mediator did not want to hear anything

[dallas702]

The facts seem to be: dad has been awarded primary custody, and has a CO showing that and the schedule. Mom is in contempt of that CO. The mediator's opinion doesn't change anything.

Dad needs to go get son with police if necessary. Dad needs to find out if there really is a court date for a change of custody plea....and be there to defend his current order.

The alleged porno is moot unless there is absolute proof that the child is allowed access.

Why did dad sit back and allow mom to steal his son away and register him in another school? He should go to the school, present the current CO, and get his son out of there.

Whatever he does, if dad wants to keep PC of his son he has to get some balls and fight for him. Otherwise, just let mom win and have him.

 

[LdiJ]

The facts seem to be: dad has been awarded primary custody, and has a CO showing that and the schedule. Mom is in contempt of that CO. The mediator's opinion doesn't change anything.

Dad needs to go get son with police if necessary. Dad needs to find out if there really is a court date for a change of custody plea....and be there to defend his current order.

The alleged porno is moot unless there is absolute proof that the child is allowed access.

Why did dad sit back and allow mom to steal his son away and register him in another school? He should go to the school, present the current CO, and get his son out of there.

Whatever he does, if dad wants to keep PC of his son he has to get some balls and fight for him. Otherwise, just let mom win and have him.

While I agree with that advice in most circumstances, it appears that they are already back in court. Therefore, I am not sure that its wise to advise him to remove the child from school...or take otherwise drastic steps to get the child back. We don't know what kind of temporary order the court may be put in place. (if any)...since they have been ordered to mediation.

 

[bononos]

OP and Dallas-
This involves more than adult porn:

"my husband used to work for a state university in Pa, back in november a fellow employee made a complaint stating that my husband was visting adult and child porno sites."

I think child pornography is an issue for custody.

Adult porn, yeah moot.
Child?

He was, remember, fired for this after a hearing. There must have been some evidence of this for a state employer to fire him. Plus it was sent on to the police:

"the state police and others keep saying that there are pics of children on this harddrive however we have the pics in question and they are far from being children or animals involved... the military came to my home and talked with both myself and my husband asking about these pics"

Again, OP, what are the reasons stated in the complaint the mother made to modify custody?

 

[corset]

thanks guys for replying
if it were my kids being put through this i would be taking every step known to men and women and fight for my kids
however my husband does lack the balls to fight for his son, perhaps he just sick and tired of the ex wife going against the court system
however its his own fault that he does not fight
we have argued to the point where this situation is effecting our marriage and home life, i can and have given him the advice to file contempt charges before this situation went to the mediator however my advice was not taken

the only thing i can do is sit back and watch a relationship be torn apart,and its not easy, i pray that my husband gets the balls he needs to fight for his son, he has been the primary care giver since the son was 10 months old, the mother walked out and decided that he boyfriend was more important than her son, go figure,
thanks again
if there is any more ideas or suggestion please write back

 

[bononos]

OK, last time I'll ask.
What were the reasons mother listed in her motion to modify order?

Without knowing that, no one can help.

Is she aware of the porn issues?
Is that why she filed to modify?
Is that why she is witholding visitation?

You do realize, even though hubby wasn't charged with posession of child porn, there are still police reports on the incident and she could use the employer as a witness. And, either the police or the employer have the actual pictures or files that could be brought into court.

And again, he could file contempt, but it will most likely be consolidated. When the custody hearing comes around, if she is witholding the child for the child porn issues, and she presents the right evidence, a judge may realize she was acting in the best interest of the child in not allowing visits.

 

[corset]

i have stated this over and over again
we have proof that the pics in volved are not child or animal porn
and to access the computers you need to know the passwords
and the son did not know them
in fact the computer has two passwords

 

[corset]

the mother is not aware of what goes on in our house
just like we are not aware of what goes on in her house

the custody was modify because she feels she is able to give the child everything he needs, this is not the first time she has tried to modify the custody
every summer we go through this situation
from the time i have known my husband which is over five years she goes through this very same process trying to modify the custody

 

[rmet4nzkx]

i have stated this over and over again
we have proof that the pics in volved are not child or animal porn
and to access the computers you need to know the passwords
and the son did not know them
in fact the computer has two passwords

That doesn't matter, it is the fact that you husband has been BUSTED for adult and CHILD porn. Your perception of what is porn or not is not relevant, that is why your husband hasn't done anything, because he knows if he pushes it, he will be exposed. That is why you won't answer the question about what the modification is for, And if mom doesn't know, she will if someone hasn't already told her or interviewed her.

BUSTED!

 

[corset]

i have dug up the modification reasons
the child has lived with the mother since june of this year,(mother has him during the summer months)
and that she can take better care of the son
that is all that is said on the modification

nothing else

as for withholding visitation? there is no abuse, nor neglect in the house
no sexual abuse in the house nor porno being freely watched or having hanging around the house, in fact the playboy mazs have been shredded..
now many of you might not agree with my next statement, the mother did give the son a victoria secret catalog which husband and i found in his room, now if i was a prude i would consider that catalog soft porn, but since im looking at it as a young boys curiosity.
as for this situation with the modifying
the mother since day one of husband and i living together has tired everything to get son away from father
once she even listen to a conversation between myself and my bank
and the next monday called ex husband and asked if we were having money problems. my husband and i had a stable home life until this modification,
we are honest people who are doing the best we can with raising the kids,
my ex husband has told the courts that our kids are better off with me,
i am college educated and like many others in life have made mistakes but where the kids are concern we have and always will put their needs infront of ours.
we dont promise them items such as cars, cell phones last summer when ncp and cp went to counseling these items were mentioned infront of the counselor
we dont know why the son does not want to come home, perhaps like he stated he has a real girlfriend, perhaps the mother has again stated to him that he will recieve the car and or cell phone, who knows because their no communciation and if it was because of the porn, it would had be stated on the modification,,

lets face it until the son and father talks we will never know what is the real reason behind this
perhaps its because he dont like his step brother or it could be because he wanted a real girlfriend, we just dont know
thanks

 

[bononos]

A. Does the motion to modify mention the porn?

B. If the child had access or passwords at this point is moot, possession of child porn is a crime and certainly a reason to lose custody. If the police or employer have proof of this, he's screwed.
What is your "proof" that there was no child porn?

C. Maybe you and hubby should find some better things to do with your time.

D.There needs to be good reason to modify, does the motion simply state she thinks she'll be a better mom now that she's a stay-at-home? That's it?

E. I'm not trying to judge you, but you are avoiding alot of questions here.

F. Were the porn issues brought up at mediation?

 

[bononos]

We were posting at the same time.

 

[corset]

to the comment of about being BUSTED
TAKE THIS loud and clear, i have the pics in questions and they are not child porn
self rightous ass
let me look into your life and see if you have lead a rightous path

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Busted

the mother is not aware of what goes on in our house
just like we are not aware of what goes on in her house

the custody was modify because she feels she is able to give the child everything he needs, this is not the first time she has tried to modify the custody
every summer we go through this situation
from the time i have known my husband which is over five years she goes through this very same process trying to modify the custody

This post conflicts with this one:

first and foremost the computer has passwords and the son is not allowed on the computer
second we havent downloaded nor looked at any porno since this situation begin two years ago
second you have been told everything
the ncp mother felt that she since she was a stay at home mom it would be better for david to be there
my role as a stepmother is one of compassion and non judgemental unlike some on this forum
.........
and what do you think the son is or was doing well father was deployed? he was calling himself subterrean boy because he spent most of his time either watching tv or playing video games and btw he has access to a computer over at his mother house, and in fact looks at porno or soft porno over there so before you start slinging the mud look dont be sooo quick to judge people

thank you

TAKE THIS loud and clear, i have the pics in questions and they are not child porn
self rightous ass
let me look into your life and see if you have lead a rightous path

The only one who can do that the is Jesus and last time I looked, that wasn't your name.

 

[bononos]

Righteous??????

Hay, more power to ya for "having a healthy sex life", but if porn is what it takes to get that??????

What I am seeing is a woman defending a man with problems.
This man has not only jeopardized his career due to porn not ONCE, but TWICE.
Child porn or not, that's a problem an inappropriate behavior for a parent.

 

[corset]

for the final time
there is NO CHILD PORNO PERIOD END, I HAVE THE PICS IN A SAFE PLACE AND THEY ARE NOT IN THE HOUSE
second the ncp has tried taking the son from the very beginning
we also have parential blocks on the computer
what else does it take
this is the whole story for god sake