marine_wife_17 said:
I do not take my child along for my bitter ride against the OP. He uses her against me and it is sad. Like this week I have tried to call to say goodnight to my daughter or at least say hello. He refused to answer the phone when i called but when my mother called he said that he did not have to answer my phone call. So my daughter is missing her nightly call that i usually make and talk to her. That is not fair. He does everything that i ask him not to do like put her to bed very late, give her pop and junk food. I know this is petty things but ihave asked him over and over. He does it to just prove a point that he can do whatever he wants during his week but it is not good for her.
Actually, the point he's proving is that he can get to you, and you allow it. No one can piss you off unless you LET them. You can't control how anyone acts, but you can control how you REact. Big difference.
And he's right, he does NOT have to answer the phone when you call. That is HIS time, and unless there's a court order that allows you nightly contact with her (and you sure didn't mention any) then he's not obligated to allow you to talk to her on HIS time.
You know, in all your posts you've pointed out how these things make YOU feel. Sorry to be the one to tell you this, but it's not about YOU. It's about your daughter and her father. These are some of the things you've said in your thread:
"
I have a huge problem"
"My daughters sperm donor as
we call him has her for this week"
"He gets her once a week every two months which is too much but
I had a bad lawyer who didn't care and lied to me and said that was the least he would get unless we went to court."
"yes
i am going to argue the first choice law since
i feel she is being neglected."
" understand that she will be sleeping while he is at work but
i would rather her be with me at my parents house while
i am in town then in bed with his girlfriend."
"Becasue
I am scared of them having sex when she is lying that same bed as them."
"
I jsut think that something is going on"
"He does everything that
i ask him not to do like put her to bed very late, give her pop and junk food."
"So my daughter is missing her nightly call that i usually make and talk to her.
That is not fair."
Do you see the pattern there? It's what YOU feel, what YOU want, what YOU think is right or wrong or "fair". Sorry Charlie, but you can't control every aspect of his daughter's life. He's just a sperm donor? Wanna get down to brass tacts, you're just an egg donor. What...??? Didn't like that? It's true. You had the egg, he had the sperm and TOGETHER you created this child. You didn't do it by yourself dearie. Even with all the scientific advances around now you can't create a life without an egg and a sperm. TOGETHER you became parents of a child. Like him and his parenting skills or not, the fact is that you laid down and had sex with him. Now, you are dealing with the consequences of that.
He has his child (yeah, she's not just YOUR child. Remember the egg and sperm I told you about?) once every 2 months. On his time, he can allow/not allow you to talk to her, see her, your parents see her, etc. It's his time, not yours. You can't control what he does on his time, sorry. Just because you think he's neglectful doesn't mean he is. Just because his friends and your brother (which BTW... if they think he's such a piece of $hit, why are they still friends with him??) tell you things doesn't mean he's unfit or neglectful. It's not against the law for a child to sleep with their parent. My 13 year old daughter slept in my bed the other night when my husband was working 3rd shift. Oh noes!!! I'm unfit! *rolls eyes* All 3 of my children slept with my ex-husband and I when they were younger. My son would even come and sleep in our CLOSET because he said he liked it in there. (Quick!! Someone call CPS because my son chose to sleep in my closet when he was 4 because obviously that was child abuse for him to be in there.)
You can't control what he does with her. Stop trying to. His time is his time, not yours. If it were your time the court order would say it was. Just becasue YOU would do something different doesn't mean he's harming his daughter. Just because YOU don't approve doesn't mean it's wrong or illegal. Remember, it's not about you.