It's Finally Somewhat Over

[breezymom]

...Or I could post the proposed schedule change on OFW and tell him it is there, where we are supposed to be doing it. If he wants to work things out and see it,then start following the court order and use it.

Love it that this always happens not only on a weekend, but a holiday weekend.

 

[breezymom]

Anyone...please? I know you guys are great at giving unbiased opinions.

I've not made a big deal about the small stuff and it's adding up. The problem is going to be that he will not agree to anything I put forth, but will expect some ridiculous schedule.

I've predicted nearly every single move he's made so far and I knew this was coming, which is why I emailed my lawyer a couple weeks ago.

He's going to go back to trying to control the entire situation...my DV counselor and I both see it, which is why she told me to email my lawyer those couple of weeks ago.

I don't want to get backed into a corner.

As a side note, he's trying to make me feel guilty that he "has" to call off work...not one day but both. I'm not sure why, when kiddo is dropped off at 2, he has to call off his job that starts at 6.

He's had months to sort stuff out and since he started Friday, he could have even sent that message long before today, the day before, but that's typical, so I expected it. Besides that I have no idea what he is actually asking because what he typed made no sense whatsoever.

 

[breezymom]

I read it again and I'm guessing he is not calling off work, but the visit. This is what I mean and what is SO bloody frustrating.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Since I'm feeling lazy today (offloaded a truck and trailer today), what is the current court ordered parenting time? dad's new schedule? kiddo's school schedule?

 

[breezymom]

Parenting time:

Mon 9 AM to Tue 2 PM (every other week)

Saturday 9 AM to 3 PM (every other week, same week as the over night)

Kiddo does not start Pre-K til next year, but is in a program where she is involved in some of the UPK activities. Right now, if she asks if one of us is picking her up early and is told no, she says she doesn't want to go then (which doesn't fly since I have to work anyway). Even with her absent most of those two days, I still have to pay for full time care since she is there the rest of the two weeks' time.

So my proposal is for parenting time to be:

9 AM Saturday through 7 PM Sunday

Same amount of hours, on days he doesn't work, and her sister will be there.

He will, however, have to find a sitter for the three hours it takes for him to take her sister back home, since her sister lives in the county that is prohibited by court order that we take her in.

His work schedule is Mon-Friday 6 PM to close...so about 1:30 AM or so.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Why not bring the child home BEFORE taking the sister so that a sitter is not necessary?

 

[Ohiogal]

Parenting time:

Mon 9 AM to Tue 2 PM (every other week)

Saturday 9 AM to 3 PM (every other week, same week as the over night)

Kiddo does not start Pre-K til next year, but is in a program where she is involved in some of the UPK activities. Right now, if she asks if one of us is picking her up early and is told no, she says she doesn't want to go then (which doesn't fly since I have to work anyway). Even with her absent most of those two days, I still have to pay for full time care since she is there the rest of the two weeks' time.

So my proposal is for parenting time to be:

9 AM Saturday through 7 PM Sunday

Same amount of hours, on days he doesn't work, and her sister will be there.

He will, however, have to find a sitter for the three hours it takes for him to take her sister back home, since her sister lives in the county that is prohibited by court order that we take her in.

His work schedule is Mon-Friday 6 PM to close...so about 1:30 AM or so.

Why does the court order prohibit the child from going to that specific county? Why not alter that so he doesn't need to get a sitter?

 

[breezymom]

He could definitely do that and I thought about suggesting that, too. He wouldn't be picking her back up until 9 PM. That doesn't matter to me, but a sitter could have her in bed, as well. I could see him saying that's too late, but honestly I'm not sure what to do, since he'd be working Friday night.

It's either drop her off here and pick her up late or get a babysitter.

He still does not have overnights with his 6 year old, that I know of, otherwise that may make things easier. And that's that I know of emphasized.

 

[breezymom]

OG, sorry...posting hx for that I think is in another old thread.

He had various issues, apparently, as it came out, in both our county and that one, that led him to, according to him, "Have [his] life threatened," and "get run off the road by police," etc.

So, it was deemed by the judge to be unsafe for our child to travel in that county.

 

[Ohiogal]

OG, sorry...posting hx for that I think is in another old thread.

He had various issues, apparently, as it came out, in both our county and that one, that led him to, according to him, "Have [his] life threatened," and "get run off the road by police," etc.

So, it was deemed by the judge to be unsafe for our child to travel in that county.

Sorry. I couldn't remember and I didn't want to search.

 

[breezymom]

Oh nooo, please don't apologize. I just wanted that thread buried, so I am happy to provide of a rehash of certain things. It's no problem at all.

 

[gr8rn]

I like your proposal (9am Saturday to 7pm Sunday). Of course, you know that even though it is reasonable, he won't like it because YOU suggested it. It's all about control for him.

You have to go back due to the contempt issue. I just hope the judge gets as fed up with his bs as you are. Honestly, 3 months and he still hasn't even started to use OFW? I hope the judge rips him a new one.

 

[breezymom]

Ok, with the news I got about the full time position at work, I'm in the mood for action and sticking up for myself, so...

We will be moving on three months exactly within the next week of when he was supposed to have provided my lawyer, in writing, the email address for OFW.

I've tried setting it up myself, as a recap of this thread, since he did not follow that part of the order, SO...

Does anyone here think any judge would consider it a mole hill if I filed contempt?

I've not heard from my lawyer since I emailed nearly a month ago.

Is this one safe to go through it without a lawyer?

There is also the possibility that it may bring up a contempt on his psych exam if he hasn't done it, yet.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

The reason the JUDGE ordered Family Wizard is because of his over the top behavior, right? 3 months - he's out of excuses. Ditto on the psych eval - I take it he hasn't even made a date, correct? I would go for the contempt, ask that he be sanctioned to pay for all your fees, including filing fees, etc. I would ask that visits be supervised (have a plan) until such time as completion of the psych eval and that it has been turned into the court. Ask the judge to order that he coordinate all the information needed for Family Wizard right in the court house before he leaves.

 

[breezymom]

Yes, Tink.

And let me put it this way:

He apparently didn't understand,


"The father shall provide to the mother's attorney in writing his preferred e-mail address withing eight (8) days of service of a copy of this order,"


...since he said he called and left it with the secretary.


or

...it is further ORDERED that the parties shall utilize the Our Family Wizard website to communicate, arrange visitation and share pertinent documents regarding the child,"

since he responded that [he] thought we were using [facebook] at this time and it's nearly three MONTHS later.

In other words, he is stalling setting up the account so he doesn't have to use it. It also says,


"Once the website is setup, the parties shall thereafter conduct all communications regarding visitation, pick-ups and drop-offs of the child, information sharing, schedule changes, and other matters using Our Family Wizard. The parties shall no longer communicate with each other via Facebook or post derogatory comments about each other on Facebook or on any other similar social media websites. The parties shall post all communication regarding issues related to the child exclusively on the OFW website. All medical, therapy, school and similar appointments, medications, and activities shall be posted promptly as soon as they are known, and the child's grades, school attendance and progress reports, and similar information should also be posted in a timely manner."

I mean it seems pretty blunt and understandable to a general layman, does it not? I'm not getting what he doesn't understand...