State: Nebraska
I understand your situation. My husband went through very similar things with his ex-wife. They had two children together-ages 8 & 10. She has mental health problems. My husband's advantage here is that in the last few years he went to graduate school and is now a Mental Health Therapist. He knows she has mental problems and has the credentials to back him up. Plus, a family doctor here in town showed my husband his son's file. there were times when ex brought son in and tried to cry and get the doctor to think that husband was abusing her. The doctor told my husband she was crying fake tears and is mentally ill. Husband has 50/50 custody right now and we live in same town as mom. She lives about 6 blocks from us. When they are at her house, they aren't allowed to talk to us or come see us. We are taking her to court for full custody when we have enough money. Like you, we do not want to "take them away from her",they just will not live with her and will have visitation. We are looking at their best interest. I have not mentioned what she does that is harmful to them. There isn't enough room to write it all. If you want, I will tell you some of the most signicant things she has done.
Being the dad in a divorce/custody situation is not easy. Our society is biased against fathers. Most people in general think/assume that mothers are better fit to have custody of children. That is not always the case.
Hang in there for your kids. They need you. I'm sorry there are people on here who are judgmental and mean. I don't know what good it does to doubt what someone has posted.