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Not putting child first

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Seriously - you need to get on the phone with your son's doctor like yesterday, get a realistic picture of what's going on (medically) and what the dr feels should come next in terms of testing, treatment, etc.

ETA: Your concern about Mom not putting the child first wrt nutrition, trash talking you, etc. is misplaced. Fact is - if neither of you is willing to dig deeper into these blood test issues? NEITHER of you are putting the child first. NEITHER of you are looking at his best interests. BOTH of you are using him as a pawn in your long-term hatred of each other. <spit>
His 2nd test came back normal range for the white blood count. If I remember correctly it may have been due to antibiotics or ear infection. Either way I will check again. It's hard to say everything on this site in so few words. But basically I do believe some of the lab work results were from poor nutrition. I should have a copy of the results my self. If she will give me the dr's info.. It's hard because she purposely excludes me from things. I only know what she tells me. I do not play the same games that she does or use my son as a pawn like she does for the record. I appritiate the responses either way. Thank you.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Okay - so the nutrition. How do you know what she feeds him on the daily? Is he active (not necessarily in sports, but activities in general)? Does Mom work?

Were the K levels high or low?
 
If you are concerned about poor nutrition, what have you done to help the situation? Is the goal to improve your child's nutrition or decrease the amount of time the child spends with Mom? Have you considered sending your child to mom with a bunch of healthy snacks such as fruit and cheese? Do you help to minimize the stress on Mom's food reserves by feeding your son right before exchange and expecting to feed your son as soon as you pick him up?
 
How do you know the test results if you don't know the doctor's name?
Exactly. I only know what she tells me. She won't give me the Dr's info, but I found it myself today by calling around. They are mailing me the info, and said the follow up test he had for white blood cell count was normal.
 
If you are concerned about poor nutrition, what have you done to help the situation? Is the goal to improve your child's nutrition or decrease the amount of time the child spends with Mom? Have you considered sending your child to mom with a bunch of healthy snacks such as fruit and cheese? Do you help to minimize the stress on Mom's food reserves by feeding your son right before exchange and expecting to feed your son as soon as you pick him up?
My concern is his nutrition. My son has some OCD issues. He will only eat a few certain things. Mostly processed food and apples.His mother does not make him eat the normal meals her and her boyfriends kids eat everyday.she is more concerned with being his friend not a parent. She wants to keep my son on her side any way possible.she will take him to the Dr's , but not do what the Dr says. For example he just went a few weeks ago for headaches and the Dr said he is dehydrated, but she won't make sure he drinks enough, or more water. He has bad allergies, and she won't make him take his allergy medicine. I honestly don't know how to fix this issue. I have sent him back with medicine and vitamins but she won't make him take it.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
My concern is his nutrition. My son has some OCD issues. He will only eat a few certain things. Mostly processed food and apples.His mother does not make him eat the normal meals her and her boyfriends kids eat everyday.she is more concerned with being his friend not a parent. She wants to keep my son on her side any way possible.she will take him to the Dr's , but not do what the Dr says. For example he just went a few weeks ago for headaches and the Dr said he is dehydrated, but she won't make sure he drinks enough, or more water. He has bad allergies, and she won't make him take his allergy medicine. I honestly don't know how to fix this issue. I have sent him back with medicine and vitamins but she won't make him take it.
Again, how do you know all of this if you don't even know the doctor's name and phone number?
 
Again, how do you know all of this if you don't even know the doctor's name and phone number?
In the past Only from what she tells me. I spoke to his Dr today. They are mailing me info.i realize I need to do more. That is what I am trying to do.
 
In the past Only from what she tells me. I spoke to his Dr today. They are mailing me info.i realize I need to do more. That is what I am trying to do.
My concern is his nutrition. My son has some OCD issues. He will only eat a few certain things. Mostly processed food and apples.His mother does not make him eat the normal meals her and her boyfriends kids eat everyday.she is more concerned with being his friend not a parent. She wants to keep my son on her side any way possible.she will take him to the Dr's , but not do what the Dr says. For example he just went a few weeks ago for headaches and the Dr said he is dehydrated, but she won't make sure he drinks enough, or more water. He has bad allergies, and she won't make him take his allergy medicine. I honestly don't know how to fix this issue. I have sent him back with medicine and vitamins but she won't make him take it.
 
While that may point at a medical problem, it is not inherently due to poor nutrition.

Your son needs further medical testing to determine whether he is seriously ill or if his "normal" is different from others. Has he seen a hematologist?
Thank you. I spoke to his Dr's office today. They are mailing me info. His follow up apt that he had come back in normal range.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
My concern is his nutrition. My son has some OCD issues. He will only eat a few certain things. Mostly processed food and apples.His mother does not make him eat the normal meals her and her boyfriends kids eat everyday.she is more concerned with being his friend not a parent. She wants to keep my son on her side any way possible.she will take him to the Dr's , but not do what the Dr says. For example he just went a few weeks ago for headaches and the Dr said he is dehydrated, but she won't make sure he drinks enough, or more water. He has bad allergies, and she won't make him take his allergy medicine. I honestly don't know how to fix this issue. I have sent him back with medicine and vitamins but she won't make him take it.
Generally a child is not going to get dehydrated unless they are ill. Children generally drink as much as they need to drink because they get thirsty. What they need to drink does not necessarily have to be water to keep them hydrated.

It is also not unheard of for a parent to only give a child allergy medicine when the child actually needs the medicine, rather than every day. Some allergy medicines are not recommended for daily use but only for use as needed.

Its a fine line sometimes with an OCD child between forcing the child to eat with the child doesn't want to eat, and getting the child to eat at all. You and mom are going to have different ways of handling the child's eating. The same thing applies to vitamins, unless you can find something that the child will WANT to take. My daughter would not take medicine at all as a young child. My ex and I worked around that by getting the pharmacist to add strawberry flavoring to everything and then mixing it with some water and calling it strawberry juice.
 

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