Nervous already PLEASE HELP!!!

[fairisfair]

Thats a bit cold don't you think? My husband is more than like any stranger on the street. Most any man can make a baby, but your father is who has raised and taken care of you your whole life. I know that at this time my husband has no rights. What I am asking is what do I do to establish him some rights. Which is possible, it happens all the time.

Yes, it is cold, but it is true. What is legal is not always what is fair. The only way he could get rights is adoption, that would have to be after termination of bio dad's rights. A long and probably impossible road.

Get a visitation order, then you won't be the bad guy, you are only following court orders, shouldn't be too hard to get supervised and/or gradual increased visitation under the circumstances.

And, start actively pursuing the back child support, that alone may be enough for him to either head for the hills or be willing to terminate rights.

 

[snshea]

To establish him some rights he needs to adopt the child. Why didn't this happen before when the bio offered?

 

[Punkyb830]

What I am telling you is he has not been in the picture. He abandoned him for 12 years. Even if you count his last support payment as non abandonment he has abandoned him for about a yr and 1/2 up till last week. Seeing him one time, buying him one birthday present and paying child support a total of 15 times (all of which where garnished) in his whole life,does not make him daddy of the year or daddy period. And I can't see that any court would find him fit to raise my son on a full time basis.

 

[snshea]

You have to accept things for what they are & not what you want them to be. Dad has rights!!!!!!

 

[rmet4nzkx]

You say the child support isn't important but you waited 1.5 years before you filed to get child support well after your husband came into the picture, you cashed the checks, you didn't tell your son that he had a different father than your husband, you never made any effort to allow a relationship between your son and his father. What is your son's last name? If his father want's to get a bigger apartment so your son's visits will be better, give him the SSN he is entitled to the #. Your son asked to see his father, he wants the relationship, he is old enough to go fishing by himself, why can't he go with his father? If you are so worried deliver him to the pier or whereever and plan to pick him up a few hours later.

 

[snshea]

Your only options are to have your husband adopt or prove the bio unfit. If you threaten the bio w/ arrearages & all of the sudden he's willing to terminate rights so that your husband can adopt - you'll know his intent wasn't sincere. If the bio truley wants a relationship with his child - you can't stop that!

 

[BelizeBreeze]

What I am telling you is he has not been in the picture. He abandoned him for 12 years. Even if you count his last support payment as non abandonment he has abandoned him for about a yr and 1/2 up till last week. Seeing him one time, buying him one birthday present and paying child support a total of 15 times (all of which where garnished) in his whole life,does not make him daddy of the year or daddy period. And I can't see that any court would find him fit to raise my son on a full time basis.

That's why, in this country, we have separation of the Judicial and Stupid brances of government.

Because regardless of what you can "See", we don't get to decide who has rights and who doesn't. Decisions like that are based on the law, NOT on our ego or hurt pride.

 

[fairisfair]

What I am telling you is he has not been in the picture. He abandoned him for 12 years. Even if you count his last support payment as non abandonment he has abandoned him for about a yr and 1/2 up till last week. Seeing him one time, buying him one birthday present and paying child support a total of 15 times (all of which where garnished) in his whole life,does not make him daddy of the year or daddy period. And I can't see that any court would find him fit to raise my son on a full time basis.

If you are looking for someone to understand, I understand. Now you have gotten the legal advice that you wanted and someone who understands. Again, legal is not always fair.

Protect yourself and your son. get a visitation order. pursue the back child support, file on him for contempt, hope that it will either show him to be the loser you think he is or he will step up and be a father. You SAY that is what you want, either for him to be consistent and a good influence or to back off. Make him do one or the other.

Wishing and hoping is not going to accomplish anything.

 

[Punkyb830]

You say the child support isn't important but you waited 1.5 years before you filed to get child support well after your husband came into the picture, you cashed the checks, you didn't tell your son that he had a different father than your husband, you never made any effort to allow a relationship between your son and his father. What is your son's last name? If his father want's to get a bigger apartment so your son's visits will be better, give him the SSN he is entitled to the #. Your son asked to see his father, he wants the relationship, he is old enough to go fishing by himself, why can't he go with his father? If you are so worried deliver him to the pier or whereever and plan to pick him up a few hours later.

My son has my madian name, his bio swore that he was'nt the father and wanted nothing to do with him. I never tried to seek support after 1.5 years. I only established perternity so his bio couldnt deny any more, hoping that he would then come around, but he did'nt. I never went to court to establish anything reguarding money. The state did it automatically, its how they do things here. I always told the Bio he was welcome to see him. But he was in denial. so untill I knew the bio was willing I could'nt find it in my heart to tell my son "hey your dads not you bio dad" Because if he would have asked to see him and the bio said no, then I would have to tell my son he couldnt meet him and what would that have done to him. Also I just could'nt find the right time to tell him. But Finally the bio said if he ever wanted to meet him he would be okay with that. And I thought my son was old enough to explain things to, so I did. As soon as My husband and I told my son we asked him if he wanted to meet his biological father and he said yes. That very day I called someone who knew how to get in touch with him and sent a message for him to call me. All I asked of him was that we take things slow so son could get to know him and that he not make promises he could'nt keep and break his heart. He agreed.

My whole reason for saying that the money is not important is that I would take a minute of my son having positive time with his bio over any amount of child support. I didnt have my father in my life and know how that feels. I dont want to take the bios rights away. I want him to see him. But he is a Disney Land Dad who only likes to have fun with the child and never gonna be there for the long haul and for all the things that it takes to be a parent. Is it so wrong to want to know that if something happens to me my son will be well taken care of?

As for the adoption thing it was alot of money that we did'nt have at the time. In a perfect world we would all be rich, but we live pay check to pay check and yes we're trying to save for that. He had offered to pay for my husband to adopt him in lue of child support owed, but when it came down to the wire he did'nt fork over the dough and we couldnt come up with all the money.

 

[Punkyb830]

That's why, in this country, we have separation of the Judicial and Stupid brances of government.

Because regardless of what you can "See", we don't get to decide who has rights and who doesn't. Decisions like that are based on the law, NOT on our ego or hurt pride.

I know I don't get to decide thats why I am asking what legal route I should take. And I never said it was about my ego or hurt pride. What If I died tomorrow and the court said he was'nt right to care for my child and my husband also had no rights established, then where would my son be.
Why do you seem so angry and combative?
I dont want you to tell me what I want to hear, I want the truth, but there is a difference between telling the truth and being hateful.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

I know I don't get to decide thats why I am asking what legal route I should take. And I never said it was about my ego or hurt pride. What If I died tomorrow and the court said he was'nt right to care for my child and my husband also had no rights established, then where would my son be.
Why do you seem so angry and combative?
I dont want you to tell me what I want to hear, I want the truth, but there is a difference between telling the truth and being hateful.

Angry and combative? No, just tired of answering the same damn question more than once.

I answer you a loooong time ago. Now, go back and re-read this thread.

 

[Punkyb830]

Angry and combative? No, just tired of answering the same damn question more than once.

I answer you a loooong time ago. Now, go back and re-read this thread.

No one said you had to answer at all or re answer. I read the thread and commented on comments and tried to explain myself to each person. I appriciate your time, but if it wears you out perhaps you should move along.

 

[Punkyb830]

Further more your opinion is not the only one that matters, I came on here for several.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Further more your opinion is not the only one that matters, I came on here for several.

O.K. you came here for several ....was that opinions, ideas, bs statements of legal answers?

If the last, then here you go...several of them.

The ONLY issue I will answer is your last one.

Your now husband, upon your death, has no rights. The child will go to his father or, if the court finds him unfit, will work down the biological chain.

Your now husband is just like any other stranger off the street.

The ONLY issue I will answer is your last one.

Your now husband, upon your death, has no rights. The child will go to his father or, if the court finds him unfit, will work down the biological chain.

Your now husband is just like any other stranger off the street.

The ONLY issue I will answer is your last one.

Your now husband, upon your death, has no rights. The child will go to his father or, if the court finds him unfit, will work down the biological chain.

Your now husband is just like any other stranger off the street.

The ONLY issue I will answer is your last one.

Your now husband, upon your death, has no rights. The child will go to his father or, if the court finds him unfit, will work down the biological chain.

Your now husband is just like any other stranger off the street.

Now you have SEVERAL CORRECT legal answers. Anything else is incorrect opinion or bias.

 

[Punkyb830]

Okay then I am sorry to have tripped your trigger. Thank you for your time and have a nice day.