Indiana Guidelines Urgent Question

[Zephyr]

Like I said if you read the whole thing my mother has a bed here for my daughter and if he will not buy one then he can have this one.

have you told him this?


then where would the child sleep when at your mom's? with you

 

[nextwife]

He probably isn't very savvy as to how to accomplish the bed thing reasonably. If he's like most guys, he'd walk into a bed store, get quoted, say $400 for a twin bed mattress, box spring, frame & headboard and say to himself "Whoa, that's too much, she's not here that much, she can sleep with me". When my kid was 2/1/2 she had a toddler bed that I bought - the frame at a kids resale shop for about $20, and the crib mattress on clearance at Target.

Good thing, too, because she always wanted to sleep IN OUR BED!

 

[Just Blue]

She is too big for a play pen and she would tip it over if she were in it. I am jsut so sick of having to be the one to provide everything. I had to get him all of his car seats and have to bring everything for her until he stopped giving it back. He is an adult and needs to act like one and take responsiblity for her and get her a bed and make sure she has everything she needs. I should not have to provide it for two homes. He does not pay child support so why should I be responsible for paying for everything that he needs in his house for her. Even if he was paying I should not have to buy all of that stuff.

I don't disagree with you ...but the bottom line is what is best for your daughter. I agree that it is inappropriate for your child to be sleeping in the same bed w/bd and his gf...so bite the bullet and get a cheap bed at a tag sale or used furniture store. Don't let your resentment of this guy overshadow your love and concern for your daughter.

bay

 

[marine_wife_17]

Like I said twice now my mom has a bed that he can use. Just so you know no she would not be sleeping with me if he took that bed my mom has plenty of extra rooms with plenty of spare beds.

 

[marine_wife_17]

By the way the court never ruled on his visistation we never saw a judge and I wish we had. But that is in the past and we are doing what we can now.

 

[stealth2]

If it's a signed order, then a judge agreed that it is not excessive. As for the sleeping arrangements - hell, go buy a sleeping bag for the kid. < $20 at WalMart. She can even bring it back and forth so she can use it at home for naps, playing, etc. Then you won't feel you're buying it for his use only.

 

[marine_wife_17]

stealth will you listen to what i said. MY MOTHER HAS A BED AT HER HOUSE THAT HE CAN USE. SO I WILL GIVE HIM THAT ONE IF HE WILL NOT BUY ONE. So can you stop talking about the sleeping arrangement and I am not going to degrade my daughter to sleeping on the floor because the idiot will not buy her a bed.

 

[stealth2]

stealth will you listen to what i said. MY MOTHER HAS A BED AT HER HOUSE THAT HE CAN USE. SO I WILL GIVE HIM THAT ONE IF HE WILL NOT BUY ONE. So can you stop talking about the sleeping arrangement and I am not going to degrade my daughter to sleeping on the floor because the idiot will not buy her a bed.

AND HE HAS TOLD YOU THAT THERE IS NO ROOM FOR A BED! Jesus Christ, woman - what are you going to do when you have SERIOUS parenting issues with this guy? This is petty crap - take it from people who have BTDT. But if this is a hill you want to die on - have at it. You've got another 15 1/2 years to go and it ain't gonna get better at the rate you're going.

Note to self - tell kids that they are no longer allowed to go camping or "camp out" in sleeping bags in the family room as it is "degrading" to sleep on the floor.

 

[stealth2]

Well, I guess by those standards I 'degrade' my SKs every weekend. SS has an awesome car bed and he sleeps in it on school nights, but he LOVES to camp out on the family room floor every weekend. Begs me nightly to sleep in there. When SD comes over EOW they both camp out in the family room on the floor. She doesn't live with us, and doesn't have a bed here. She could sleep in her brother's bed, but she doesn't want to, she wants to camp out in the family room. Hell, they could both sleep on couches. But they don't want to they have so much fun!

OMG! In the same room?!?!?! How, how, how..... *shocking*!

 

[marine_wife_17]

I am not saying your kids wanting to sleep ont the floor and play camp out is degrading them. My daughter likes to sleep in a bed so to me forcing her to sleep on the floor would be degrading her. She didn't ask to sleep on the floor like your children do. As far as room for a bed. He can make room.

 

[stealth2]

As far as room for a bed. He can make room.

You go tell a judge that. And then come back and tell us what the response was. I'll say it again - this is NOT a hill worth dying on.

 

[marine_wife_17]

There is a lot more to it then just the bed so this hill is just getting biggeer and I don't care what you think but this is my daughter and I am willing to fight for her. We already have a class d felony in the works and the warrant should be ready this week. So we are moving up the ladder.

 

[CJane]

OMG! In the same room?!?!?! How, how, how..... *shocking*!

Whatever you do, don't tell the OP that my kids sleep in THE SAME BED!!!!! I just recently got tired of watching them try to cram themselves into the same single bed when there were two in the room, and moved in one double bed. They sleep like lil angels. And sometimes, they sleep on the livingroom floor. And once, my 5 year old crawled in bed with me and my fiance. AND when they spend the night at gramma's house, they sometimes SLEEP IN THE SAME BED WITH MY MOM!!!!!!

It's a travesty, I tell ya.

 

[thetsgtswife]

There is a lot more to it then just the bed so this hill is just getting biggeer and I don't care what you think but this is my daughter and I am willing to fight for her. We already have a class d felony in the works and the warrant should be ready this week. So we are moving up the ladder.

Shaking head you are a piece of work and I feel so badly for your child. The only thing you are going to accomplish with your bad behavior is teaching your child that adults act more foolish than children.

LET it go already, save it for the important battles for Petes sake. You keep this crap up and you might just cause yourself alot of trouble in the future. Judges do not like it when people behave as badly as you are and they find more times than not that its not in the best interest of the child for a parent to behave like this so If you are looking to give this childs FATHER good solid reasons to ask for more than just visitation, keep at it!! Your going to make this very easy for him. You appear to be very unstable at this point.

On a side note, there has never been a time that I didnt pack everything the kids need for the visits to the other parents home becuase when it comes down to it its for the childs benefit. Its our responsibilty(mine and my husbands) to make sure our children have what they need in life and its what a responsible parent does. If you truly are concerned about your child not having what is needed pack it yourself each and every time and let it go with a peace of mind of knowing what is needed is there for your child.

Counseling would be a great assest for you as well.

He is not just a sperm donor, he is DADDY!!! Learn to deal with it.

TSGTSWIFE

 

[Zephyr]

if there is not enough room in dad's house for a permanent bed, what about those foldable cots for kids? those are less than 30 and when you are done the legs fold down and you slide it in the closet. or (and I gave this to my daughter as one of her xmas gifts, and she absolutely ADORES it) the disney princess sleeping bag with the air mattress built right in, leave it blown up and if fold up into a comfy kids chair.

op, there are ways to make this situation work, until you want to make it work it will continue not working. simply enough you are letting your personal feelings (contempt and loathing) for dad get in the way of figuring a workable solution for your daughter.

I also think that send her to a couselor "as soon as she is done with dad" is extrememly insulting to dad, and will prejudice your daughter against him as she ages, it will make her think that something is wrong at his place or with him that she needs to get fixed in her before she can come home to you. counseling is great when used properly.