Jurisdiction??

[tranquility]

Maybe I missed it, but I didn't see where anyone really said she should not support her son who is accused, but she has a legal - and moral - requirement to protect her minor daughter from further assault

For Carl:

Your daughter told you that her s-brother molested her. Why do you give a **** about HIS legal issues?

(Blue Meanie)

I would be out of there with my kid in a heartbeat - and not give a flying nutria rat's butt about his legal issues.

(stealth2)

I've never been faced with the situation of someone threatening my daughter's life, but I'm 100% sure that if I WERE faced with that situation, my first reaction would not be to do nothing.

(mistoffolees)

We do take children from homes where sexual predation occurs and the parents are failing to take action to protect the minor child. If that is hatred, so be it.

(cdwjava)

I just threw up a little bit in my mouth...

you've GOT to be kidding me.

(Court Clerk)

My child knows that the only person I am willing to go to jail over is him. Meaning, should anyone dare to violate him or hurt him, I'll be needing to hire an attorney. You can call it hate, you can call it what you want to, but my kid knows that hell will fall on someone's head should they cross that line.

(Court Clerk again)

We are ALWAYS going to concern ourselves more with the victim than the predator.

I am shocked and appalled at your attitude towards this entire episode. Further, have you even THOUGHT about how the victim feels here?

Not only is she a victim, but the adult role models closest to her are, at best, minimizing her trauma or, at worst, reinforcing the feeling of helplessness and worthlessness that such an attack produces.

(cyjeff)

This poor excuse of a mother is not worth tossing my cookies over. I hope this poor girl has someone who can do right by her because mom here certainly can't.

...and that is not hatred spewage, it is a FACT.

(Antigone*of*Greece)

Look on the plus side... you won't have to wait for God's judgment.

A mortal judge will have something to say about your behavior in short order.

I hope that my God will look upon my actions in trying to help the victim of long term sexual abuse favorably... for mine is a compassionate God that raises up the victim while punishing the guilty.

We will just have to see how that works out, huh?

(cyjeff again)

If this mother continues to not protect her child, DCS will remove the girl and put her someplace where she will be safe. It's apparent from reading her posts that this mother is choosing her husband, and by extension his son, over her child. I find it pathetic that anyone would chose a spouse over an innocent child, but then again I have morals and ethics.

(Indiana Filer)

If I were you, I would concentrate all my efforts on praying for forgiveness for continuing to put your daughter in harms way. Your God might forgive you... but your daughter may not. I know that I wouldn't.

(stmfitr636 )

In a household containing both accused and victim, the victim's needs win.

(cyjeff)

Accused? The OP acknowledges the abuse happened.

and to cyjeff:

That is it, in a nutshell.

(Zigner)

Once again:

Maybe I missed it, but I didn't see where anyone really said she should not support her son

Um...yea, maybe you missed it.

 

[cyjeff]

Maybe I missed it, but I didn't see where anyone really said she should not support her son who is accused, but she has a legal - and moral - requirement to protect her minor daughter from further assault. The same legal obligation does not exist for stepmom to financially or morally support her son, the accused.

If mom wants to support the son over the daughter, then she needs to send the daughter to a safe place free from the abuse that she seems to acknowledge has occurred. She is then free to pay for attorneys, hug her stepson, or take whatever actions she feels are appropriate. But in my state (and most others) we tend to remove children from the homes of parents who knowingly place their children in danger from sexual predation. It is mom's failure to protect this young girl that is most appalling.

I never said that the accused should not have the free and open access to counsel.

I said that the accused should not have the free and open access to the victim.

Imagine that for just a second.... you LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE WITH THE MAN THAT SEXUALLY MOLESTS YOU. And mom and dad are worried about HIM.

Do you think there has been any victim intimidation here? Over the breakfast table?

I am appalled myself... because the victim isn't being protected. This isn't a question of the accused's rights... it is a question of how victimized does the daughter have to be before mom figures out that she is NOW A WILLING PARTICIPANT in the next assault.

And there will be one... after all, there is an abundance of opportunity.

 

[cyjeff]

Tranq...

You seem to think that the accused has more of a right to the familial home than the victim does.

Why would that be... especially since the OP is the PARENT of the victim and the STEPPARENT of the accused.

Let the accused parents take care of the accused. How about the victim's parents take care of her.

You seem to be getting all twisted over the protection issue around the victim. I really don't understand that.

 

[tranquility]

So, you agree the OP should support the *suspect* in any legal matters?

 

[mistoffolees]

So, you agree the OP should support the *suspect* in any legal matters?

I don't know about anyone else, but, I do. OP should do her best to support the suspect.

But FIRST, she should ensure that the suspect has no further contact with the poor victim. Send him to go live with his other parent until the situation is sorted out. Support him. Talk to him. Hire an attorney for him. BUT DO NOT CONTINUE TO EXPOSE THE DAUGHTER TO THE POTENTIAL FOR MORE ABUSE.

And that's consistent with what I said. I never said he should be abandoned. My response was:
"I've never been faced with the situation of someone threatening my daughter's life, but I'm 100% sure that if I WERE faced with that situation, my first reaction would not be to do nothing."

What do you find offensive about that statement?

 

[cyjeff]

From a legal standpoint, the most valuable thing that the boy's parents can do is separate the accused from the victim to prevent further incidents or other actions which the court will frown upon....

from the victim's side, it is also the NORMAL AND RIGHT thing to do.

Whether the OP, as step parent, should put that defense over the protection of her child, the victim, is another matter.