My 7 Year Old Daughter Punished For Wearing Pretty Dress On Picture Day!

[samsr]

NEW JERSEY

My seven year old daughter went to school with a pretty dress for picture
day. The teacher reported to principal that she was out of uniform and he removed her from class and placed her in the auditorium as punishment.
I was unavailable but my wife phoned and finally convinced the principal to allow her to take the picture. My daughter was then left unsupervised, in the auditorium from 9am-2:45 pm, having to do work on her knees using the uncomfortable auditorium chair as a desk. Her knees were raw and we kept her home from school the following day. I have written 2 letters, one to the principal and one to the teacher and am awaiting their response. This is a public school that has a uniform policy which we comply with daily. At no time in their communications with us did they tell us that the uniform was required on this picture day.

For the previous 3 years, my daughter has been allowed to wear a pretty outfit with no problems. This year, they have just gone crazy and I consider this just plain abuse of a defenseless
7 year old.

When I got home from work, my daughter said to me crying,
"Daddy, I had detention today and they punished me!"
I was fuming! I actually felt like filing a police report for abuse!

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

NEW JERSEY

My seven year old daughter went to school with a pretty dress for picture
day. The teacher reported to principal that she was out of uniform and he removed her from class and placed her in the auditorium as punishment.
I was unavailable but my wife phoned and finally convinced the principal to allow her to take the picture. My daughter was then left unsupervised, in the auditorium from 9am-2:45 pm, having to do work on her knees using the uncomfortable auditorium chair as a desk. Her knees were raw and we kept her home from school the following day. I have written 2 letters, one to the principal and one to the teacher and am awaiting their response. This is a public school that has a uniform policy which we comply with daily. At no time in their communications with us did they tell us that the uniform was required on this picture day.

For the previous 3 years, my daughter has been allowed to wear a pretty outfit with no problems. This year, they have just gone crazy and I consider this just plain abuse of a defenseless
7 year old.

When I got home from work, my daughter said to me crying,
"Daddy, I had detention today and they punished me!"
I was fuming! I actually felt like filing a police report for abuse!

My response:

Thanks for your lovely story. I'm sure your daughter looked absolutely exquisite.

Now, what would you like from us?

IAAL

 

[samsr]

Disclaimer Understood, Thanks!

From you in particular, I don't want anything. Your tone is condescending.
You can keep it.

I'm just looking for reactions,
is there a fee?

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Re: Disclaimer Understood, Thanks!

From you in particular, I don't want anything. Your tone is condescending.
You can keep it.

I'm just looking for reactions,
is there a fee?

My response:

Okay, your daughter looked ugly.

Look, New Jersey pal, put your attitude in your pocket, and listen up.

First, you NEVER asked any "legal questions".

Second, you already said you wrote two letters.

Third, you said you're considering a criminal complaint for abuse.


We are a "legal site", not a "Dear Abby" site - - where, if you wrote, you might get some "reactions". We don't do "reactions".

So, my question remains - - what do you want from us, from a "legal" standpoint?

IAAL


P.S. That first sentence was "my" reaction. There, you got one.

 

[JETX]

"My 7 Year Old Daughter Punished For Wearing Pretty Dress On Picture Day!"
*** No she didn't!! She got 'punished' for not following the school rules requiring a uniform!! And YOU allowed it.

"At no time in their communications with us did they tell us that the uniform was required on this picture day."
*** Curious... at any time did they tell you that uniforms were NOT required on this picture day?? What made you think that your daughter shouldn't have to comply with the REQUIRED school uniform??
Simply, YOU screwed up and assumed that she had some waiver of the requirements. Quit whining!!

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

TOP 10 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Make Your 8 Year Old Wear A Dress To School - -

NUMBER 10: When she wears a dress, she doesn't get many "Aren't you cutes" but plenty of "I'm calling the cops".

NUMBER 9: Because fifteen minutes ago, it was being worn by a fat, sweaty guy.

NUMBER 8: Every time she wears a dress, she tells her teacher, "Don't go in the middle of the classroom - - I had an accident".

NUMBER 7: Whenever she wears a dress, people come up to her and say, "My, you bear a striking resemblance to J. Edgar Hoover".

NUMBER 6: The only reason why she wears a dress is because you enjoy wearing her school uniform.

NUMBER 5: She looked out of place on picture day because all the kids at school dressed as their favorite Sesame Street character.

NUMBER 4: The principal asked her, "What's a nice girl like you doing here dressed as a Victoria's Secret model?"

NUMBER 3: Though the school discourages it, you make her show up on picture day dressed like an astronaut wearing a skirt.

NUMBER 2: It's not so much wearing a dress to school. Rather, it's just that it's the same type of dress Monica Lewinsky wore.

AND NOW, the NUMBER ONE Reason Why You Really Shouldn't Make Your 8 Year Old Wear A Dress To School - -

Your idea of a dress for picture day is making her show up on "picture day" dressed like that little "Monopoly" guy.


IAAL

 

[samsr]

Get A Life YAALTBAI

(JetX)

You failed to mention why it was ok
to break the "rules" for the last 3
years, tipical.

The school had no authority to decide
how my daughter looks in a picture on my wall five years from now, period.

"Waiver of Requirements??"

That's absurd!

Your a lemming.

Thanks for nothing, I'm out.

 

[JETX]

"The school had no authority to decide
how my daughter looks in a picture on my wall five years from now, period."
*** They do if the picture is being taken at the school. If you don't want the picture that they offer, don't buy it. Take your 'precious' down to K-Mart and have her picture taken in any clothes YOU choose.
Geeze.... what an idiot!!

"Thanks for nothing, I'm out."
*** Yep, out of your mind if you felt that ANY of your whiney, "poor-baby" crap has anything to do with the LAW or your 'rights'.
Quit being a whiner and trying to blame everyone else for YOUR problem. And yes, this is YOUR problem!! Don't even try to convince us that you were never notified that the uniform was required this year. How the hell do you figure that EVERYONE else (apparently) obeyed the rules and your little 'precious' didn't???

I won't wait for a response.... since your not here anymore.
Bubb-bye!

 

[stealth2]

It's embarrassing that people like this live in my state.

Look, dude. Whatever the school may or may not have done in the past, this year they are strictly enforcing the uniform policy. Unless you're given explicit permission to deviate from it, your kid has to follow it. On Picture Day, test days, every day she is in school. What she was punished for was for being out of uniform - the school has every right to enforce it's dress code. It really IS that simple.

(edit) Your school district's Code of conduct is quite specific regarding it's dress code and possible consequences of not following it. Page 5 of http://www.jcboe.org/departments/progsvcs/files/9E22163044834A86B116502FD3B0D8EC.pdf Perhaps it would be worth your while to read it.

 

[ellencee]

I have read this thread over and over because something keeps nagging at me about the situation(s).

What are the school's policies on coming to school out of uniform? Are children allowed to go home as they would if the children were sick? If so, why did Mom or Dad not go to the school and get the child? Why did Mom or Dad not take the child a uniform and let her change clothes? Why did Mom and Dad not send the child to school in her uniform, or her dress, with the other article of clothing with her so she could change clothes?

I do object to a child's being left unsupervised in an auditorium for that length of time; but if it is not against school policy, it's not against school policy.

I feel sorry for the child. A seven-year old should not have to carry that burden or those burdens that were placed upon her by her parents over a dress. Now she will be the only child in the yearbook in a dress and for the rest of her life she will remember that humiliation each time she looks at her yearbook or her school photo from that year.

I also disagree with the actions of the school. The child had no control over this issue; yet, she was the one who was humiliated. She was the one on knees all days doing her work. She's the one with scraped knees from doing her work in that manner. I think the school should have demanded that a parent bring the appropriate clothing or pick up the child from school. If it was absolutely impossible for the parents to do this, then I think the school should have provided a more appropriate setting for the child--like the library, or the counselor's office, or the vice-principal's office.

I believe that a child of seven is far too young to be made to carry the responsibility for someone else's actions (the parents).

EC

 

[stealth2]

The link I provided describes the policy and consequences pretty clearly.

 

[ellencee]

stealth2
I tried; I'm not 'communicating' with that url apparently.

If you don't mind telling me, what are the consequences and policies?

EC

 

[stealth2]

It won't let me c&p since it's a pdf, but basically lists what attire is not permitted and states that the BOE adopted a policy approving school uniforms. The portion regarding consequences, I'll just type in for you:

"Should students report to school in clothing which does not conform to the Dress Code, school staff will assess the circumstances and determine the measures to be taken to properly address the violation. These measures may include:

* parent/guardian bringing a change of clothes to the school
* parent/guardian conference
* detention
* in-school suspension
* Saturday detention/suspension"

I have to assume that this school district is no different than others I've had experience with in that they provide the Code of Conduct to all students at the beginning of the year. So the parents SHOULD have been aware of the consequences. Since the school WAS able to reach a parent, I don't know why the first option listed wasn't utilized (though I'm assuming there are transportation issues). As for being unsupervised, I'd suspect that there was someone at least checking on the child regularly - even if she may not have been aware of it. And the raw knees? I suspect that she wasn't forced to kneel as punishment, but was using the chair seat as a desk. Ideal on the school's part? Probably not. But also not likely actionable.

 

[ellencee]

Thanks for the information.

I don't think there is a cause for a 'legal' action, either.

I also don't think that a seven-year-old has the problem-solving skills necessary to have created a suitable workstation on her own. That part, I believe should be addressed with the school.

I also believe the parents owe the child and the school an apology--and to the school, a retraction of the letters and an apology for having sent the letters without giving the situation due consideration first.

Thanks again!
EC

 

[stealth2]

Yes, I agree. I suspect the OP won't tho. Aah well.