Kids finally have an appointment with a counselor...

[doc2b]

Works better if the CHILD helps to make it. The part of "writing" it helps to transport that concept to the brain.

That makes sense...they helped make their chore chart, and had fun with that (are usually pretty good about remembering it, too)

 

[wileybunch]

Well, we got her the aloe juice and kefir (just making a "smoothie" out of them)...she hates it, but is willing to gag it down because she had a whole day without any stomach complaints and actually no headache either (The aloe juice is pretty disgusting to me, but we all tried it and my hubby and stepson thought it was okay, so maybe it's just an acquired taste).

Awesome. Yeah, I don't sit down and sip on a glass of juice, I swig it back. I used to plug my nose when drinking it as I'm not drinking it for enjoyment, but the taste is really not a big deal now and aloe juice is my friend so I just drink it. But, I still just swig it. It's only a few ounces at a time. I'm glad it helped her! You don't know how much suffering it relieved for me ... and I'm nowhere near a health fanatic of any sort so I was desperate when I stumbled on that working for IBS and decided it couldn't hurt to try.

The biggest issue is, how does dad approach mom about not discussing her issues with him in front of or directly with their 8 year old daughter and son? This is an ongoing thing, and it stinks that she thinks it's okay to put their kids in the middle of everything just because she's not grown up enough to try and talk to dad about it.

Honestly, you will never be able to stop it unless Mom wants to because there are sooo many ways to "communicate". Mom could stop all words, for example, and just use body language, even subtlely, and child would know what Mom's "saying". Nevertheless, if he's going to court anyway, this is something he should bring up. Let the referee speak/lecture on the subject as this is the kind of thing that either or both could get a dressing down on as a "reminder" of what's appropriate.

 

[doc2b]

Awesome. Yeah, I don't sit down and sip on a glass of juice, I swig it back. I used to plug my nose when drinking it as I'm not drinking it for enjoyment, but the taste is really not a big deal now and aloe juice is my friend so I just drink it. But, I still just swig it. It's only a few ounces at a time. I'm glad it helped her! You don't know how much suffering it relieved for me ... and I'm nowhere near a health fanatic of any sort so I was desperate when I stumbled on that working for IBS and decided it couldn't hurt to try.

Honestly, you will never be able to stop it unless Mom wants to because there are sooo many ways to "communicate". Mom could stop all words, for example, and just use body language, even subtlely, and child would know what Mom's "saying". Nevertheless, if he's going to court anyway, this is something he should bring up. Let the referee speak/lecture on the subject as this is the kind of thing that either or both could get a dressing down on as a "reminder" of what's appropriate.

Thanks for suggesting it! I don't know how effective it will be since she'll miss two days of it when she's with her mom, but it's got to be better than nothing at all. I'm just waiting for her mom to email dad again about how we make the kids eat disgusting things (last time it was over wheat pasta and eggplant parm, I think) and it's abusive. I've always cooked fairly healthy and don't let much sugar in the house, so it's not very exciting kid food-but I'm learning how to dress it up for them a little

I'll let him know to bring it up to the referee. I should know by now that no matter what he says or how he says it, his ex is always going to put on the earmuffs and go back to the same old junk. Maybe if somebody else addresses it, she'll start to listen (can't get high hopes, though-she's always right no matter how wrong she is).

 

[wileybunch]

I should know by now that no matter what he says or how he says it, his ex is always going to put on the earmuffs and go back to the same old junk. Maybe if somebody else addresses it, she'll start to listen (can't get high hopes, though-she's always right no matter how wrong she is).

Yes, that is probably what will happen. But, DH can at least enjoy watching her get reamed out for it. The thing is there are some people with egos so large and self esteems so small that they will act like it doesn't bother them, but it has to with that personality type so your DH can sit back and enjoy someone else smacking her a little -- and with her knowing HE is witnessing it all. So if for NO other reason than she wants to stop getting the smack down by the judge, MAYBE she will tone it down.

 

[doc2b]

Yes, that is probably what will happen. But, DH can at least enjoy watching her get reamed out for it. The thing is there are some people with egos so large and self esteems so small that they will act like it doesn't bother them, but it has to with that personality type so your DH can sit back and enjoy someone else smacking her a little -- and with her knowing HE is witnessing it all. So if for NO other reason than she wants to stop getting the smack down by the judge, MAYBE she will tone it down.

I sure hope it helps her to tone it down...I have a feeling if that happens she's going to blow up at the referee during hearing (she's extremely defensive and can't hold her emotions). Stuff seems to be coming to a head lately and she's acting a fool about everything. He would definitely enjoy seeing someone putting her in her place for a change, but he also knows that she tends to take stuff out on the kids knowing it gets to him, so it would be a bittersweet experience. We'll see what happens