Online services passwords

[olhobbes]

Okay...so tell mom that if she doesn't share the log in information, you'll have the page closed due to the TOS.

I think you should close it anyway. You are teaching your kid that it is okay to break some rules when they aren't that big of a deal. Where do you draw the line?

In a co-parenting situation, I find it inappropriate to contradict the other parent unless the child's safety or well being is at stake. I certainly don't stand for it when mom tries to pull it with me. And, like I said, the fb issue ( properly managed/monitored ) itself is hardly worth the ruckus that would be caused if I reported the page.

I do have concern for my daughter's well being, for exactly the reasons you specified Blue Meanie. Which is why I want that auth information. I may take Nevergrowup's advice and report the page if I'm not given authentication information.

 

[sandyclaus]

In a co-parenting situation, I find it inappropriate to contradict the other parent unless the child's safety or well being is at stake. I certainly don't stand for it when mom tries to pull it with me. And, like I said, the fb issue ( properly managed/monitored ) itself is hardly worth the ruckus that would be caused if I reported the page.

I do have concern for my daughter's well being, for exactly the reasons you specified Blue Meanie. Which is why I want that auth information. I may take Nevergrowup's advice and report the page if I'm not given authentication information.

I still say you are making a mistake by condoning her even HAVING the FB account. There are most definitely things out there that a 7 year old has NO business looking at. Plus, I would also wonder about the kinds of friends she has if they also have FB accounts. I know of MANY people who misrepresent their ages, so you won't even know if that OTHER 7 or 8 year old child she thinks she is talking to there is really a 50-year-old pedophile or not.

At least a 13 year old has SOME concept of how to protect themselves from those who might hurt them online. But a 7 year old hasn't even begun to mature to that level.

Seriously, if you are so concerned about her well being, then you need to set some very basic ground rules. That includes removing access to something that she has NO business having at her age.

Time to be the mean parent, Dad. This isn't just something you can ignore because it's too inconvenient to set the boundary.

 

[CJane]

FWIW, I do not agree that both parents 'deserve' the same access to a kids' online accounts. I think it depends on the child/ren, the individual parents, and the nature of the account. I think it also depends on WHY the parent without access feels they need it.

In MY case, my kids don't even know their FB passwords. Or their email passwords. They're set to automatically log in from a specific browser on my laptop, and they can access them at will while at my home. They cannot access them from anywhere else (because, again, they don't know their passwords).

They're not allowed to access the internet from their father's house. I do not trust their father or his wife not to post as if they were the child, in an effort to use that against me later. And that paranoia is not without merit. Therefore, they will not be provided with passwords, no matter how often they ask. And they cannot coerce the passwords out of the kids.

 

[Just Blue]

FWIW, I do not agree that both parents 'deserve' the same access to a kids' online accounts. I think it depends on the child/ren, the individual parents, and the nature of the account. I think it also depends on WHY the parent without access feels they need it.

In MY case, my kids don't even know their FB passwords. Or their email passwords. They're set to automatically log in from a specific browser on my laptop, and they can access them at will while at my home. They cannot access them from anywhere else (because, again, they don't know their passwords).

They're not allowed to access the internet from their father's house. I do not trust their father or his wife not to post as if they were the child, in an effort to use that against me later. And that paranoia is not without merit. Therefore, they will not be provided with passwords, no matter how often they ask. And they cannot coerce the passwords out of the kids.

Is there a "good"reason that a 7 year old needs their OWN FB/e-mail?

 

[Proserpina]

FWIW, I do not agree that both parents 'deserve' the same access to a kids' online accounts. I think it depends on the child/ren, the individual parents, and the nature of the account. I think it also depends on WHY the parent without access feels they need it.

In MY case, my kids don't even know their FB passwords. Or their email passwords. They're set to automatically log in from a specific browser on my laptop, and they can access them at will while at my home. They cannot access them from anywhere else (because, again, they don't know their passwords).

They're not allowed to access the internet from their father's house. I do not trust their father or his wife not to post as if they were the child, in an effort to use that against me later. And that paranoia is not without merit. Therefore, they will not be provided with passwords, no matter how often they ask. And they cannot coerce the passwords out of the kids.

But you have a valid reason for your concern.

OP has mentioned no such reason and as far as I can see there's nothing in OP's hx to suggest that he has similar valid concerns.

So yes - I do understand what you're saying and certainly in your circumstances it's absolutely justified. But as a general rule, I still think it's a common courtesy for both sets of parents to have access to their child's online activity.

 

[CJane]

Is there a "good"reason that a 7 year old needs their OWN FB/e-mail?

My BF's 5 year old has had an FB page since she was 3. So she could play farmville and junk.

I don't agree with it, but it's none of my business.

I just don't happen to agree that it's 'common courtesy' to give the other parent the password/access information. The parent in question doesn't need to allow the child to access the account on their time/from their home. They have no 'need' for the access info.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Little Miss ProSe asked for a Facebook account for Christmas, and told me that she asked The Ex for the same thing. I explained to her that I would contact Facebook to have it removed if ANYbody set her up for it. Not well received, but accepted...

FWIW...

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

I just don't happen to agree that it's 'common courtesy' to give the other parent the password/access information. The parent in question doesn't need to allow the child to access the account on their time/from their home. They have no 'need' for the access info.

I disagree, but every situation is different...

Love ya, Jane...

 

[CJane]

I disagree, but every situation is different...

Love ya, Jane...

Totally mutual darlin.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Totally mutual darlin.

Don't tell my girl, but you just made my heart race a little....

Oooooh, but so many states away...

 

[LdiJ]

Is there a "good"reason that a 7 year old needs their OWN FB/e-mail?

Family connections...sharing pictures with family, corresponding with family. I can see email being appropriate and maybe even facebook, despite the fact that it violates their TOS.

I think that's a parenting/family decision based on family dynamics. If a whole extended family uses facebook to connect, then it would make sense if the younger members did the same.

 

[LdiJ]

Is there a "good"reason that a 7 year old needs their OWN FB/e-mail?

Family connections...sharing pictures with family, corresponding with family. I can see email being appropriate and maybe even facebook, despite the fact that it violates their TOS.

I think that's a parenting/family decision based on family dynamics. If a whole extended family uses facebook to connect, then it would make sense if the younger members did the same.

 

[Just Blue]

Family connections...sharing pictures with family, corresponding with family. I can see email being appropriate and maybe even facebook, despite the fact that it violates their TOS.

I think that's a parenting/family decision based on family dynamics. If a whole extended family uses facebook to connect, then it would make sense if the younger members did the same.

So why can't the little children use Mom's or Dad's FB or e-mail to connect? Why their own PERSONAL account?

 

[TheGeekess]

So why can't the little children use Mom's or Dad's FB or e-mail to connect? Why their own PERSONAL account?

I set up The Teen a personal email account years ago. I didn't want her snooping around my email accounts. There are some things that she doesn't need to know about that comes through my email. (Electronic receipts for gifts comes to mind.)

 

[>Charlotte<]

So why can't the little children use Mom's or Dad's FB or e-mail to connect? Why their own PERSONAL account?

As long as a parent provides strict supervision and sets clear and firm boundaries, granting children some direct access to the Internet is a good opportunity for learning computer usage and responsibility.

My six year old grandson has his own Facebook account so we can share jokes and pictures and short messages, and play games. Only his very immediate relatives are friends, and we all have special accounts set up just for him (I certainly wouldn't want him to see a lot of what's on my "real" account!)

It's wonderful. I'm able to interact with him a lot more than I used to (what six year old wants to have a 20 minute phone conversation with Grandma?) and we have fun together every day. When he lives 3000 miles away, that means a lot.