New Spouse Income ($$$$)

[DSShopper]

What is the name of your state? California


I remarried over a year ago. Prior to marriage I made approx. 110k (year) After marriage I quit to stay home with children. New spouse makes quite a large salary, mid six figures. X husband's salary is less than 100k -X currently paying 1100.00 a month support (support covers Private High School tuition both kids) QUESTION: Can he takes us to court and get his support reduced due to my new spouse's income? I am really concerned as new spouse has taken on quite a large debt with me not working and the cost of 2 kids - X's support covers tuition only, not to mention the kids would feel horrible if Dad didn't contribute anything to their support. Thanks for any insight

 

[Crazed98]

not to mention the kids would feel horrible if Dad didn't contribute anything to their support.

If your children are that young that you stay home to take care of them I highly doubt that they will care if their daddy is contributing to their support.

 

[DSShopper]

My children are not that young - they are 14 and 16

I was a single mother over 7 years - working full time earning my way up from the bottom in a very competive world. I have no college degree and was very proud of what I was able to accomplish. I AM ALSO VERY APPRECIAtIVE - and understand that to most of you my position is inconceivable.

My kids are very much aware of the fact their father pays support - with everything on TV, etc about this issue tied in with the fact they have never seen their father more than once or twice a month. They have asked in the past "Mom does dad pay you" I have always told them "Yes honey, he pays every month" Never discussed the amount, but did want them to know their father loves them very much regardless how often he visits he is not a dead beat dad - due to all the TV/media attention on this issue.

I also am very appreciative of the fact I am able to stay home during a VERY trying time period. This has helped me transition the children and my spouse into a new phase of our life. Please do not feel I am not appreciative or thankful for my situation compared to others. I count my blessings daily.

But I still have a very valid question.

 

[NotSoNew]

no, your EX cannot get his support reduced due to your new spouse's income, your new husbands income does not count towards CS obligations. However I would not attempt to have it increased on your end (because you are not working) because the court would likely say you are willfully un-employed and base the calcualtions on what you previously made.

 

[stealth2]

That's actually pretty standard visitation.

 

[Crazed98]

My kids are very much aware of the fact their father pays support - with everything on TV, etc about this issue tied in with the fact they have never seen their father more than once or twice a month. They have asked in the past "Mom does dad pay you" I have always told them "Yes honey, he pays every month" Never discussed the amount, but did want them to know their father loves them very much regardless how often he visits he is not a dead beat dad - due to all the TV/media attention on this issue.

But do they know that he can go to jail if he doesn't pay? I am not saying he doesn't love them but he is required by law to give that amount to you he isn't doing it out of the kindness of his own heart.

 

[stealth2]

But do they know that he can go to jail if he doesn't pay? I am not saying he doesn't love them but he is required by law to give that amount to you he isn't doing it out of the kindness of his own heart.

And why would the kids need to know that?

 

[Crazed98]

And why would the kids need to know that?

Nevermind I lost my train of thought.

 

[MandyD]

But do they know that he can go to jail if he doesn't pay? I am not saying he doesn't love them but he is required by law to give that amount to you he isn't doing it out of the kindness of his own heart.

How do you know he's not doing it out of the goodness of his heart? Not every NCP needs a court order to get them to do what they should be doing regardless, although the court order is very helpful when problems arise. Just because a court order has been issued doesn't mean the NCP wouldn't have been supporting his/her children anyway. Many NCPs take their responsibilities seriously.

 

[Crazed98]

How do you know he's not doing it out of the goodness of his heart? Not every NCP needs a court order to get them to do what they should be doing regardless, although the court order is very helpful when problems arise. Just because a court order has been issued doesn't mean the NCP wouldn't have been supporting his/her children anyway. Many NCPs take their responsibilities seriously.

If he was the OP wouldn't be worried about him taking her to court to get the child support reduced.

$13,200 a year is a lot of money and if he is the kind and caring father that would do that out of the kindness of his own heart he is spending even more on them during visitations. Subtract all that from what he is making and I bet you it isn't a whole lot of money.

 

[DSShopper]

In the past my X did take his support seriously. He still does pay however in the last year he has made many comments causing me concern due to the obvious change of lifestyle... example: "you are in the big money now, you can afford it"

Another example: my son is 16 and my x wants us to buy him a car. I have no problem with that (providing my son meets and continues the grad criteria we set up)...I told my X I think we could get him a good used car for 10k...he said why can't he get a new one - you can afford it.

My thought on this is just because we can afford it (remember my new spouse never had these obligations before and I am fortunate he is willing to support them)doesn't mean a 16 needs or has earned a new car. I don't want my children having the thought process that they are entitled - My new spouse also worked his way from the bottom to the top of a large corp. with no degree...good work ethics, etc. I want to instill those same morals, values, etc. into my children.

Just some insight....

 

[haiku]

But do they know that he can go to jail if he doesn't pay? I am not saying he doesn't love them but he is required by law to give that amount to you he isn't doing it out of the kindness of his own heart.

"Why yes, Junior, Daddy pays me, sure he loves you and all, but he wouldn't be paying anything without that court order, no way, because I can put his sorry ass in jail if he doesn't. He don't give a damn if you eat or go to school on his dime! yes sirree!"

yeah, thats a better way to put it!.......

 

[DSShopper]

re: new spouse income

I have read alot of info on the web stating a new spouse's income can be considered in extrememe situations "a parent who coluntarily or intentinally quits work or reduces income, or who intentionally remain unemployed or underemployed and relies on a subsequent spouse's income."

The amount my X pays was determined 10 years ago - and has never changed/adjusted.

I am concerned that our situation falls into the "extrememe situation" category. ???

 

[haiku]

In the past my X did take his support seriously. He still does pay however in the last year he has made many comments causing me concern due to the obvious change of lifestyle... example: "you are in the big money now, you can afford it"

Another example: my son is 16 and my x wants us to buy him a car. I have no problem with that (providing my son meets and continues the grad criteria we set up)...I told my X I think we could get him a good used car for 10k...he said why can't he get a new one - you can afford it.

My thought on this is just because we can afford it (remember my new spouse never had these obligations before and I am fortunate he is willing to support them)doesn't mean a 16 needs or has earned a new car. I don't want my children having the thought process that they are entitled - My new spouse also worked his way from the bottom to the top of a large corp. with no degree...good work ethics, etc. I want to instill those same morals, values, etc. into my children.

Just some insight....

personally thats worth a shoulder shrug to me. It goes both ways, beleive me. Everytime we buy a new car or something of that nature, and the ex wife gets wind of it, we get the whole obnoxious "must be nice" comments, and from the kids "mommy says you have the money for..."

Some people just refuse to take any responsibility for thier choices.

I don't see it as anything to get alarmed about really.

 

[Crazed98]

In the past my X did take his support seriously. He still does pay however in the last year he has made many comments causing me concern due to the obvious change of lifestyle... example: "you are in the big money now, you can afford it"

Another example: my son is 16 and my x wants us to buy him a car. I have no problem with that (providing my son meets and continues the grad criteria we set up)...I told my X I think we could get him a good used car for 10k...he said why can't he get a new one - you can afford it.

My thought on this is just because we can afford it (remember my new spouse never had these obligations before and I am fortunate he is willing to support them)doesn't mean a 16 needs or has earned a new car. I don't want my children having the thought process that they are entitled - My new spouse also worked his way from the bottom to the top of a large corp. with no degree...good work ethics, etc. I want to instill those same morals, values, etc. into my children.

Just some insight....

You can get a good used car for less than 5k. He would appreciate it more if he had to get a job to pay for it or atleast pay you back for it.

Your ex is just upset that you don't work, your husband has a better paying job, and he has to pay over a 1000 a month adding to the household's yearly income.