threatens others including us on this forum, even going to the point of making totally false claims about me.
"Quote:
Originally Posted by bd420
You can cram the rest jackass, and your name is also common in the 313 crackhouses as well, so I gess you do that too, right? Do us all a favor and save it, you have an axe to grind with me, others here don't, just leave the thread and spew your ignorant and unfounded venom somewhere else."

He claims his wife has mental illness while exhibiting many aspects of mental illness himself. What is this thing with numbers anyway, a code of some sort 420 and 313?

Let him simmer in his own juices and let some judge teach him what a court can do.
How in the world did this happen?...you and I against everybody else? :D Did the netherworld freeze over last night and we didn't notice? :cool:
 

AHA

Senior Member
No matter how much hatred and jealousy you have for the person you WILLINGLY had kids with, as a parent you are OBLIGATED to put the kids above any childish behaviour you want to act out on your ex. If you have kids, you OWE it to them to act like a mature, sensible adult FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. You don't want the rest of the world to have to pay for and deal with your messed up kids if you can't learn how to be the best possible role model for them from the second they are born. You might find it hard to find strangers that will love your kids as much as you do (or are supposed to anyway).
Grow up, step up, put your childish bitter feelings aside (you failed in marriage, you're divorced now, accept it and move on) and put your kids emotional (not materalistic!!)well being above everything else. Bitterness will get you nowhere but alone.
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
LdiJ said:
How in the world did this happen?...you and I against everybody else? :D Did the netherworld freeze over last night and we didn't notice? :cool:
I just look at the facts, objectively sooner or later we will agree. Didn't you notice I was on the mom's side against the GM in the one where Mom is a soldier deployed to Iraq. So it is at least twice today, make that three times, with the parental abduction to MD,
do do do do (Twilight zone........)
 

abstract99

Senior Member
I just thought that i would add a little insight for OP on this matter. I went to a public school all the way up to high school. I spent the four years of high school in a private school. To be perfectly honest, I enjoyed the public school better. Most of the people in the private schools are all snooty people that live off of their mommie and daddies. At least people in public schools are real. I only talk to 1 person from high school still as opposed to the 8 or 9 that I am still in contact from before then.
 

bd420

Member
nice analogy

BethM said:
No, it was her an her families idea from the start

Yep, and I bet they held a gun to your head forcing you to put your children in private school. All those years your wife was running up all that credit card debt all you could manage to do was whine to her about it!

You just gotta love a passive person who points fingers and blames others aftere years of sitting by and allowing his finances to get screwed up.

Here is the point you are missing. If you didn't want your children in private school then you should have taken control of the situation and said NO. If you didn't want your wife running up credit card debt you should have taken charge of the situation and said NO.

You didn't say no though and now you are wanting your children to pay for your inability to stand up to their mother and supposedly her entire family. When you pull them out of the only schools they have ever known and they get angry as hell at you, you can turn around and blame their mother for putting you in the financial situation you are in can't you?

If your ex wife was a freak about money and had that much control over you, it's her and you who should pay. Not your children. It's not to late to stop the passive crap but you might want to do it in a way that doesn't reflect negatively on your children.
I did say NO, where have you been? 1 NO to 1 Yes, and several other Yes's and I 'lost' out, I mean, sure I tried to physically remove the kids the first day of class and enroll them and one of the 6 elementary schools in town, but that just didn't work.
:eek:

I fought on the CC debt every single day for 4000 days, it was a sickness she had, and it's documented with a pyche as being an unfortunate by-product of her bi-polar diganosis. Lucky for everyone involved is that my ex got everything she ever bought 'on sale' :eek:

None if this is relavant however, the money has been long spent, I'm just trying to figure out what is going to happen with Tuition responsibilites, and sadly that has been lost about 20 posts ago.
 

bd420

Member
you need an S in your name for Sanctimonious

rmet4nzkx said:
The issue isn't whether or not the children are going to private school or not.

This is the usual standard for the children, OP not only agreed to it but also want's them to go. Furthermore, the monthy payment for 2 children is about the same as the monthly child support he is paying, about $239 per month, he can afford it and is paying it now. Mom has said she will pay all clothing costs for the childen in lieu of 1/2 tuition. Together this is less than he would normally pay in child support for two children for child support.

If you look at OP's other threads you will see that he is very controlling, he has even gotten an order disallowing 3rd party visits during parenting time and wanted to enforce it retroactively :rolleyes: When that didn't work, he went to the local narc and reported his wife and her friend as having drugs in the house, around the children and that the friend was a dealer. Apparently the narc took his report and did nothing or found nothing. While he sits in the marital home, he complains that she spends nearly $700 on rent for her and the children and that she should go home and live with her father.

OP is controling and manipulative, he is upset that he got dumped, I wonder why. He also threatens others including us on this forum, even going to the point of making totally false claims about me.
"Quote:
Originally Posted by bd420
You can cram the rest jackass, and your name is also common in the 313 crackhouses as well, so I gess you do that too, right? Do us all a favor and save it, you have an axe to grind with me, others here don't, just leave the thread and spew your ignorant and unfounded venom somewhere else."

He claims his wife has mental illness while exhibiting many aspects of mental illness himself. What is this thing with numbers anyway, a code of some sort 420 and 313?

Let him simmer in his own juices and let some judge teach him what a court can do.
Assuming the x and n don't stand for xtreme nonsense, you do have 1 aspect correct, in that this is about the children, as always.

They are used to this school, and to clarify, the 7 yr old is in 2nd grade, this is her 3rd yr in this system.

If you had the mental acumen to understand 1/10th of any of my other threads, you would note that I obviously am NOT 'very contorlling', rotflmao, that's an incredibly hypocritcal thing to say given my current status of uncontrolled debt.

The 'tco' that you refer, you are erroneous about it saying that it is "disallowing 3rd party visits during parenting time and wanted to enforce it retroactively", I won't flatter you with an emoticon. What it does say is that there are to be no romantic interests over during parenting time, in an attempt to keep my children from crying over this topic at the family counselor visits that I'm taking them to, bc I'm so 'controlling', ha.

"When that didn't work", wrong again motormouth, it has worked, drugboy is only over on her time.

I "went to the local narc", nice of you to belittle any of our hard working law enforcement agencies across the nation, why am I not surprised? She has many 'friends' that are dealers, but just one boyfriend that is a dealer, keep up with me metlife.

The Deputy took my report, told the appropriate DEA in our area, and forwarded my complaint number to BAYANET, along with informing the Sargeant, I guess he had nothing better do to, right?

BAYANET told me that Jason Michael Green, age 28, is NOT what they consider a major 'player' at this time, which may have been an obvious lie, as any covert operation isn't going to necessarily tell someone who could easily be a fr of the dealer calling and acting the part of a concerned parent such as myself up, and tell them squat, if they are telling the truth, I'm relieved he's small potatoes at least. But, I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, am I?

I pay nearly 2k in minimum marital debt, so I don't understand your 'complain' comment, if she's too broke that she can go to the smoke shop BUT not save something for tuition, then I'll agree to disagree, moving to her moms or dads is an easy, less expensive option for her that she's done many times in her life, most recently 7 yrs ago, I'm shir you have a point in there somewhere, although it's quite diluted at best.

"OP is controling and manipulative, he is upset that he got dumped, I wonder why", I wonder too, since I've personally never been happier about how MY life is going, I've never been unhappier about how the children's life is going either, starting to become as wrong as my wife has been recently, quite an amazing feat.

If you see anything I've written as a threat, you really need to join the real world bro, and you haven't exactly been less than inflammatory in your own right, I don't think the word angelic comes do mind when describing your diatribes.

You wouldn't last a day in the 313, that's all I'll say about numbers mr. met.

"let some judge teach him what a court can do", I have contended all along that I hope this DOES make it to court, and that my ex is the one that doesn't want it to go to court, gee, I wonder why, lol. If we do get to court, we are slated to have the same judge that ruled on her OUIL and driving the wrong way with drugs in her car that were not found, I wonder what the 'court could do' with that, eh met-wrong?

Like I said, if you don't remember things about this situation all to well, or you have your own agenda against me, then just remove yourself from the thread, you are coming off as something most people dislike: A sanctimonious, know-it-all, that slants things to make themselves appear better than others.
 

bd420

Member
Actually no

ENASNI said:
Ken Ken Ken...
Still bitter I see... Tis a shame...

(420 is his daughters birthday and she likes barbie dolls)
I'm not bitter, but the Ken thing is just 2nd grade and condescending. I'm just looking for answers to the eventuality of Tuition, etc.

Now, if I was equally as childish and condescending, I could turn ENASNI into, hmmmm InAsses?
 
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