What is the name of your state? CA
I know many of you have helped me throughout my horrible ordeal, but what does joint legal custody really mean? I explained a little of this in my last thread, but wanted to explain it further here. My ex-wife told me of an orthodontist appointment that 3 of our children had scheduled for Aug. 15th. She informed me 2 weeks prior and gave me the orthodontist information to contact him myself for info on our children. I initially wrote the ortho on Aug. 1st introducing myself as their father who lived out of the area, but shared joint legal custody of our children. I also asked that after the initial appts on Aug. 15th I be sent a breakdown of what services were needed and what costs he would be charging. I further explained my financial situation letting him know that I would be attempting to work with my ex-wife in searching out at least 2 other providers to check our children out and also give us different qoutes to help us in the decision making. I never received a reply to my faxed letter, my emailed letter nor the hard copy that went out on the 1st of the month.
The only reason I knew that the ortho office received that Aug. 1st letter was that my ex sent me one of her hostile emails telling me that she knew I wrote the ortho office and I would be getting a breakdown of the charges for all services for the 3 children, which totalled almost $15000.00 together and insurance only covering $3000 of that I believe in addition to about a $1600.00 insurance adjustment. After hearing from my ex who instructed me to send in a check to this ortho for $1009 (almost 90% of my net monthly disposable income), I wrote her about us looking at other providers for a possibly more cost-efficient provider, reminder her that our order states ”share in the right and responsibility to make decisions in matters that relate to the health, education and welfare of the children” and also that we “shall consult and cooperate with each other on substantial matters related to health, education…and welfare of the children”. This is her reply:
Please be advised per your own request that a 2nd set of orthodontic consultations has been set up for (child 1, child 2 and child 3). Child 1 and Child 2 will have their appointments on (date) and Child 3 will have 2 appointments on (date). I will release the second orthdontist's contact information and estimates to you after all the appointments have been completed. You should not expect any further orthodontic information from me until Friday, August 26th at the earliest.
You have forced me to do this in an effort to prevent you from annoying and inconveniencing the providers long before they've even seen the children. Please note it is never wise to continually harass and harangue the professionals that are available to treat your sons' emotional and health issues. Continuously barraging the providers with your incessant, long-winded and often contradictory demands, emails, faxes and flurry of letters when no correspondence is required is highly inappropriate and most certainly excessive.
The only time medical and dental billing should become an issue to you is if you've been billed a co-pay. To date, all required co-pays have been paid entirely by ME. You have not had ANY out-of-pocket medical or dental expenses.
I want to explain that I did not respond to this email as I thought I would re-read it to make sure I understood what she was saying. First of all, SHE refused to give me any information except for the dates of their appointments, then when I asked for more detailed information she said to contact the provider myself, which I did on Aug. 1st as I mentioned above. The 2nd letter to the doctor was faxed to them this morning, emailed as well and a hard copy mailed out to them. Her whole crap about me annoying, inconveniencing, and harrassing the ortho is outrageous! Aren't I entitled to the information I asked for? I think it bothered me even more that the ortho office did not acknowledge my first letter, but told me ex about it, then again did not acknowledge today's email and faxed letter, yet told her of it too...at least that is what I get from her ignorant email.
Can she do this? I didn't ask her to find another ortho...I asked her to work with me and that we should get 2 other qoutes and choose a provider whose charges will be feasible to the both of us. Her response gives me no indication that she is willing to talk to me and work together in coming up with a plan to have our children's dental work taken care of. (i.e. I thought if we narrowed it down to a provider, we could start services for our oldest child, and after a year or 2, start on the 2nd one in line, then after a year or 2 start on the 3rd child.) This way, the oldest child will have his work done before he is out of high school, and the same will happen for the 2nd and the 3rd child, will also have the same thing happen too and we would not have to be hit so hard with these expenses for all 3 children at the same time. It's funny, because when I proposed a dentistry (i.e. Loma Linda a place before we divorced we agreed would be where the children got ortho services done due to their reasonable prices) she was appalled and said she was not going to get second hand treatment for our children due to lack of finances on MY part. I don't know what the difference was when SHE suggested a dentistry school where the costs would be much less.
Anyhow, again this is long as usual to give enough detail. I am frustrated that I feel there is nothing I can do about this since she is refusing to consult and discuss large issues such as this with me. Has a CA court ever really held a CP responsible for the actions in a case such as this. In my contempt motion, which is done, but I haven't been able to get anyone to drive it to Fresno for me, or a company up there to file it too, I wanted to add this as one of the contempt issues and possibly ask the judge to not allow her to make these huge financial obligation decisions on her own, which is against the current court order. Please tell me if I will be wasting my time. I have neglected so many other of my life's responsibilities including work, church and school since this whole ugliness started. Please help me understand if joint legal custody really means that.
I know many of you have helped me throughout my horrible ordeal, but what does joint legal custody really mean? I explained a little of this in my last thread, but wanted to explain it further here. My ex-wife told me of an orthodontist appointment that 3 of our children had scheduled for Aug. 15th. She informed me 2 weeks prior and gave me the orthodontist information to contact him myself for info on our children. I initially wrote the ortho on Aug. 1st introducing myself as their father who lived out of the area, but shared joint legal custody of our children. I also asked that after the initial appts on Aug. 15th I be sent a breakdown of what services were needed and what costs he would be charging. I further explained my financial situation letting him know that I would be attempting to work with my ex-wife in searching out at least 2 other providers to check our children out and also give us different qoutes to help us in the decision making. I never received a reply to my faxed letter, my emailed letter nor the hard copy that went out on the 1st of the month.
The only reason I knew that the ortho office received that Aug. 1st letter was that my ex sent me one of her hostile emails telling me that she knew I wrote the ortho office and I would be getting a breakdown of the charges for all services for the 3 children, which totalled almost $15000.00 together and insurance only covering $3000 of that I believe in addition to about a $1600.00 insurance adjustment. After hearing from my ex who instructed me to send in a check to this ortho for $1009 (almost 90% of my net monthly disposable income), I wrote her about us looking at other providers for a possibly more cost-efficient provider, reminder her that our order states ”share in the right and responsibility to make decisions in matters that relate to the health, education and welfare of the children” and also that we “shall consult and cooperate with each other on substantial matters related to health, education…and welfare of the children”. This is her reply:Please be advised per your own request that a 2nd set of orthodontic consultations has been set up for (child 1, child 2 and child 3). Child 1 and Child 2 will have their appointments on (date) and Child 3 will have 2 appointments on (date). I will release the second orthdontist's contact information and estimates to you after all the appointments have been completed. You should not expect any further orthodontic information from me until Friday, August 26th at the earliest.
You have forced me to do this in an effort to prevent you from annoying and inconveniencing the providers long before they've even seen the children. Please note it is never wise to continually harass and harangue the professionals that are available to treat your sons' emotional and health issues. Continuously barraging the providers with your incessant, long-winded and often contradictory demands, emails, faxes and flurry of letters when no correspondence is required is highly inappropriate and most certainly excessive.
The only time medical and dental billing should become an issue to you is if you've been billed a co-pay. To date, all required co-pays have been paid entirely by ME. You have not had ANY out-of-pocket medical or dental expenses.
I want to explain that I did not respond to this email as I thought I would re-read it to make sure I understood what she was saying. First of all, SHE refused to give me any information except for the dates of their appointments, then when I asked for more detailed information she said to contact the provider myself, which I did on Aug. 1st as I mentioned above. The 2nd letter to the doctor was faxed to them this morning, emailed as well and a hard copy mailed out to them. Her whole crap about me annoying, inconveniencing, and harrassing the ortho is outrageous! Aren't I entitled to the information I asked for? I think it bothered me even more that the ortho office did not acknowledge my first letter, but told me ex about it, then again did not acknowledge today's email and faxed letter, yet told her of it too...at least that is what I get from her ignorant email.
Can she do this? I didn't ask her to find another ortho...I asked her to work with me and that we should get 2 other qoutes and choose a provider whose charges will be feasible to the both of us. Her response gives me no indication that she is willing to talk to me and work together in coming up with a plan to have our children's dental work taken care of. (i.e. I thought if we narrowed it down to a provider, we could start services for our oldest child, and after a year or 2, start on the 2nd one in line, then after a year or 2 start on the 3rd child.) This way, the oldest child will have his work done before he is out of high school, and the same will happen for the 2nd and the 3rd child, will also have the same thing happen too and we would not have to be hit so hard with these expenses for all 3 children at the same time. It's funny, because when I proposed a dentistry (i.e. Loma Linda a place before we divorced we agreed would be where the children got ortho services done due to their reasonable prices) she was appalled and said she was not going to get second hand treatment for our children due to lack of finances on MY part.
I don't know what the difference was when SHE suggested a dentistry school where the costs would be much less. Anyhow, again this is long as usual to give enough detail. I am frustrated that I feel there is nothing I can do about this since she is refusing to consult and discuss large issues such as this with me. Has a CA court ever really held a CP responsible for the actions in a case such as this. In my contempt motion, which is done, but I haven't been able to get anyone to drive it to Fresno for me, or a company up there to file it too, I wanted to add this as one of the contempt issues and possibly ask the judge to not allow her to make these huge financial obligation decisions on her own, which is against the current court order. Please tell me if I will be wasting my time. I have neglected so many other of my life's responsibilities including work, church and school since this whole ugliness started. Please help me understand if joint legal custody really means that.
