Modification of Support/Daycare/Visitation

[CourtClerk]

Ask him if he knows any good daycares

They don't live anywhere near each other.... how is he supposed to know of any good daycares in her area?

The onus will be on her to find the daycare for many reasons:

1. She's the custodial parent. If she doesn't find daycare, then she can't go to work. He sure as hell won't be driving somewhere about 40 miles just to take the kids there.

2. He isn't (and I wouldn't either) going to be driving 40 miles just to scope out daycare centers when he has a perfectly capable exwife that can do it on her own.

 

[LdiJ]

They don't live anywhere near each other.... how is he supposed to know of any good daycares in her area?

The onus will be on her to find the daycare for many reasons:

1. She's the custodial parent. If she doesn't find daycare, then she can't go to work. He sure as hell won't be driving somewhere about 40 miles just to take the kids there.

2. He isn't (and I wouldn't either) going to be driving 40 miles just to scope out daycare centers when he has a perfectly capable exwife that can do it on her own.

I agree. Plus, she doesn't need his agreement to get child care so that she can work.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

The reason I suggested like three daycare scopes was because he is Mr. Moneybags. If she has three choices and she selected the least expensive ofthe three, then he probably won't squawk as loud.

Stampy - you probably know which one you are going to select. I would get the rate sheets of two more expensive one to show that you are being vigilant of his pocketbook.

Yes, she must inform him. That's why I suggested earlier on him seeing the rates so he doesn't think she's making it up.

 

[CourtClerk]

I agree. Plus, she doesn't need his agreement to get child care so that she can work.

No she doesn't, however, depending on how the CO is written (and we won't know because she can't find it), she may need his agreement as to WHERE the kids go. In fact, there are standard forms in CA that says there must be an agreement as to enrollment in daycare, etc. However, her CO is old, and I doubt that it is there...

 

[sipa]

I hate daycare it is so expensive, thank god the two of you had your Mom for so long.

This year we lucked out DH works from home and since I am now responsible for 64% of day care expenses it came just in time.

I personally think Stamp that you are approaching this all level headedly and he should be grateful to have such a considerate ex. Although do we as considerate ex's ever get credit.....NO

 

[StampGirl]

No she doesn't, however, depending on how the CO is written (and we won't know because she can't find it), she may need his agreement as to WHERE the kids go. In fact, there are standard forms in CA that says there must be an agreement as to enrollment in daycare, etc. However, her CO is old, and I doubt that it is there...

Daycare is not addressed in our court order. The point is that the daycare I want them to go to is on their elem school campus. No transportation is needed to get them to the daycare.

He has been adament on NOT paying for daycare. So its going to be a fight. None of the forms I saw online CC are part of our court order! So its very old.

To the poster who suggested offering him to come find one LOL!!! My ex is a very busy detective who lives 40+ miles away AND works anothe 40 miles from there. He doesn't even have time to see the girls let alone look for daycare.

The last time we were in mediation he stated how much he hates my mom watching the girls. I said fine I'd gladly put them in daycare and he can pay half. He said NO WAY. The mediator said he needed to be quiet then about getting free daycare.

Looks like the email will just be stated that since my mom is leaving, daycare is necessary in order for me to maintain my full-time employment. Therefore, the cost for them to attend is $$$. Would you like to pay for *** and I will pay for ****?

But I haven't gotten that far yet. It needs to happen soon though cause school is out in 3 weeks!!

 

[CourtClerk]

Anyway, the forms themselves may not be included in your CO, but the verbiage may be. The forms were CA's way of helping the world do this nicely and neatly. There are still a lot of CO's that come my way on pleading paper. The mediator that you will see will not use the judicial council forms, they will type out the agreement, probably in Microsoft Word.

Shoot, I forgot what the rest of your post said...

 

[CourtClerk]

Oh, and one more thing. You need to send that email sooner than later. It's already the 2nd of May. Sooner than later means.... by the end of this week, if not tonight.

 

[StampGirl]

Update (sort of!)

We went "house-hunting" this weekend. We need to move as our rent is waaay too high.

Found a house that we love and are going to look at it tonight. The pictures of it were great and we drove by it yesterday. The rent is much cheaper than we pay now and the house is the same size.

The BEST thing is that the schools the kids would be going to let out later so that puts them home within 30 min of me being home. woohoo!!!! No daycare needed!!!!

So now just need to modify support amount and ask for dependants to be split. Whew.

Looks like my mom will stay with us through the summer too so that eliminates the need for summer daycamp!!

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

StampGirl - address the daycare issue for summer - don't want to be there next summer and stuck with the whole bill. Just have it stipulated on the percentage that each party WILL owe, when they have to attend. Obviously, if dad takes some time in the summer, that will help reduce that bill.

 

[StampGirl]

StampGirl - address the daycare issue for summer - don't want to be there next summer and stuck with the whole bill. Just have it stipulated on the percentage that each party WILL owe, when they have to attend. Obviously, if dad takes some time in the summer, that will help reduce that bill.

Pfft on him taking more than his weekends in the summer LOL He never takes more than Sat-Sun.

I am waiting to see if we need daycare for summer. I should know by Fri this week. My mom is thinking of just staying here until Aug to deal with the bank and their house situation anyways. Then I don't need summer daycare.

Planning on filing papers at end of May.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Pfft on him taking more than his weekends in the summer LOL He never takes more than Sat-Sun.

I am waiting to see if we need daycare for summer. I should know by Fri this week. My mom is thinking of just staying here until Aug to deal with the bank and their house situation anyways. Then I don't need summer daycare.

Planning on filing papers at end of May.

What about summer 2010??????

 

[StampGirl]

What about summer 2010??????

True but I thought we couldn't do "what-ifs"??

So I need to have a provision that provides for daycare IF I choose to use it? That works for me. LOL

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

True but I thought we couldn't do "what-ifs"??

So I need to have a provision that provides for daycare IF I choose to use it? That works for me. LOL

Go with the, IF daycare will be used, the NCP will pay X% and you pay y%. He is to reimburse you within X days of your payment.

 

[mommyof4]

Go with the, IF daycare will be used, the NCP will pay X% and you pay y%. He is to reimburse you within X days of your payment.

And I would further suggest that you not agree to each pay for one child. What happens when your oldest no longer goes to day care or after school care, but your youngest does? Then you get stuck with the entire bill and will have to go through another modification. Just ask that the day care be split equitably between you.